Genuine Liars
by AsheLyne
Summary: "It takes one to know one." Killua Zoldyck may have been a liar, but I couldn't judge him. We had been liars from the start. The relationship that was built was made with pretty lies - fake truths to cover up our worst selves. It shouldn't have been surprising to see it come crashing down. It shouldn't have, but it was. The remains weren't forgiving. [Killua x OC]
1. Sugar

**Title: Genuine Liars  
Author: Ashelyne  
****Rated: T for violence and swearing  
****Pairing: Killua Zoldyck x OC**

**Edit: This chapter was edited 10 July 2015! Later chapters are much longer in length.  
**

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e**

**l-i-a-r-s**

_1: Sugar_

* * *

"Thanks for coming! Please come again!"

The young girl gave a bright smile as I handed her mother the bags of candy. Three bags filled to the brim with rosy pink cotton candy, milky white chocolate bars, and gum drops. _Gross._ Immediately, the child reached for the bag and began to devour the pink substance, the mother trying to usher her daughter out of the store.

The door fell closed behind them, instantly shrouding the rest of the shop in silence. It was 7pm on the dot, leaving only an hour of work before closing. Most people tended not to enter the candy shop later than 6, so I could probably spend this last hour catching up on one of my books.

After I retrieved the ancient text from under the counter, I opened to where I last left off and slipped my Hunter License out from under the yellowing pages. This piece of plastic meant both the world and nothing to me. It was valuable yet useless. But I knew that losing this piece of plastic would lose me more than I could ever regain.

Which is exactly why I used it as a bookmark. It wasn't something that people would expect.

I skimmed over the previous paragraphs in an attempt to remember what I had last read. I was just starting where I left off when the door chimes resounded and rang in my ears. Curious (and hoping that this would be the last customer for the day), I raised my head and offered the mandatory smile.

A teenage boy, white stick prodding out of his mouth, casually glanced around the store, not bothering to glance in my direction. My smile faltered. Keeping his hands in his pockets, he observed the contents of various jars, eyeing the chocolate bars in a way that made me uncomfortable.

Then he did something strange. He took a handful of the chocolate bars and began peeling the wrappers back, the color of cocoa peeking out. Then he took a bite. What.

"You know, you're supposed to pay for the things you use," I commented, returning my gaze to the book.

The boy removed the stick from his mouth, glancing around the area again. The lollipop stick was in one hand, the handful of chocolate bars in the other.

"There's a trashcan behind you."

The boy nodded, turning on his heel to dispose of the stick. Then he turned back around to face me, eyebrows raised ever so slightly. He began walking closer, and I counted the number of bars he had taken. Three.

"Three chocolate bars will be 375 Jenny." I stared up at the boy through my lashes, but he didn't make a move.

His hair was white, almost silver looking. He was pale, so his emerald eyes stood out against the rest of him. He wore a simple black vest, arms exposed. Muscular but lean. He was skinny yet toned at the same time. "Four chocolate bars."

I must've looked confused. He repeated it. "I bought four chocolate bars. Isn't that 500 Jenny?"

"I-" As if to prove his point, he dug out the fourth bar from his pocket. Whistling, he placed all four onto the countertop as he fished for the correct amount of change from his pocket.

I stared at him for a few seconds, unsure of what to make of this arrangement. So instead, I swallowed hard and tried to keep it professional. Pfft. Because candy shop workers are just _so_ professional. "Right. 500 Jenny, my apologies."

He stared back, head tilting to the side. "...How do you have a Hunter License? Did you steal it? No, I doubt that you could've competed a feat like that…"

What.

Teeth clenched together in an attempt to hide my acute anger, I deposited the Jenny and slided the bag towards the boy. Just ignore him. He probably doesn't know what he's saying.

"Can you see?"

I stared at him like he was dumb. What was that even supposed to mean? "Well, I'm not blind," I responded, clicking my tongue and dropping my gaze back towards the book.

He nodded inwardly. "That confirms it." What. What was he even saying…?

Taking a shaky breath, I felt relieved when I heard his shoes clicking against the wooden floor. Good. When the door began to chime, I glanced up again, forced a smile, and recited the line I was to say after every purchase. "Thanks for coming! Please come again!"

* * *

That night, I held my Hunter License between two fingers up to the light. Huh. This plastic had the power to do a lot, didn't it?

I lowered my hand, closing my eyes. The Hunter Exam was just as grueling difficult as anyone would say. It was only because I was born into a family of Hunters that I was able to accomplish what I did. I first entered when I was 15, yet failed for inexperience. At 16, I failed during the second to last phase because of a stupid mistake of overestimating my opponent. Then last month, I was 17 and reentered, determined to win. There, I met Nuly, a really, really kind girl a year younger than me. We met in the first stage in which the applicants were told to solve a puzzle. It was a string of riddles, and with Nuly's help, we both passed the first phase.

I reopened my eyes, feeling a gnawing in my heart. Nuly was so kind.

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING_

The noise bounced off my ears as I jolted up, hurrying to find my phone. Ugh, the ringing always scared the crap out of me, but the phone itself was decent. Nearing the source of the sound, I hastily answered after retrieving it.

"Hello?"

Shuffling on the other end. "Era! Era, how are you holding up? How's your job going? What's it like in Yorknew!?"

The slightest tinge of a smile found its way onto my lips. "Nice to talk to you again, too, Nuly." I shifted the phone from one shoulder to the other, stifling a yawn. It was getting late. "But thanks. I'm doing fine. I had a really weird experience at my job today, though."

"Ooooh, really?" she cooed, eliciting a giggle. "What happened? Was he hot?"

"What? How do you know it involves a guy?" I asked, confused by her last question.

"Does it not?"

"..."

"It does! I knew it!" Nuly's laugh resounded over the phone. We had known each other for just over a month, yet talking to her seemed natural. We weren't best friends, but we were closer than acquaintances. She seemed to always have the most exciting stories babbling on about her array of colorful uncles. Literally.

I laughed on my end. "Well, it does, but not in the way you'd think." I recalled the memory, trying to figure what to make of it. "This guy… it's like he, oh, I dunno. He was acting weird. I think he was mocking me. He asked if I could 'see'."

"Huuuh." Nuly went quiet, probably as she pondered the scenario. "Well, I wouldn't make too much of it. There are a lot of weirdos stalking around Yorknew! Be careful and stay wary of men with white vans!"

She caused a laugh to escape my lips again. "Right, right." I left the part out about his comment on my Hunter License since I was unsure how she would react.

We chatted quietly for the next few minutes before she announced that she was heading to sleep. We said our farewells, and with that, I hung up, dropping the phone onto the spot next to me.

Nuly didn't pass the Hunter Exam. She was supposed to, but then I ended up passing instead.

If she heard me beating myself up about it again, she would get angry. She would say that I was worrying about nothing, and that she didn't pass because she wasn't qualified to. Sure, she wasn't the strongest applicant there, but she was definitely one of the smartest. But if one of us was to pass, it should've been her.

Take deep breaths. I calmed myself, waiting for the night to lull me to sleep and cease these thoughts.

* * *

The next morning, I changed into my uniform. It was a simple light pink button up shirt, white polka dots striping around my waist. The text 'CANDY SHOPPE' was written across my chest in bubbly blue letters. Unique.

Sighing, I pulled my hair back into the mandatory ponytail as I walked to the store. We were low on workers, so my hours were always weird. I didn't usually work in the mornings, but today was an exception.

The first customer didn't appear until an hour in. It was a feeble boy, circular glasses touching the rim of his nose. He looked over the merchandise before picking out a bouquet of suckers.

Sigh. This was going to be a long shift.

…

Munching on a cookie that tasted, looked, and smelled like it was processed with every chemical known to man, I tried to swallow down the sugary taste. Ugh, everything in this store was sweet and sugary. Sweets weren't my favorite. I really shouldn't have been working here.

"Yo."

I glanced up, slightly shocked to see the same weird boy from last night. His hair was even messier than last night, eyes having the slightest mischievous twinkle.

I nodded towards him, watching as he bent down and grabbed four chocolate bars. Instead of peeling the wrappers back, he merely shoved them onto the table and took out his wallet.

"So, 500 Jenny, right?"

"Right."

He slid his change onto the counter. I counted it up, depositing the amount into the cash register before placing his merchandise into the bag.

"Are you new here?" he asked, staring at me hard with a blank expression. "I come to this store a lot, but I've only seen you twice."

Oh. He probably usually only comes in the morning. "Molley usually takes the morning shifts. I take the evening shifts. Other than that, I've been working here for about a month." I slid the bag towards him, not feeling obligated to lie. It was a conversation with a customer. Normal.

He peered inside before pulling the bag over his shoulder. "Right, makes sense." He stared at me for a few more seconds before his eyes flittered away. "You just finished the Hunter Exam then, didn't you?"

I stared at him, mouth agape. Sure, he saw my License last night, but did I look like an amateur? Yeah, maybe it was February and the Hunter Exam happened every January, but I still could've been a professional.

"It's simple, really," he explained in response to my agape mouth, slowly peeling back one of the wrappers. "It's obvious that you're a new hunter. That, or just really inexperienced. I mean, what hunter works at a candy shop? Era, is it?" His eyes lifted from my nametag to meet my eyes.

Was he… mocking me again? Before I could respond, the door was roughly pushed open. A new boy stood there, finger pointing at the white haired boy in front of me.

"Killua! I found you!"

White haired boy - presumably this _Killua _\- turned around, looking slightly surprised to see the new boy. "Oh, that was quick."

What.

* * *

**Author's Note: First HxH fanfiction! Hope this works out. I haven't wrote fanfiction for a few years.**


	2. Acidic Introductions

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e**

**l-i-a-r-s**

_2: Acidic Introductions_

* * *

"So, explain to me why a beginner Hunter like yourself is working at a freaking candy shop instead of being out on actual missions?"

I eyed Killua for a few seconds before returning to hover over my book. I wasn't actually reading it (since talking &amp; reading was multitasking, and I couldn't multitask), but it made me seem more disinterested than I was.

Killua was in a class of his own. I've known him for a measly three days, and I've come to a conclusion already. He was the epitome of arrogance. I mean, look at him! He was leaning against the counter, turned away from me, sucking on yet another lollipop. He didn't have a care in the world.

I waited a bit more before replying, turning the page of my book on cue. Yesterday, I didn't lie to him because I thought that would be the last time I'd see him, and that would be the end of it. Nope. Instead, after telling him my normal shifts were in the evening, he stopped by today and asked me if I "could see yet". What does that even mean!?

"I just wanted a break from everything for awhile," I finally responded, a blatant lie. That wasn't the truth, or the full truth, anyways. I tried to get a job, but they said I lacked something important and that the exam was still ongoing. I tried to talk to Nuly about it, but she had no clue. Then I told Nuly that it was fine and that I wouldn't get work until she got her own License.

"Huh." He finished his lollipop, tossing it into the trash can on the other side of the room. It went in with ease, and I could've sworn I heard him whisper "Score". He tapped his fingers on the counter quietly. Maybe he knew it was a lie. Okay, he probably did. "Right."

Yeah, he knew it was a lie.

"You're not going to tell me the real reason?"

"That was the real reason."

"Liar."

I pouted, flipping another page of the book. In the corner of my eye, I could see him reaching out to grab one of the lollipops sticking out of the wall. He did that a lot. He ate more candy here than any other customer.

As if he could predict what I was going to say, he muttered, "Yeah yeah, I'm going to pay, I know."

It was silent as I deposited his money, the only other sound being the crinkling of the wrapper. He immediately dove into the lollipop, not hesitant to bite into it. I could hear the crunch from where I was sitting.

"You're kind of strange," I remarked, breaking the silence. I tried not to look at him, only the antique pages I was reading. Reading. Because I'd been reading for the last five pages, not just flipping pages when it felt necessary.

Killua pushed himself up onto the counter, legs hanging off the sides. The counter was tall enough that his legs didn't reach the floor. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"It's not a compliment. You and your friend are weird. What was his name- John? Won?"

"Gon," Killua hissed, probably giving me that blank stare again. "Well, thanks. I'm sure he'd be happy to know you think he's weird.

I rolled my eyes, thinking of yesterday's events.

...

_Before I could respond, the door was pushed open. A new boy stood there, finger pointing at the white haired boy in front of me._

_"Killua! I found you!"_

_White haired boy- presumably this Killua- turned around, slightly surprised to see the new boy. "Oh, that was quick."_

_What. In a matter of seconds, Killua returned to look at me. "We were playing hide and seek."_

_"Geez, Killua!" New Boy remarked, pouting. "What's the fun of finding you if I knew exactly where you were heading? This is your favorite candy store!"_

_"That's exactly why I came here!" barked Killua, attempted pout outshone by the touch of a smile. I cocked an eyebrow, glancing from both boys to my book. With a sigh, I turned the page. "Besides, Gon, why would you even check my favorite place? Don't you think I'd be smarter than that?"_

_Gon stared at Killua for a few more seconds, sticking his tongue out instead of favoring a reply. How old were these guys anyways?_

_I glanced to the clock, shutting my book. Standing, I walked to the door and held it open. "It's closing."_

_As they both left, I said the cheery repeated message I was always supposed to: "Thanks for coming! Please come again!"_

…

"How old are you guys? You both look older enough not to play hide and seek." I stared at him, watching as he continued to suck on the lollipop.

Killua took the stick out of his mouth, easily tossing it into the trashcan before getting yet another lollipop and biting into it again. By the time he turned to look at me, his lips were coated blue. "14. We're both 14."

"What!?" I stared harder, completely surprised. Then I notice the curl of his lips and realized that he was lying. Just lying. "Liar."

He merely shrugged and turned back away, watching the passersby through the window. "A lie for a lie sounds fair." Dang it.

This was the start of a relationship based on lies.

* * *

The weekend always left as fast as it came. Saturday and Sunday were the only days I didn't have to work at the candy shop.

So, like most weekends, I sat still on my bed, trying to come up with plans to do something. They nearly always fell through, as it wasn't rare for me to give up and go back to reading or something of the sort.

Just as I was about to settle for reading, the annoying buzz of my phone caught my attention. I reached out, my phone in plain sight for once, and quickly answered.

"Era!" Nuly didn't miss a beat, instantly talking by the time I answered. She continued talking, not giving me any time to greet her. "I'm heading into Yorknew later tonight! Wanna hang out?"

I stared at the phone. She was coming to Yorknew? "...What? You're-"

Not to my surprise or dismay, she cut me off, giggling. "Yeah! I probably should've told you sooner, but I didn't know it myself! Father has some business to take care of down there, and after begging him, he's letting me accompany! Isn't that great!?" Nuly had a loud, full laugh that made me want to smile. She always had a grin plastered on herself. My smile twitched, realizing that even when she failed the Hunter Exam, she continued to smile.

I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, sitting up. The bed squeaked under my weight. I hesitantly stood, nodding even though she couldn't see me. "Sure. Call me when you arrive?" She agreed, then we both said our farewells.

My apartment was always quiet when nobody was talking. Maybe I should get a pet; wouldn't that make the place seem less lonely?

Sighing, I walked past my desk. The corner of one of my favorite pictures was peaking out of a drawer, so I pulled it out. In it, my father was holding me up high, higher than his head. In his other arm was the small bundle known as my little brother.

Setting the picture where I found it, I stepped out of my room. Nuly was coming, so I better find some things for us to do, right?

* * *

"Green Light is that way," I directed a group of teenagers over to the infamous restaurant. They gave me haste thanks and scurried off. Huh. It must be pretty awesome to have befriended so many people. Nuly was the first friend I had in years. When I lived with my father and grandparents, we were isolated, surrounding by trees covering miles.

Stalking away, I continued to stare at my phone. It was getting late, yet Nuly hadn't called. Maybe I should head back home…? I already figured that we'd go to the bakery. She loved sweets. I could probably always buy her some candy from my workplace…

The familiar ringtone hit my ears. I quickly answered, stifling a yawn. "Nuly?"

"Hey, Era! Found 'ya!"

She hung up.

I stared at my phone in confusion for a few seconds before turning. There, Nuly was standing, giving me two thumbs up. She hadn't changed since I last saw her. Her violet hair was still short, just reaching her shoulders. She was still thin, yet in better condition than during the Exam. During the Exam, even the portion before it, she was frail. It was a surprise that she had made it as far as she had, especially for being a rookie.

"Nuly…!" I took the few steps towards her, instantly shaking her hand. She rolled her eyes, pulling me into a hug instead. When she pulled back, her eyes were shining.

"I have three hours before Father requested me to get back to the hotel! What do you wanna do first?"

…

Ten minutes later, we were headed towards the bakery. The large one in the center of the city closed early and was almost always packed when it was open, but this smaller one stayed open hours later. Fewer people went, the food was better, and nothing tasted processed. How good could it get?

We both ordered. Oh, right. It was also cheap. Paying for the both of us only cost me 800 Jenny.

Setting our orders down into one of the booths, she slid in the seat across from me. She eyed her muffin curiously, turning it over. "Why didn't you pay with your License?"

I stopped eating my muffin mid bite, dropping it back onto my napkin. "It doesn't work like that," I lied. Averting my gaze, I tried to search for a different topic.

Luckily, Nuly dropped it. The door chimes rang, signaling a new customer. My companion glanced over, eyes widening. "Era!" she hissed. "Hotties at 12'o'clock!"

I rotated around in my seat to see whatever she meant. She was like this during the Exam, too. There were countless of applicants that she ogled over, and one other applicant that particularly caught her eyes. He failed the exam during the same phase she did.

"Hey, Leorio, what are you getting?"

I returned to reality, mouth agape as I realized who had come. Glancing back at Nuly, she was staring at them with cocked eyebrows. I turned back. That was Won, Killua's friend! Then there was a taller guy who looked as if he could be Won's dad…? No, Won was too old.

On cue, Won moved out of the way, and Killua came into view. Hands behind his head, he spoke quietly to the cashier. She nodded and gave him a bag, probably his order.

Won and Not-Won's-Dad continued to chat, Killua remarking that he'd get them a table. He turned, causing my table to enter his line of vision.

His lips instantly curled up. I knew what he was going to ask. I just knew it, and he probably knew that I knew it as I turned away, pretending that he hadn't caught my eyes.

In a second, he hovered over my table, Nuly gasping. "Hey, can you see yet?" he asked, looking smug. Nuly looked to him, then back at me. Then at him, then me. I nodded solemnly. Yep. This was the guy.

He shrugged when I didn't respond and scooted into the booth behind ours. He was directly behind me, so if the booth chairs weren't in the way, we'd be back to back. I subconsciously listened to the crinkling of his paper bag as he opened it, taking something out. Trying to ignore his enormous presence, I tried speaking with Nuly again.

Her attention was littered to Killua and company, causing her to ignore my small talk completely. "Why didn't you tell me he was hot!?" Nuly pulled me forward, though her attempts at whispers were equivalent to a normal person talking. I stared at her blankly, removing her hand from my collar and taking a bite out of my muffin. She continued to eye me, waiting for a response.

The muffin was fresh and delicious, chocolate chips melting in my mouth. I had a second of heaven before responding. "I mean…" Unlike Nuly, I made sure that my whispers were whispers. "I didn't think it mattered."

She and I were different, and she knew it. Leaning back, an unidentifiable emotion clouding her eyes, she stared past me, either at Killua or his friends.

"Killua! Isn't that the girl?"

Feeling eyes prodding my back, Nuly looked back at me with a triumphant smirk. She felt victorious for a reason I was unsure of.

"Yeah, that's the girl." Killua's voice was muffled. He was probably talking with his mouth open. "The girl that can't see even though she's a Hunter."

I rotated in my seat, staring daggers in the back of Killua's head. Not-Won's-Dad snickered, Won himself blinking. The way he said it with a feeling I couldn't recognize made me feel small. "It's not nice to talk about someone behind their back." That sounded cooler in my head. Literal takes on metaphorical situations never really sounded cool verbally.

When I turned back around, Nuly looked fierce. Eyebrows pushed down, she stood up and pushed my arm up as well. "Era, won't you introduce me to your friends?"

Standing myself, I glared hard at Nuly, hoping to elicit some sort of emotion other than fierceness from her. I wasn't sure what she was so frustrated with, but for whatever it was, she wasn't giving up.

Persistence.

"Well, Era, won't you?" Killua cocked his eyebrows, smug smirk coating the lower half of his face. Won and Not-Won's-Dad both gazed at me, probably hoping for me to speak.

Reluctantly, I pointed an accusing finger to Killua. "He's Killua. This is _the guy_." '_The guy_' had no meaning behind it besides being the person I had told Nuly about the night before, but I wanted Killua to ponder it just as he made me ponder why I was the girl "_who couldn't see_".

"Yo." Killua gave Nuly a two-finger salute, smug expression only growing.

Next, I pointed at Won. "That's Won."

"Gon." Gon looked at me, slightly confused even after I had learned his name when he and Killua had entered the candy store. If only he knew that in the narration in my head, I continued to call him Won incidentally.

"Right. Gon." Moving my finger to Not-Won's-Dad, I peered blankly at him. "I have no idea who that is."

Not-Won's-Dad looked highly offended, but in a teasing manner. Killua waved his hands, introducing Not-Won's-Dad as a man named Leorio. I kind of wanted to ask what Leorio's relationship to them was, as he looked too young to be a casual friend yet too old to be an elder relative. I decided against it after deciding that casual talk with them would only make me more irritated than I already was.

I dropped my hand and pointed behind me using my other thumb. "This is Nuly. Nuly, let's go."

She looked between the four of us, probably understanding that I was getting irritated. Not that it mattered; This would be the last time we'd see them again, and Nuly should've known that. It was pointless to introduce her to people I barely knew.

Literally dragging Nuly behind me, the only sound I was able to comprehend was Nuly's too happy "It was a pleasure to meet you!", her voice ringing in my ears.

* * *

**Killua's POV**

After Era and her friend Julie had left, I resumed looking at Leorio and Gon. They both stared at me, the palms of Leorio's hands pressed together as he concentrated hard.

"How long has she been a Hunter?" Gon finally asked, stabbing his brownie with a fork.

"Around a month. It was obvious that she was new to the game." I eyed him as he, probably subconsciously, cut the brownie into squares. "She completely lacks experience. She wouldn't have become a Hunter during our exam. Maybe the examiners got soft."

Leorio let out a full laugh, shaking his hand. "I highly doubt that! Her guard was up the whole time here, didn't you notice?" He paused. Yes, I did notice. Who wouldn't? Stroking the stubble of his chin, he continued. "So, you're certain she can't see?"

The answer was obvious. "I'm certain. I highly doubt that she knows what Nen is." Rolling my eyes, I watched as Gon began eating his cut up brownies.

"Well, its only been a month!" he chimed in. "Besides, I'm sure she'll find a teacher in no time!"

I shook my head, staring ahead of our table. "No, but what I've gathered, she doesn't seem interested." Sure, I've only known her for a handful of days, but she was working at a freaking candy shop. "The only question is why."

Leorio shrugged before trying to come up with an explanation. "Is her friend a Hunter?"

Huh. Now that I thought of it, Julie seemed to be stronger than Era, even as frail as she looked. Did Julie know of Nen…?

Too many questions and possibilities to consider. Sighing, I leaned my head in my hands. We were making too many assumptions.

Regardless, Era herself had no knowledge of Nen whatsoever.

I smirked. She would in a few days.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Woo! This would've been finished and uploaded yesterday, but I ended up falling asleep at 5pm and waking up confused at 10pm. o_O**

**Trying to slowly increase the length of each chapter. Do you guys prefer lengthier chapters taking longer to update or shorter chapters with faster updates? **

**Just to be safe, Era thought Gon's name was "Won", hence the narration. She called Leorio "Not-Won's-Dad" in the narration as well. Killua may or may not have purposely called Nuly "Julie". **

**Thanks for reviewing!**

**-Ashe**


	3. Cold Fears

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I decided to take the suggestions and increase the length of these chapters. **

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e**

**l-i-a-r-s**

_3: Cold Fears_

* * *

When I was younger, it was common for me to spend days in my father's workshop.

I was convinced that he was magic. He was able to turn simple wrought iron and steel into anything: Chains, nails, armor, and more weapons than I could count. The smoke of the fire that filled my senses became second nature to me as I hovered behind him, watching every move he made. My father thought that Benny Delon, the famous serial killer and crafter of the Benz knives, may have been insane, but his designed weapons were crazy amazing. He had exclaimed, numerous times, that the way Delon drew inspiration for his work was morbid yet unique.

Staring at the picture in my hands of my father, brother, and I, I shook my head. I really should go visit them. Still, I would have to save up money for that… the trip would only take me so far since we lived in an isolated area, surrounded by miles and miles of trees.

My eyes hovered to my License, remembering how I could probably take the trip free of charge with this card.

That was scary. Closing my eyes, I wondered what exactly would happen if a criminal or delinquent happened to get ahold of one of these. My memory brought me back to the Hunter Exam where more than a handful of the applicants seemed creepy or evil in their own ways. Applicant 221, the man I had to defeat in the fourth phase, was especially creepy. He looked older than 20, but was a rookie. We began the match with him naming off his sadistic desires.

Cringing, I rolled over in my bed, carefully setting the picture onto the ground. Okay, this wasn't helping at all. It was early Sunday morning, my alarm clock flashing bright red numbers. 3am. I had woken up nearly an hour ago, and instead of being lulled back to sleep, the night made me reflect on every single thing that had happened in the past year.

Sighing, I decided not to take any more of this. Shrugging a jacket over my tank top and sweatpants on top of my shorts, I redid my ponytail before exiting the room, making sure to slip my License, keys, picture, and phone into the pocket of the jacket.

Everything was prettier at night was what I acknowledged after exiting my apartment. Especially in Yorknew. The moon reflected off the streets, making everything shine silver. I smiled in bliss. Maybe me not being able to fall asleep was a sign to come outside and just… relax for once. Both Nuly and my brother, in the time they met, had agreed that though I acted calm, I was completely paranoid. It was scary how accurate that was.

I hummed as I walked, remembering the time I wanted to be a Music Hunter. It was a spur of the moment thing after hearing the tunes of a Music Hunter, but even if I became one, I wouldn't have had my whole heart in it. Even now, I wasn't sure what kind of Hunter I wanted to be.

Arguing on the other side of the street caused me to stop in my tracks. Two, presumably male, adults were going at it against a third figure. They spat filthy words at the third figure, but the third figure didn't seem to be paying attention.

_Just turn away and keep walking. This doesn't concern you._ I agreed with my conscious, deciding not to be rash as I turned away.

The ear rattling scream was the only thing that caused me to turn around.

Eyes widening, I tried to contemplate what I had missed in the second I was turned away. One of the two males was lying on the ground, the other completely freaking out and placing the blame on the third figure. The third figure walked away, in my direction, as I heard him say one thing: "Don't worry. He's not dead."

With my mouth ajar, I spun on my heel, only thinking of how I might die. Sure, maybe the third figure hadn't killed either of the guys, but the growing pile of red liquid on the ground next to the injured man gave me doubts. Sure, maybe I was just a passerby, but what if me just being there provoked the third figure? Sure, the third figure seemed calm enough, but didn't that make it more dangerous?!

I was just about to hit _flight_ mode when I saw the familiar face, lollipop sticking out of his mouth.

He looked in a daze, white hair messier than before. He walked with ease, completely calm, hands tucked neatly in his pockets. The only thing off, if anything, was the stain of blood covering his right pocket. Wait, no. That wasn't his blood. That was the guy.. that he attacked. The stench of blood hit my nose and made me want to barf.

This was crazy. Okay. Let's add onto the list of things that Killua is: A psycho. A huge psycho.

"Era?"

Realizing I hadn't even moved my spot, I didn't realize how terrified I was until Killua was staring me hard in the face. He pulled out the lollipop, the end completely cleaned off.

"What are you doing here at this hour?" His voice was calm as if I hadn't just saw him cause an injury. Wait, did I? I gazed over to the area, but the only thing remaining was the thin pile of blood. Did the two guys leave? Yeah, that would be the best possible explanation. With a wound like that, it would be crazy not to get medical attention.

He must've followed my gaze, nodding. "Oh, that." Mouth curving up, he stared even harder at me. His eyes peered through me. "Scared?"

I stayed silent, but the look on my face gave me out. _Yes! I'm terrified!_

He snicked, shaking his head in the process. "Well that's dumb. I can tolerate you, unlike them."

_So you just deliver fatal wounds to the people who you can't tolerate?!_ I wanted to ask, but I kept it to myself. This wasn't my problem, and it would never be. Sure, it was ironic that we seemed to continue meeting up, but that was highly coincidental. Now, all I needed to do was head back to my apartment unscathed. Then I could fall asleep and convince myself in the morning that I was just dreaming.

"I need to head back," I finally breathed out, not realizing how I hadn't said anything up to this point. Killua looked disappointed, and he made an effort to show it. I gripped my hands tighter, thrusting them deeper in my pockets.

"Aw, come on," he droned, exaggerated pout trying to get my attention. "Why can't you stay out for a few more minutes?"

I only returned his blank stare. "Because I'd prefer to leave with all my blood intact."

Killua's own eyes widened for a split second before he burst into laughter. Irritated, one of my eyebrows twitched. With a turn, I began heading back to my apartment, Killua's laugh ringing in my ears.

* * *

Sunday passed, and Monday began.

I observed myself in the mirror, noting the dark circles under my eyes, the skin sucked in. They stood out a lot. Luckily, I wasn't as pale as Killua, which was a blessing. If Killua had dark circles, he would be a raccoon.

I continued to stare at my reflection, wondering why in the world I had so suddenly began thinking of Killua. Probably because it was indirectly his fault that I looked as tired as I did. Last night, I woke up at 3am again. I had thought about leaving my apartment once more, but the memory of early Sunday registered in my mind. I had felt a sudden fear of leaving my room, so I stayed in bed, trying to fall asleep.

It didn't work.

"Damn him," I mumbled, brows furrowed as I walked the three blocks to the shop. It wasn't raining too hard, but I held an umbrella above my head.

As I approached, I noticed someone already standing in front of the shop, hood pulled up so I couldn't see their face nor hair. Wait a second. Narrowing my eyes, I realized that they weren't just standing in front of the shop. They were holding the door open.

It was 10 minutes before we opened! Nobody should've been in there! I sped up, the puddles of water splashing around my feet. The hooded figure suddenly turned, almost making the door close.

I instantly saw the dilemma. Unless the key was inserted on the inside (which is what I was instructed to do everyday), the door would lock once it closed. The hooded figure must have known this and came with an accomplice who was probably inside the shop.

_Who even steals from candy shops!?_ The hooded figure stayed in his spot, standing his ground. I could only make out the downturn of his mouth as he barked a command to his accomplice. My doubts were erased.

Then something weird happened.

The hooded figure retreated into the store mere seconds before I arrived, peering through the glass windows. They were foggy, but I could still see through them.

Nobody was inside.

* * *

I was in a daze as I sat behind the counter, musing of what could have happened.

Sure, they could've left through the back door, but that would've been impossible. A key was needed to open and close the back door, and unlike the front, didn't lock without the key. Besides, the back door was locked tight when I went to check. On the escape, people don't make sure to lock up behind them. Plus, I would've seen them leave.

_Magic?_ The thought made me laugh. This wasn't magic. This wasn't anything close to the magic I believed my father had when he created new weapons. Still, I couldn't come up with any other logical explanation...

"Excuse me."

Maybe I was hallucinating?

"Excuse me."

Yeah, that could've happened! Besides, I was low on sleep, so maybe it was just paranoia-

"Excuse me!"

I blinked, my train of thought derailing. A teenage girl, hair tied back in two low pigtails, glared at me. It was hard to ignore her figure. She was voluptuous, her hips and chest wide. Accompanied with such a small waist, I felt a surge of jealousy. She must have known this; One side of her mouth curved up as she dumped a truckload of candy onto the table.

"5525 Jenny, right?"

Baffled, I began sorting out the candy, counting the prices as I went. Okay, nobody needed this much chocolate. Or this much cotton candy. Or this many lollipops. This was worse than Killua!

Once I nodded, the girl handed me her money. She gratefully took the bag of candy I held out, instantly leaving the room. She was pretty. She was really pretty.

Trying to shake the thoughts away, I sighed and stared around the shop. It was empty again. I returned to my thoughts, thinking of the girl, the robbery, Killua's attack…

On cue, Killua barged into the room, this time a yellow skateboard tucked underneath his arm. He glanced around the shop, took one of the lollipop bouquets, and set it on the counter. Huh, no chocolate today?

"Yo," he greeted, lips turned up. I wasn't afraid.

"I don't understand how you manage to eat so many sweets," I blandly responded. "They taste so… artificial. It's gross."

"I don't understand why you aren't on actual missions like _real_ Hunters," he retorted with an eye roll of his own. He leaned forward, both of his elbows on the table. "Your life is so… plain. It's boring."

I wanted to reply with something offending, but nothing came to mind. Instead, I stared hard at him, watching as he responded with an equally hard stare. I unclenched my fist, not realizing that I had clenched it in the first place. Okay. Maybe I was a bit on edge today.

"You have bags under your eyes. They're, like, purple." My fingers instantly went to my eyes, feeling how the area underneath them was sucked in. I felt terrible. I looked terrible. I wanted to pin the blame on Killua, but he would probably just make fun of me if I did that.

I blew out a breath, letting out a long sigh. "Long night."

"Oh, really?" He jumped onto the counter, his back facing me. Dropping the skateboard next to him- which successfully pushed my arm from where it was- he pulled out one of the lollipops he just bought. "How so?"

_Well, you attacking two random guys, me seeing the blood, me being terrified to fall asleep, someone breaking into a candy shop for whatever reason…_ There were a ton of reasons I could have check off, but I didn't say any of it. Instead, I continued our game of lies. "The neighbor's dog kept me up."

Then Killua turned around and was staring at me in the face so intently that I had to look away. "You're. A. Liar." He emphasized each syllable, sticking his tongue out at the end.

"Okay, I'm going to pretend that you only know that because you don't stalk me."

"One. It's obvious when you lie. Two. You just admitted it. Three. I don't stalk you." Killua's voice was calm, confident, and… arrogant.

"Yeah, right, obviously," I doubted, rolling my eyes. "One. It's not. Two. Did not. And three, so it's just coincidence that we always end up in the same place at the same time?"

"Man, calm yourself." He scoffed, rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time that day. His words were muffled by the lollipop. "For the record, on Sunday morning, _you_ ended up finding _me_ at 3am. Maybe you've been the stalker this whole time."

"Me?" I gawked at him, mouth agape. "Why would I be the stalker? I don't even _know_ you."

"Touche. Then why would I be stalking you? I don't believe I know you any better," he returned, victorious grin just beginning to erupt on his face. He thought he won this!

Throwing my hands up, I peered at him with creased brows. "I… I don't know! Maybe you have a strange fetish or something!"

"..."

"..."

"Is that even a thing?"

"I don't know." I fell forward, placing my head on the table. My comeback didn't even make sense. "Okay, you win. I admit defeat."

"Oh, was this a competition? I didn't realize." There it was again. His cocky attitude. He knew that he was being ridiculous, and he knew that it irked me. That was probably why he did it. Typical teenage boy.

I fiddled with my thumbs, gazing blankly at the counter in front of me. "...Would you ever steal from a candy shop?" I was well aware that my question came out of nowhere, but maybe I could get some sort of an answer from him? Wait… what if it was Killua that stole?!

Killua only raised an eyebrow, stifling a yawn. "What? No, of course not. It's freaking candy." He rolled his eyes at my doubtful glance. "Candy doesn't even cost that much. Anyways, thanks for the entertainment, Era. I'm heading out not. Don't stalk me, alright?"

He jumped off the counter, leaving the space feeling empty. Casually strolling towards the door, he raised a single hand to wave goodbye. I felt like an idiot for even thinking that he was the one who broke in. For once, I could tell that he wasn't lying.

Hand on the doorknob, he turned 180 degrees. "Oh, isn't there something you're supposed to say to customers before they leave?"

The smile on my face tugged at my lips subconsciously. "Thanks for coming! Please come again."

"Well, if you really want me to…" He laughed, the door shutting behind him.

* * *

"Ooh! I hear that there's going to be an arm wrestling tournament tonight in the plaza at 8! You wanna go?"

Attached to my wrist, I was pulled behind Nuly as she chattered on about the city events that would be happening during her stay. She seemed interested in challenges of mental and physical strength, though I was doubting her physical prowess due to her lanky figure.

"I don't think I have a choice, do I?" She only responded with a knowing grin before turning and dragging me behind.

It was near 9pm, so it was dark outside. Nuly was busy during the day, probably accompanying her father. She couldn't hang out on Sunday, either, but today was alright. Still… I was disappointed to find that the streets weren't as pretty as the last time I strolled through town. Then again, when that happened, I was strolling through alone, at 3am, because I couldn't get to sleep. Unlike the hundreds of people we were passing now, I had only encountered three people that night.

That night. I had nearly convinced myself that it was just all a dream, but I knew that I would never be able to force myself to believe that. Besides, Killua didn't even kill that guy… I think. Regardless, I had to keep my guard up around him. Even if he said that he could tolerate me. Even if I lowered my alertness today in the candy shop when we were firing retorts back and forth. Even if he seemed completely harmless. In the end, we were both liars, and we both knew it. How many substantial truths have I told him? How many substantial truths has he told me? I'd probably be able to count the total number of truths combined on both my hands.

I hadn't realized that I had stopped walking until Nuly tugged on my wrist, worry glazed over her face. "Era? You okay? You look kind of dazed."

Slowly moving my head for our gazes to meet, she only grew with concern. Has Nuly lied to me? In the end, isn't everyone really a liar…? _No. Stop that._ I bit down hard on my lower lip. This was getting out of hand. I was being paranoid again, and I knew it.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" I assured, shaking my head and giving her a smile. She either ignored or didn't notice my clenched fists to my relief.

She merely turned away and continued to chatter off to herself. I tried to listen, but nothing she was saying seemed to be of importance. Man, that was rude. Was I always this bad?

My eyes fluttered to Nuly's back. She really was skinny. Her features were sharp, especially her collarbone. Even as skinny as she was, I thought that she was pretty.

"Hey, where are we going?" I asked, and Nuly stopped walking to look at me.

Puzzled, she asked, "Weren't you listening? We're heading to the arm wrestling tournament." I only nodded, and that was when she probably realized that I hadn't been listening to her for the last few minutes. She probably thought it was strange and would've yelled at me in any other circumstance, but from my dazed attitude tonight, she didn't say anymore. "Well, I wanna see how we fare against everyone else! C'mon, it'll be fun!"

"Your definition of fun is much different than mine, Nuly."

She stuck her tongue out. "No, my mind is similar to a teenage girl's. Your version of fun is equivalent to my grandma's."

"Pfft! I just like reading. Is that such a problem?"

We continued to talk, but this time it wasn't one sided. I tried harder to respond to her statements with an equal amount of enthusiasm. Finally realizing that I wasn't going to get left behind or drift away, Nuly dropped her hand from my wrist, so we could walk side by side.

The arm wrestling arena wasn't even really an arena. It was the basement of a storage building, and the only reason we didn't get lost was due to the numerous signs and arrows that pointed to our destination.

"Ew, it stinks down here," Nuly commented, eyeing most of the other guys in the room. It was hard not to notice the scarceness of women here, and even more so, teens. The majority of the room included big, beefy men that were sizing us up. My instinct to flee kicked in, but Nuly quickly latched onto my wrist again and dragged me to a corner of the room. "Relax. This is an arm wrestling tournament!"

I was still having my doubts, but it was too late to leave. The room began to dim, and a young man stood up on the box in the middle of the room. He began by welcoming us before diving into rules.

"Each competitor will get a number! A tier tournament will be made." As he talked, another young man began handing out the numbers. I was number 29, and Nuly was number 30. The speaker looked around, noticing how everyone seemed to have their number. "Well! Let's head to the actual arena then, why don't we?"

Oh, so this storage area wasn't where the actual tournament was to take place. Nuly and I waited as the rest of the competitors filed out, us following along behind them.

That made sense. Since this was an actual tier tournament, late entries wouldn't be able to be added in. With all the signs pointing this way, late entries wouldn't be able to find the actual arena. It was actually pretty smart.

Not that the actual arena was too far, I noted. All the competitors filed into the basement of the building next door. At least it was nicer than the storage room basement, and the smell was tolerable. Multiple 'arenas' (meaning tables that were labeled with letters) were scattered around the room, chairs pulled out in the back to act as seats. I followed as Nuly chose a seat close to the arenas.

"The competition board has been completed. We have a total of 32 entrants. Please check the board in the back to see where you currently stand. We'll be beginning in a few minutes."

Everyone rushed to the back, but I restrained Nuly. "We'll check when it thins out."

After checking, I sighed in relief. I was facing number 25, more than half down the line. Nuly was a few matches before me, but we weren't anywhere near facing each other. Because of our late starts, we'd be able to gauge the strength of our opponents.

"Era?" I glanced up to notice Nuly hovering over me. "You look like you're concentrating really hard… Just relax. It's an arm wrestling tournament." I forced a smile. She was right.

"We'll now be starting!" the speaker announced. "Numbers 11 and 23, please go to Stage A. Numbers 2 and 4, please go to Stage B. Numbers 3 and 12, please go to Stage C. And numbers 24 and 31, head down to Stage D!"

The tournament had begun.

* * *

"I'll be fine, Era! Don't worry!"

I bit my lower lip, highly doubting that. The first four matches had been completed, so the next four were to come on any second. Numbers 11, 2, 12, and 24 had been the victors. They all shared the trait of being muscular, but not as buff as I thought everyone was originally. Nuly was right; I was getting paranoid. At least Nuly's opponent, number 15, wasn't that big.

"Wish me luck!" She jogged to Stage A, giving me two thumbs up as she went.

Observing from my seat, I noted the surrounding competitors setting up. Numbers 10 and 22 were in Stage B, both pretty buff. Gulping, realization hit me that if Nuly won, regardless of who won in Stage B, she would be facing one of the more muscular guys here.

"And… start!"

A second after the start, gasps erupted around the room. I temporarily lifted my gaze from Nuly's stage to Stage C. Already, number 13 had won, his opponent holding his own arm in pain. Number 13 held his hands up, his shoulders moving in such a way that he was laughing.

That spiky hair was too familiar.

Number 13 turned. I wasn't surprised by who it was. Won- Gon made eye contact with me for a split second, his smile growing even further. He sent a small wave my way, in which I returned. Wait. If Gon was here, did that mean Killua was, too…?

_SLAM!_

I shook the thoughts away, turning my attention back to Nuly's stage. By now, she was the only person left in a match, so all eyes were trained on her table after the uproar Gon caused had ended.

They looked equal in strength, both struggling. Sexist comments, seeing as women were scarce here, were thrown around the room.

"What, you can't even beat a girl at arm wrestling?!"

"Wow, two girls fighting it out!"

Nuly was just about to lose, her hand inches from the surface. The commentator was watching intently, and Number 15, her opponent, looked victorious.

Then I blinked and must've missed a lot lot because by the time I opened my eyes, the tables had turned, and Nuly was now winning, Number 15's hand an inch from hitting the table.

Cheers erupted in the room after Nuly secured her victory. I felt kind of bad for her opponent. With his loss, he was sure to be tormented, especially considering Nuly's petite size.

The commentator gave Nuly a pat on the back, Gon even running up to greet and congratulate her. She merely smiled before turning my way, ignoring the wave of compliments that she received. I gave her a thumbs up as she approached, her arms wrapping around my back in a hug.

"Nice job," I whispered. Sure, it may have only been the first round, but it was obvious that girls didn't often enter these kinds of tournaments here. The ogling of the guys only confirmed my suspicions.

"Thanks! You're up next, aren't you?"

Nodding, I gave a sheepish smile, knowing that I had to win my match as well. I was just about to respond when a certain spiky haired male came running up to us.

"Nuly! Era!" Gon greeted, instantly giving Nuly a high five. Sure, it was only arm wrestling, but he hadn't even broken a sweat… and wait, Gon won within the first second of starting.

I stared blankly at him as he began chatting with Nuly, an endless stream of thoughts clouding my mind. Did Gon's quick win not startle anyone else? Maybe I was overthinking things again. This was arm wrestling, so if one person had that much strength over another, it wouldn't be that surprising. Still, Gon just won an arm wrestling match against someone three times his size…

"Era!" Nuly punched my arm to bring me back to reality, peering intently at my face. "You're up in a minute!"

I blinked, both Nuly and Gon staring confused at me. "Right, right." I breathed out a sigh, cutting Nuly's speech off. "Is Killua here?"

Gon's smile twisted up even further. "Yeah! He's-"

This time, it was the commentator that cut off Gon. "The next four matches to the stages!"

"Yeah? Where is he?" I asked, curious beyond question. Gon only shook his head, gently pushing me to my stage. Nuly shoved me forward as well, raising her eyebrows while wearing a knowing smirk.

I ignored the comments thrown around me as I sat down, waiting for my opponent, Number 25, to arrive. We were at Stage D, farthest from the crowd of people.

"Hey! Don't lose!" That voice was too familiar. Turning, I wasn't surprised to just make out the white of Killua's hair before seeing his face. Holding a lollipop in one hand, he cupped his other one near his mouth. "I'll be _so_ disappointed if you do!"

I ignored him, facing forward again. Number 25 had just sat down, eyeing me with uncertainty. He was bulkier than Nuly's opponent, but nowhere near as muscular as Gon's. I could do this.

"I apologize. My pride is at stake here," he commented, setting his elbow on the table. I got into position as well, heart pounding more than it should have been as I waited for the start.

"And… start!"

Just like that, I was already the underdog, struggling not to lose. Number 25 was expressionless as he pushed for the win. I continued to struggle. It was wasted effort. In a few seconds, my hand had hit the surface of the table. It was a fast loss.

I lost.

"Number 25 wins against 29!"

Turning away, I tried to hide my disappointment with a small laugh. It was pathetic that Nuly had won, yet I lost. I was a Hunter who passed the exam. She hadn't passed.

I wanted to beat myself up for using that card. That didn't mean anything. Number 25 didn't looked like a Hunter either, but he still beat me with ease.

Standing, I gazed at where Killua was sitting. He was grinning, yet shook his head. "Tough luck!" he called out. Though I was disappointed, the smile creeped onto my face.

Killua jumped off his seat, approaching. The lollipop stick was prodding out of his mouth as he grinned my way, heading towards Stage B. Considering Gon's strength, I didn't question whether or not Killua would win. Something told me that he would.

Moments later, their round began, and Killua won against his opponent just as fast as Gon had.

* * *

**A/N: I'll try hitting 5000 words per chapter from now on (not including Author's Notes, ofc).  
What do you guys think Era's (and Nuly's owo) Nen types will be? ^^**

Please R &amp; R. :D

**-Ashe**


	4. Bitter Secrets

**Author's Note: So I finally drew a picture of Era and Nuly! You can go to Ree-chii on deviantart and be able to find it. I also linked it on my profile.**

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e  
l-i-a-r-s**

_4: Bitter Secrets_

* * *

"I can't believe you won, and more so I can't believe that the prize was only 10,000 Jenny."

Nuly rolled her eyes at my comment, still staring at the wad of Jenny in Gon's hands as he counted it up. It was actually pretty comical the way Killua had to correct his counting. Not that Gon was stupid or anything, just… confused. His forte was definitely fighting, not math. "10,000 Jenny is a lot, Era. Plus it was only an arm wrestling tournament, so you can't blame them."

I had never known that arm wrestling could be so intense. Nuly had lost her second match, and thank goodness that she did. If she didn't, she would've had to face Gon. Gon completely won without struggling against all but one of his opponents. Nuly laughed after her match, actually thanking the guy for beating her after he got creamed by Gon. The guy sent Nuly such a harsh glare that I even shrunk in my seat.

It didn't come to a surprise that Gon and Killua ended up in the finals. Comments from the crowd told me that they also expected it, then the crowd commenced to bet on who would win. Apparently a few years back, they had both entered. Gon had won that time, but for some reason, everyone thought Killua would win this time.

Except he didn't. Killua and Gon were locked in the match, Gon winning in the slightest. Then Killua "got bored" after being locked like that for more than a minute. Then Killua forfeited. Then Killua ignored the hate comments from the people who betted on him.

"Not like it mattered who won. We agreed on splitting the prize money either way, didn't we, Gon?" Killua was walking with his hands behind his back, glancing at Gon.

Gon nodded. "Yeah! What are you spending your prize money on, Killua?" His smile widened even further as he split the money into roughly equivalent sections, handing one half to Killua. "Though I have a feeling I know what you're going to say."

Killua let out a laugh, and I started laughing for no particular reason as well. Killua and Gon had a cute relationship. It struck me as strange how two guys so different could be so similar. Then again, Nuly and I were complete opposites. Still, they both looked like they strived for fun and strength. I was baffled by how strong they were, too. They were only older than me by less than a year, but their power was decades ahead of my own.

"Duh!" Arrogance peered at me. "Your shop open this late?"

I shook my head, instantly feeling in my jacket for my key. It wasn't there, but I didn't expect it to be. "No. You missed closing by two hours." Killua sent a scoff my way. Heh, I shouldn't have been surprised that he wanted to spend his prize money on candy.

My mind trailed back to the robbery, still confused as ever. It was a good thing I didn't have my key on me because I'd be tempted to open up shop just for him. As casual as he was, we had still only just met. I didn't trust him, and I didn't expect him to trust me. We were both liars, and we both knew it.

"Hey, Era, do you have work tomorrow?"

Nuly's question brought me out of my train of thought. Everyone peered at her. She looked disappointed when I nodded my head. "Why?"

"Well…" She stuffed her hands in her pockets, shrugging. "Father is going off alone tomorrow, so I'll be in Yorknew all alone. I just wanted to know if you wanted to go out?" She slowed down her pace causing the three of us to follow suit.

"I-"

Gon's voice cut through my words. He continued to gaze at Nuly, smiling as innocently as usual. "What does your father do, Nuly?" It was an innocent question, and I didn't blame Gon for asking.

Now that I thought about it, I _didn't_ know much about Nuly's personal life. She didn't know much about me, either, other than the few facts I had told her in the beginning. After the Exam, she never asked again, and I never found a reason to tell her anything more. Still, she had never spoken of her own personal life besides the surface facts. All I knew was that she was the oldest child of three, living with her parents. The way she bit her lip, averting our eyes, just made me more suspicious.

Either way, I wouldn't force her to say if she was that against telling us. I never really felt a reason to know, anyways. When I thought about it, I didn't know more about Gon nor Killua than Nuly.

And I was perfectly happy with that. The closer you get to someone, the more you understand. I held Nuly in a golden light at the moment. If she were to tell me something unsettling about herself, the light would dim, and I would regret asking. I was judgemental, and I knew it. I was happy with keeping my distance from her, from Killua, from Gon. I was happy with the way I viewed them. I didn't want that to change.

"You don't have to say," I commented, trying to keep a straight face. No. I wasn't curious.

Her lips turned up, and I knew she felt grateful. "It's not important, anyways," she covered.

How to make a conversation awkward 101. Gon only looked between the silent glances of Nuly and I, even whispering something to Killua. Killua responded with smacking Gon on the head, calling him stupid.

"Anyways…" I began, trying to ignore whatever was happening behind me. "It might be kind of boring, but why not come to my workplace? I get bored there. A lot. It would be a lot more fun with you around."

Nuly resumed smiling the smile I came to love. "Yeah! Of course! It won't be an issue?"

"Pfft. Of course not." I rolled my eyes. "There's only ever one employee in there at a time, and for the mornings, that's me." I thought back to how a few days ago when meeting Killua, I was still on the evening shifts. Molley, the girl that usually took the mornings, came down with some sort of illness. Me working the mornings benefitted everyone.

I paused in my step, quickly turning. Really, I needed to be more careful in my wording. As horrendous as it sounded, even though I knew Killua wasn't the candy thief, I was worried. He and Gon didn't seemed fazed by the news. Actually, they were still bickering about who knows what.

We were all strangers, weren't we?

Unable to avoid a grin, I turned forward again to walk beside Nuly. Everything was fine the way it was. Everything was perfect.

* * *

"Is this seriously all you do all day!?"

I looked up from my book. Nuly was literally sprawled out on the ground in front of the cotton candy barrels, arms stretched as she fiddled with the lid. She had peeled her boots off a long time ago, one placed in front of the door, and one hanging from the ceiling. It was painfully obvious how bored she was, obvious enough to attract attention from the other customers in the store.

I ignored her comment, though my grin gave my position away as I tried to decipher the amount of money a women needed to pay for her candy.

After handing the women her bag, she glared down at Nuly's form. "You should really do something about that!" she huffed, an accusing finger situated in Nuly's direction. I tried my best to look serious as I reassured her that I would take matters into my own hands. Nuly only pouted, beginning to flail on the floor.

Once she left, we exchanged simultaneous eye rolls. We were the only ones in the store now. This was the first and last time Nuly would be in here sprawled out like that, and it would be the last time in a while when she would be in Yorknew. She should be allowed to have fun, especially since she was stuck sitting here at my job.

"Oh, looks like you won't be bored any long." She followed my line of sight to the doors just as Killua and Gon barged in, Gon greeting us both.

Killua automatically came directly towards me and leaned forward on the counter. "The usual. We're sorta in a rush."

I deadpanned, sighing as I leaned back in my seat. "I don't know what your usual is. I've been your cashier like three times, and everytime, you've gotten something different." In the corner of my eyes, I could see Gon handing Nuly one of the bags of cotton candy that she had been reaching for. "And you have to pay for that too, by the way," I directed to them. Nuly stuck her tongue out throwing thw bag into Gon's face.

"Lame." Killua squatted down and grabbed a few things on the shelf under me. Three chocolate bars, one dark, one milk, and one white. Then he hurried and snagged a bag of cotton candy. Then he continued to pile things onto my shelf.

I picked through the array of candy and sweets, cringing at the sight of all the processed, sugary grossness that sat in front of me. "This is _disgusting_."

Killua merely pushed the grossness towards me. "It's your job to take my money, not criticize me." Unable to come up with a favorable comeback, I began to count what he owed. "Wait, no. Just take this." He shoved his Jenny towards me, impatiently tapping his fingers on the table. "You'll take too long to count. I owe 3000 Jenny."

My hand twitched. "Wow, complain much?" Regardless of what he said, I quickly skimmed over the candy just to make sure. Not that I thought he would lie in a circumstance like this, but it was employee protocol.

Killua watched as I fussed over the merchandise, purposely going slow just to tick him off.

Finally, when I handed him the bags, he spoke. "Still blind?"

"I still have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."

He didn't say anything more. "Gon, let's go." Without saying bye, Kilua began to head towards the door, two bags of grossness in his hands. Gon said his farewells, waving as the door shut behind them.

* * *

That night, I couldn't fall asleep.

For the umpteenth time, I glared at my alarm clock, noting how only 2 minutes had passed since I last looked at it. This may have been worse than waking up in the middle of the night like the last few days. My eyes were heavy, but my thoughts proved useless in helping me snooze.

As if they knew I was still up, my phone suddenly went off, the noise bouncing off the walls into my ears.

I struggled to get out of the comfort of my bed, flailing my arms around until my hand landed on the form of the phone. "Hello?" I answered, long yawn muffling my words.

"..." Heavy breathing could be heard on the other end. Okay… not creepy at all. It was probably a dumb telemarketer or something. Right. They always seemed to get my numbers. Last December, someone called and claimed that the Hunter's Association was watching me to get me to buy security.

Hanging up, I dropped the phone onto the floor next to the bed. I had two choices. One, stay in bed and will myself to fall asleep (unlikely). Two, get out of bed and go outside. Both options sounded dreadful, but I was leaning more towards the second one. Besides, what was I scared of? Seeing Killua killing someone again? I highly doubted that would happen again. It were mere chance that we had encountered one another the first time.

I pulled socks over my bare feet, going agonizingly slow. Regardless of what I told myself, there was that nerve wracking fear in the back of my mind telling me not to go out. Not that I wanted to in the first place. If my first choice was better, I would've stayed, but I obviously wasn't falling asleep anytime soon. I could only hope that being outside for a bit would lull me to sleep when I returned.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Surprisingly, the bags under my eyes weren't as dark as before… or maybe I was getting used to the sight? My hair was let down, spilling around me in piles of dark green locks.

Shivering, I pulled a second jacket over my first. Stalling.

After exiting my apartment, locking it behind me, it was hard not to notice how eerily quiet the atmosphere was. All the fear of whatever unknown entity I was afraid was going to pop up vanished. Nuly was right. I had been too paranoid recently. I was overthinking everything.

I shrugged off my top jacket, realizing that it wasn't even remotely cold. There was a slight breeze. Besides the fact that it pushed my hair every which way, I dare say that it felt nice outside.

Though it did strike me as odd that I hadn't encountered _anyone_ even though it was only 10pm, I shook the negative thoughts off. Too paranoid.

As I approached one of the many parks Yorknew had, a different feeling entirely began to bubble up inside me as I realized that I was nearing the form of another person. They were sitting, alone, on one of the swings, not bothering to push themselves off the ground.

For some reason, I thought it was Killua. He seemed to pop up wherever I went and vice versa, but the golden locks that this figure had caused me to change my mind. It was a boy, and it wasn't hard to tell that he looked completely lonely. Torn, perhaps.

My instinct to flee kicked in, but reluctantly. I didn't want to just run away again, wouldn't that just prove how paranoid I was? If I ran, then I would've lost the battle against myself.

Luckily, I didn't have to make my mind up myself. Instead, the figure looked up, eyes flashing red before they faded into a normal color. My heart jumped. I was spotted.

"You're up late," the figure remarked, voice just loud enough that I could hear. It wasn't a voice that I recognized, and the intense scarlet of their eyes scared me. I hesitantly came closer. The boy was fairly young, no more than 5 or 6 years older than I. He was leaning forward, legs stretched out onto the area in front of him.

I shrugged. It was late and I was probably out of it, but I responded regardless. "It's only 10. I'm surprised that the rest of Yorknew is sleeping."

For some reason, the figure laughed, but it sounded sad. "You're right." He didn't look up as I sat in the swing farthest from him, pushing myself off the ground. Strangely enough, I didn't feel fear. It was a casual conversation with a stranger. "Would you… care if I talked to you?"

I shook my head, not completely aware of what he meant, but going along with it anyways. "Go ahead."

Even though he asked if he could speak, the boy stayed silent, eyes closed and palms pressed together in deep concentration. I continued to swing, pushing myself off the ground each time as I waited for him to speak. The swing squeaked every time I passed through my initial point.

Up. Down. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up-

"Do you think the night is frightening?"

I dug the heel of my shoe into the ground when he spoke, peering at him. He was still in the same position as before, the only difference being that his eyes were now half lidded. He looked like he was in a daze, eyes glossed over. Like he wanted to cry but wouldn't allow himself. He was attractive in a strange way. Almost like a prince.

I took my time in responding as I thought his question over. It was painfully obvious how much it connected to my current situation, but there was no way he could have known that. "I think that everyone and everything can be frightful at some point," I admitted, flustered as to realize that I just admitted that I was paranoid, "...but the night alone isn't."

The boy tilted his head in what I assumed to be a nod. "Good answer."

"Do you?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you find the night to be scary?"

Up. Down. Up. Down.

"No," he finally replied. "If anything, the day is scarier since it's unpredictable."

I ceased my swinging, contemplating his words. "I get you. It's natural to feel safe during the day, so when that natural reaction is thrown off with something, like a robbery or attack, it throws off that natural feeling." Tapping my lower lips, I furrowed my brows. I wasn't scared of the night. I was scared of what I saw Killua doing since it changed how I viewed him. "But an attack or robbery at night is… normal. Does that even make sense?"

The tinge of a smile on his face told me that it did. "Yes, it does, in a confusing way."

It was a good idea I came out here, but now I was actually getting tired. "I should head back." Jumping off my swing, the boy also stood. I'm not sure why, but the way my swing was moving compared to the stillness of his struck me. "...And you should, too."

"You're right." He looked down, opening his mouth once before closing it. His face softened, and it didn't seem like he had the need to cry anymore. "I hope we meet again…"

"Era," I cut in. "My name's Era."

"Well, Era." He sent me another one of those lonesome smiles. "It was a pleasure." Just as he had turned around, he whispered two more words: "I'm Kurapika."

When I had gotten home, I was right. I fell onto my bed, collapsing into a heap of sweet dreams. Of lies and truths, of friends and foes, of the past and present.

It was the best slumber I'd had in weeks.

* * *

Wednesday morning, I was surprised at my reflection.

The bags under my eyes were still there, but just barely noticeable. I felt a lot better than recently. My skin was even… glowing.

Okay, exaggeration. But still, it didn't change the fact that I felt and looked better. With a blissful sigh, I pulled my locks into a high ponytail after tossing on the uniform shirt.

As I headed out, I realized that lots of things had happened in the past week. I had met Killua, witnessed an injury, witnessed a robbery, hung out with a close friend. I had entered an arm wrestling tournament, realized my weakness, and had a heart-to-heart with a stranger.

With my thoughts to occupy myself, my shift flew by.

* * *

"Do you know the next time you'll be back?"

"Well, if I die, I told my dad to have the funeral here, so." Nuly grinned at her comment, twisting a violet lock around her finger. She was just about to leave my company, and I wasn't sure when she'd be back. From what I knew, her father's job took him all over. That narrowed a lot of things down as what he could be. I ceased my thoughts about it. Nuly didn't want me, or anyone for that matter, to know, so thinking about it until I came to a conclusion would be almost like… betraying her.

"Oh, hah." I shoved her gently, fiddling with the strap of my bag. She obviously wasn't sure when she would return, and I wasn't sure how long I would even be in Yorknew. "Then…"

"Don't say goodbye," she quickly cut in, staring down. I watched as her hand balled up into a fist. The atmosphere changed. "Don't say it. I'm not sure how long a goodbye means."

She was being so… serious. An empty feeling gnawed the back of my heart, something unsettling washing over me. Her words lacked the jolly, carefree tone that I had gotten used to. She sounded forlorn, the look on her face matching her words. It was actually pretty frightening seeing her like that.

"Then I won't. I won't say anything," I promised. Her mouth curved up, eyes meeting my arm as she held out her arms to embrace me. "I was never too good at saying goodbyes, anyways." It was a short hug, and in a matter of moments, she was gone.

Her retreating figure headed into her building. She didn't say anymore, didn't wave, didn't turn.

I regretted not saying farewell.

* * *

_From: (xxx) xxx-xxxx  
__Huh. julie gone?_

The ringtone of my phone broke cut through the silence I was currently engulfed in. My apartment seemed quieter than before after Nuly left, so a sudden text message from an unknown number was a surprise.

Though the unknown number probably wasn't even someone I didn't know. Aided with the fact that nobody but one person I could think of would call Nuly "Julie" due to my own mistake of his best friend's name, it was obviously Killua.

Well, I didn't have to respond.

_From: (xxx) xxx-xxxx_  
_I know what youre doing omfg_

Nope. Still not responding.

_From: (xxx) xxx-xxxx  
__How annoyed would you get if I text spammed you? lalalalalallalalalala_

...How did he even get my number in the first place?

_From: (xxx) xxx-xxxx  
__Uuuugh, give me a discount for candy_

Maybe I should just turn my phone off.

_From: (xxx) xxx-xxxx  
__look outside_

He was obviously just trying to psyche me out.

_From: (xxx) xxx-xxxx  
__DID YOU LOOK OUTSIDE  
__IT'S IMPORTANT_

Okay, since Killua could obviously see me (note sarcasm), I decided to humor him. With an exaggerated sigh, I stood up and lugged myself to the window, half expecting to see him doing something insane.

Nope. Everything was normal.

_To: (xxx) xxx-xxxx  
__Go away._

The screen flashed white, awaiting for my next command.

_[WOULD YOU LIKE TO ADD (xxx) xxx-xxxx AS A CONTACT?]_

I hovered over 'no' to reject it, but the incoming text from Killua changed my mind.

_[Yes, add contact]_

_From: Killuarrogance_  
_lol you responded_

Ugh! That little… he really was just trying to get a response from me! Ignoring his text, I shut my phone and jammed it into my pocket. Well, hah. Joke's on him. I'm not responding. I was more worried over the fact of how he got my phone number in the first place…

Against my instincts, I pulled my phone out only to see 8 new messages. I skimmed them over, but nothing of interest caught my eyes. It was mainly him complaining and making fun of me.

_To: Killuarrogance  
__Meet me in front of the candy shop._

My heart fluttered in excited as soon as I hit send. Now that I had a way to contact him, I had a way to get answers. I wasn't sure what made me so daring. Maybe it was the fact that Nuly left? The conversation I had with Kurapika? Either way, there was something I'd been wanting to know.

_From: Killuarrogance_  
_Already there._

* * *

It was easy to spot Killua. He looked extremely bored, lollipop jutting out of his mouth as he leaned against the candy shop. Probably hearing me approaching, he turned, only giving a two finger salute as a greeting. He wore a white vest, muscular arms exposed. His hair looked combed, yet messy if that was possible. I almost made a comment about the violet of his pants, but decided against it. He'd be able to respond with something equally offending since my own shirt was the same shade.

"It's not like you to make the demands," he remarked after I stood directly in front of him. "Isn't the guy supposed to make the first move?"

"...Okay, I'm going to pretend that you didn't just say that. Anyways, I just came out here to ask something."

"And what would that be? Don't tell me! You're professing your love! As awesome as I may be, I've only known you for a week, so-"

Ugh, maybe this was a bad idea. I should've expected his attitude, but his confidence shot up to new levels when we were alone.

"No," I interceded, eyes narrowing. "I want to know what exactly I'm not able to see."

Killua scoffed, obviously disappointed with my request. "That's lame. Don't tell me I came all the way out here to answer that." He paused, looking thoughtful for a few moments. I averted my eyes from his arms, trying to focus on the brick wall beside him instead. "Which, by the way, I'm not going to answer."

How was I supposed to respond to that?

"Why?"

"You'll have to find it out on your own. You can't see anything next to me, can you?"

My eyes flickered to where he was pointing, but I could only see the wall of the shop. Was he pulling a prank on me?

"..."

"Exactly. It's too early, so I would suggest that you just-"

"You know, don't you?"

"Know what?"

"Know that when I tried to get a job- my first job as a Hunter- they said I was missing something important." I lowered my gaze, slowly connecting everything.

He probably looked smug right now. "Bingo."

Raising my eyes, his own emeralds bore into my own. There was something in the slight tug of his lips and the inner meaning of his stare that made me feel helpless. I felt like an idiot in his presence. He knew all along.

"BUT before you jump to any conclusions, this isn't some conspiracy against you. Don't over think it. The world doesn't revolve around you. Every Hunter has to go through this. Me and Gon did, too." His features softened as he waited for me to reply.

If only I knew what to say. I knew that he was a Hunter, and since he was, Gon had to be, too. It was never a topic that I had asked about, but it was obvious.

I tugged at the fabric of my shirt, gradually feeling hotter. "I think it's comical that you knew that I was about to overthink it."

"Was I wrong?"

"No. That's why it's funny." I tried to make the situation lighter, trying to understand as I pieced everything together. Should I be more assertive? "But seriously. Tell me what I'm missing. What I can't see."

He gave a measly shake of his head. "No way. If I do that, then you'll demand more, and it'll escalate. Can't you be patient?"

That wasn't what I expected him to say. I stared at him harder, mouth and brows curving down. "...Please?"

"No."

"Pleeeeaaasseeee?"

His mouth twitched as he took out the lollipop stick and tossed it into a nearly trashcan. It went in easily. "You're sacrificing a lot of your dignity right now, aren't you? I commend your efforts."

"You seriously won't tell me?"

"Glad we're on the same page." He focused on the sidewalk as I hardened my gaze. "Just wait a few more days. Then you'll know."

"So you'll tell me?"

"In a few days. That was my plan all along."

"..."

"What?"

"Couldn't you have just said that in the first place?" I pouted, trying to calm myself. He was so, so irritating, and he knew it. He only looked smug as he shook his head, claiming that there was no fun in that.

Muffling his yawn, Killua turned to me. "There's a reason you're in the dark. It's the same reason the public's in the dark, too. There's a reason you don't know, and NO, I'm not going to explain."

Everything felt still as I listened. Countless people walked past us, making me feel smaller than I had felt before. I was being arrogant, taking Killua's own role.

"Okay," I finally announced. "Okay."

This was anticlimactic.

* * *

**Author's Notes: It's been a week in story since Kilua and Era met! 3 This was a difficult chapter to write. It introduces Era's true fear of getting close to anyone solely for the reason that if she gets close, she might change her mind about the person.  
**

**Originally, in the park scene, she was supposed to find Killua there, but I wanted to develop her relationship with other people as well. In lots of fanfictions, I've noticed that it's the main character developing something with Killua/Gon/Kurapika/Leorio etc, but is isolated to everyone else. I want Era to break down her own walls and befriend everyone else, too.**

**Oh! And the romance in this story won't be going agonizingly slow, but it won't go super fast either. Expect some fluff next chapter though. C:**


	5. Tart Tales

**Author's Notes: This was such a fun chapter to write. :D Hope you guys like it as well!  
AnonymouslyFab: Oh, you don't have to worry about Era turning out to be a Specialist! The idea passed over me, but then I know that concepts like that are usually overused. I actually picked out her Nen type a long time ago (using Hisoka's method ;D).**

**OH, and for all you lovely people out there, reviewer kouhas has drawn such a wonderful picture of Nuly! ;w; It's linked in my profile. You should all definitely check it out because it captures Nuly perfect. :D**

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e  
****l-i-a-r-s**

_5: Tart Tales_

* * *

"Now look at me. What do you see?"

"Um. You have white hair, kind of like you're old. You're awkwardly pale-"

"You're really bad at this," Killua deadpanned.

Minutes ago, we had met in front of the candy shop after my shift ended. In the few days that Killua told me to wait for his explanation, seconds ticked by slowly. Ever since Nuly's departure, even though she wasn't here long, life seemed to go by slower. We hadn't been in contact at all either- my texts failed to go through and my calls led me to a robotic voice that would repeat: "We apologize. The number you are trying to reach is out of service or disconnected. Please dial XXX and press X for further assistance."

It was almost like she had fallen off the world. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried, but it's more likely that she's out of service.

Today- Friday- proved to be colder than the days before. I wasn't too sure why Killua and I were outside in the park (which turned out to be the same park I met Kurapika in, nostalgically), but my face was slowly freezing off. He sat on the mulch in front of me as I leaned forward on the swingset, twisting the fabric of my jacket around a finger. When we had gotten to the park and taken our positions, he had asked that question of what I could see from him.

I replied with an equally dead stare, but he wasn't looking. He was staring straight up to the musky blue sky. "What else do you want me to say?" Our voices were quiet. It seemed appropriate.

His expression stayed blank, eyes still trained on the sky. "No, no. That'll work. I can't believe you think I look old and awkward though."

Maybe in another situation, he would have responded with something witty, but this time, he didn't. I leaned back in my swing, trying to find what he found so interesting up above. Maybe he liked the color? The sky was a strange gradient, going from a baby blue to a light gray.

"I could lie and say that I don't think you are."

"Lame."

We sat in silence for a bit more. I was eager to hear what he had to say, but similar to Kurapika, I knew that pushing him would benefit neither of us. It was lucky that I had even gotten Killua out here. He could have easily stood up and said that he was bored, tired, or just didn't want to deal with me.

Which I would understand. I was getting annoyed with myself recently, too.

Then Killua stood up, gesturing to the area around him. "We humans-" He paused at his own words, eyes glossing over with something I didn't recognize. "Or, no… okay, um. Lots of people and things have life energy called aura. Aura is needed, to, uh, live. Survive."

I wasn't sure where he was going with this, so I merely nodded. "Oookay?"

He looked frustrated with his words. "Ugh, I'm not too sure how to explain this to someone like you. No offense."

"None taken?" I questioned, though his words were pretty offending.

He looked thoughtful with his fingers brushing against his chin, brows furrowed down. Intense concentration. I could've sworn that he was trying to figure out how to word or explain something.

"Anyways, the controlling and manipulation of aura is known as… Nen. People like me- pro hunters- can do this. Nen is what you're missing. People like me can see aura, but people like you can't. The general public is vaguely unknowledgeable about the topic of Nen. It's a dangerous concept."

"Why's that?"

Killua peered at me as if I asked something dumb. Was my question that dumb?

"Aura is _life energy_." I probably still looked confused. Arrogance sighed, shrugging as he held two fingers up. I suddenly felt a warm, prickly sensation come over me. I didn't try to hold back my surprise. It was soft, like a restless fluid washing over me. The feeling faded after Killua closed his hand into a fist.

Nen. This is what I'd been missing.

* * *

_"Meditate every day when you have time. Do it when you get home. 5 minutes."_

Easier said than done. I sat on my bed, breathing deeply as I tried to follow his guidelines. It was hardly helpful. I could hear all the small things: The slight creaking of my mattress, the bark of the dogs outside, the crying of a baby a few rooms over. Yorknew was a city that never slept. There was too much going on, too much to hear and see. Meditating in this kind of environment would be impossible.

I relaxed from my position and fell back, legs hanging off the side of the bed. Maybe it was a mistake to learn about Nen. I had told Nuly, against her desires, that I would wait until she became a Hunter to start obtaining jobs. Sure, this wasn't _technically_ a job, but it was the precursor. Same thing. She didn't want me to wait though. It was fear that held me back, and I knew it. I was okay with being fearful. There was too much I didn't understand.

My hand lingered over my phone. It had nearly been 2 minutes, but this wasn't going anywhere.

I should call Killua.

That actually sounded dreadful. It would be a blow to my pride, and he'd be sure to tease me about how I couldn't even relax enough to meditate. Then again, I had taken numerous blows to my pride from him already.

The screen of my phone lit up. I was smart enough to finally change the setting from "ringtone" to "silence" just in case it went off during the meditation. Turns out that it was useless, seeing as I couldn't meditate in the slightest.

_From: Killuarrogance  
__hows it going?_

_To: Killuarrogance  
__Good. It's going fantastic_

I didn't think twice as I hit send, just grateful to be away from meditation. Ironically, meditating only made me more anxious.

_From: Killuarrogance  
__You fail. if it really was going 'fantastic' you wouldnt have responded_

It was insane that Killua was smart. Ugh, I should've thought it through and just not responded in the first place. I guess I didn't technically have to respond to this message either, but that would be the equivalent of running away.

_From: Killuarrogance  
__Park_

Technically, I didn't reply since he sent another text before I could. He was calling me to the park to lecture, yell, or help. Maybe all three. I didn't have to show up, but I figured the consequences would be much worse if I didn't.

I slid my phone into my pocket and a jacket over my arms. It was probably still just as cold as it was this morning.

Leaving my apartment, I noted that I was correct. It had gotten colder, if that was even possible. I longed for that feeling of warmth that Killua had shown me. Would I be able to do that, too? Controlling my own aura?

Gon must've known Nen, too. It was difficult to tell who was stronger. From my point, I felt like Gon had more raw strength, but Killua was better in tactics. Or was it the other way around? Regardless, they evened each other out. It was a good pair.

Killua held a hand up as I approached. "Hey, does Gon know Nen, too?" I asked, though I knew the answer.

He scoffed, nodding. "His Nen is insane. Anyways, you can't meditate?"

I shouldn't have been surprised that he brought the conversation back right away. Sighing, I gave a small nod. He shook his head, fake disappointment covering his features as he led me next to a tree.

"Sit."

I obliged.

"Close your eyes."

I closed them.

"Block out everything."

Okay, this part was harder. I could make out the footsteps from far away, the slight chirping of the birds. The laugh of children, the bells. My left brow twitched, and I wasn't sure how I was supposed to ignore the ever growing presence of the city around me.

He probably realized that this was the part where I was having trouble. I could feel Killua's figure scooting me forward as he sat behind me. "This is supposed to help relieve you of stress, not the other way around," he whispered, his breath heavy on my neck. "Relax."

His presence only made it harder. My shoulders tensed, but only until he ran his fingers along my shoulder blades and made them go down to their normal position. It was still cold, but with my focus on my breath and his presence behind me, it didn't seem as bad.

"You know," Killua breathed, making it harder to focus, "Meditation is supposed to help you focus, make you happier, and improve your memory…" His fingers were just barely there; They were just barely brushing my shoulders, moving down my arms and to my fingertips. Chills ran down my body. It was a combination of bliss, annoyance, and another feeling that I couldn't pinpoint. "Follow your breath. Focus on that instead of your surroundings."

I took a deep breath, trying to do as he said. "You're making this harder."

"I know." His voice was soft.

He kept his palms situated on my back, barely touching me. Slowly, I began to relax. I dropped my head, eyes still closed as I focused. Don't contemplate the background noise. Don't worry about Killua.

"Do you… feel calm?" His voice was just below a whisper, quiet enough that only I could hear. His fingers ran over the fabric of my jacket, up to the base of my neck. "It's been two minutes."

"Yes." Has it only been a handful of minutes like he said? It felt like longer, but maybe that was just because of Killua situated behind me. Like he said, I focused on my breath. Deep breath. In, then out. Focus on it leaving. _Don't focus on how Killua's touching you._

I tensed for another second when I felt him scooting me closer. He did the same thing; Running his figures over my shoulder blades, my shoulders cascading down to their original position. "Actually… I think I'm making it easier for you."

_Ignore him._ That was a lie. It was actually getting harder to focus on myself to ignore him.

I could feel Killua's presence scooting away, and in seconds, he was gone. He was enormous, leaving a giant gap behind be. Opening my eyes, my face turned up to look at him.

"Don't freak out!" he warned, squatting in the area in front of me. He stared with an intent gaze. "But I'm not going to teach you actual Nen until you're calmer."

Wait, what?

"See," he continued, giving an exaggerated sigh, "You're really paranoid. And I'm not completely sure how to teach it at the moment, I mean when did _I_ become a _teacher?_ Sure, I'd probably be better than Gon, but-"

"You're ranting." Maybe it was the meditation, but I wasn't freaking out. This was okay, though. I never seemed paranoid around others unless they got to know me. Blinking, I wondered if I was closer to Nuly and Gon and Killua than I had originally planned for.

Killua just sighed again, falling onto his back. "Yeah. Well, the meditation isn't completely useless. Gon and I did something similar when we were twelve."

"...You guys learned Nen when you were… twelve?"

He gave that sly, arrogant smile that I hadn't seen in days. "We passed the Hunter Exam when we were twelve. Or… I would've, but then I killed a guy, and… it's complicated."

Dumbfounded and mouth open, I just continued to stare in disbelief. When they were _twelve_, Gon passed the exam, and Killua killed a guy. Fantastic. I'm 17 and passed after three tries, which was still a bit unbelievable. But for them to have… I mentally slapped myself. Don't overthink it.

"But you ended up getting your License, right?"

"Duh! I ended up wiping everyone out the next year. I was the only one to pass the First Phase, soo I won." He looked so cheeky, so smug right now. It made my accomplishment feel small in comparison. "Would it be bad if I mentioned that there were around 1500 applicants?"

"You're so cocky that it's disgusting."

He laughed and stuck his tongue out as me. "As if! What about you? How'd you end up passing?"

I put the palms of my hands together, chin rested on my fingers. "I wouldn't have passed without Nuly. I'm 17, right? I first entered when I was 15, then 16. Failed both times." Killua watched me, staying silent as I talked. "The first phase was a puzzle. A string of riddles. Nuly's smarter than she looks. We teamed up and made it past that phase. The number of applicants dropped from 500 to 300." My eyes closed. "Honestly, she could've made it without me." She was too nice, willing to help me out even though we both knew that there was a possibility of us becoming enemies in the later stages.

Brows furrowed, Killua spoke in a monotone voice. "And then?" It sounded more like a statement then a question.

"Phase two happened. Random partners were assigned. A group of three vs a group of three. I guess I was able to hold out my own. I'm not too strong, but I guess I was agile enough to dodge." I paused, reminiscing on the memory. "One person from each trio passed depending on their performance. I guess it was impressive that I got out unscatched, though it was mainly me just trying to run away." Flashbacks of the phase, of my life flashing before my eyes as one of my opponents tried thrusting his lance into my side, me just barely dodging it, hit me hard. "I don't think the examiners realized that I was just scared."

"You're lame, you know that?"

"Not any lamer than you." I ceased speaking, but Killua waved for me to continue. "Well, so there were around 100 applicants left, right? I was one. Nuly was one. Phase three was a game of hide and seek. Like two preteens were the examiners. Crazy, right? Well, we went by aircraft to this dense forest where we had to stay hidden for two hours. There were around 20 people searching for us. If we were found, we would be disqualified. Nuly helped me there, too."

I remember Nuly latching onto my wrist, rushing me to the lake. I remember telling her how there was no way I'd be able to do that since holding my breath would be impossible for 2 hours. I remember her reassuring me that it would be fine. We hid in the lake, though it was closer to mud than water. The thick leaves of a fallen tree had covered us, and when we heard someone approaching, we would fall deeper into the water. The mud became our skin, our hair, our clothes. We completed the phase successfully, mud coating every part of our bodies.

"It was… so muddy. We were the dirtiest ones to succeed, but we did. Surprisingly, there were around 40ish applicants left. It was less than expected."

Killua's eyes were trained on me, nodding or saying "uh huh" as I recalled my Hunter Exam. Our positions had shifted in such a way that we were shoulder to shoulder, but similar to the meditation, we were both just barely brushing up against one another. It was casual, like how close you'd think two friends would be.

"Then… then came Phase 4. This time, we had individual matches against one another. I prayed that I wouldn't have to face Nuly, and luckily, my prayers were answered. I ended up having to fight a rookie. He was a young adult, somewhere in his 20s." I shivered, remembering the look on his face. "He was creepy beyond belief. I remember the time before the fight. He began by naming off things he wanted to do to me- sadistic things."

Killua scoffed, nudging me with his arm. "Do you know Johness the Dissector?"

"Who doesn't? Isn't he dead?"

"I had to kill him when I was 12 during one of the phases." His comment answered my question.

I pulled my legs up, wrapping my arms around them as I set my chin on my knees. "Killing must come natural to you." My reply was neither a compliment nor an insult, but it definitely wasn't something I'd be proud of. Killua's tight smile was unreadable.

The breeze picked up. I held my hair down, tucking it into my hood so it wouldn't hit Killua. Killua just continued to stare ahead at something that I couldn't see. At something that probably wasn't there.

Then he spoke.

"You know, I'm one of the Zoldycks."

My breath hitched. I turned to look at him, surprised to see his eyes meet mine. I automatically shut them and buried my head into my knees. It wasn't that surprising. After everything I'd seen, after everything he'd said, it didn't come as a shock that he was part of the famous, ruthless assassin family.

"You know, it would be more surprising if you weren't a Zoldyck," I admitted, turning my head up to look at him after a few thoughtful moments. His features weren't clear, eyes saying something I didn't understand.

"You should be scared."

Fear was one of the strongest emotions. It could stop you in your tracks, make you a fool. It could cause you to cry tears you didn't know you had, make you want to die ten times over. It could be your greatest enemy and your greatest ally. It was possible to be there without your realization.

I knew for a fact that fear was my largest demotivator. I've fallen victim to fear more times than I should have. I've gotten paranoid. I've been a coward.

But if there was one thing I knew, it was that I wasn't afraid of Killua.

My shoulders were hunched as I let out a breath I didn't realize I was keeping in. I should have been scared. Killua killed at least two people during the Hunter Exam, injured someone in the night, and killed an infinite more number of people because of his trade.

The night that I couldn't sleep flashed through my mind- the night when I saw him attacking the man. He knew I was there, but kept his calm. I was terrified that night, and he knew it. He even reassured me. The only thing scary about that scenario was that it was only a handful of days ago. How could fear change, morphing into something similar to respect, in a matter of days?

"Hey, don't overthink it!" He whacked the back of my head. It was also scary how accurate that was. I often kept my thoughts to myself, then Killua came and barged in on them. "Continue." I only kept staring at him. "Continue with the Exam!"

"Okay, okay, geez!" Sighing, I ran a hand through my locks as I tried to figure out where I had left off. "Right. Um, the individual fights. Applicant 221, my opponent. I mean, he had to have been somewhat strong to have made it to that phase. He wasn't. The examiners provided us the most grotesque weapons they could get ahold of. To win, we had to kill the other person, make them give up, or do enough damage until the examiners thought we'd done enough. The battle wasn't over until the examiner said so, so it was a complete blood bath."

"Sounds morbid," Killua commented. "Guts and blood everywhere?"

"Oh yeah. It was sick."

Killua scoffed, throwing his head back. "I can't exactly see you being the kind to brutally murder someone. How'd you win?"

I hung my head, trying to come up with the right words. "See… that's the issue. I'm not sure how I won. I had barely scratched him when the examiner said 'that's enough' and declared me as the winner."

"Maybe you did more damage than you thought?"

I shook my head. "No… all I remember is feeling so… so angry towards him. In the trio matches, he completely tore up his allies and enemies the same. And I guess the way he was describing me, as if I would just let him rip me apart, angered me, which was strange. I know I'm weak. He basically called me weak, and usually it wouldn't have been a problem, but I… I don't know."

"Huh." He tapped his lower lip, free hand subconsciously picking at the grass. "At least you won though, right?"

"...That was when Nuly lost."

"So?"

"It wasn't fair! She was the only reason I had made it that fair. Even with the blood pouring down her chin, she didn't admit defeat. I was watching her match, and she could've won. She should've. But then the examiner made the call, and she lost. The way she lost was too simple." The next part was the worst. "I… I remember her turning towards me, smile still intact on her face. She told me she was sorry for not making it. Shouldn't I have been the one that was sorry?"

Killua stayed silent as he traced swirls into the grass. I held onto myself tightly, not sure of why I was exposing how I felt during that time. I wasn't sure why I had been telling the truth the whole time, and it was a strange feeling to let it out.

Then again, I could've lied about it. I could've lied about everything, and I could've made myself seem like less of a coward. But it was too late, and now Killua knew how I wasn't meant to have passed.

"Continue."

"What?"

"With the exam. What happened in the next phase?"

It surprised me that he still wanted to know the tale of how I managed to become a Hunter. I didn't deserve the License. I hadn't completed the trial by myself. I had just been tagging along behind Nuly.

"Stop thinking and talk, woman!"

"Okay, okay!" That was one way to force me out of my thoughts. I searched through my memories for the next phase. "Well, the next one was easy. I think everyone had enough gore and blood to last a lifetime, so… we had to do something similar to the first phase. We got a lot of information and were told to memorize it. Then the examiner played out certain scenarios, and we had to just give correct information and stuff. Fighting was minimal. 14 applicants passed, and I was one of them. We became Hunters. The end."

Except it wasn't, and we both knew it. I slid onto the ground, staring up at the sky, unsure of what to say. Killua was in the same position with his hands clasped together.

He joined me, sliding onto his back. "Examiners are Pro Hunters." I knew that. "If they called you the victor, then you did something right. Or maybe your opponent just did something wrong. Do you beat yourself up about this a lot?" He could tell.

"No," I lied. We simultaneously turned to face one another, Killua just shaking his head. "Okay, maybe?"

"Well that's dumb. Don't do it. And stop worrying about Nuly not passing. She was a rookie, anyways. She'll pass for sure next year."

"I know, but…"

"No. No buts. It gets annoying."

I smiled inwardly, staring at the ground in front of me. Killua could be cruel and brusque, but in a good way. It didn't make much sense, but nothing seemed to make any sense as of late. When days ago, I would've been scared to be this close to him, I felt safer than ever.

Slowly, I lifted my gaze. "You're a big softie."

"W-What?!" Mouth curved down, eyes wide, Killua was the definition of flustered. It was actually pretty funny how fast he lost his composure.

I laughed at his reaction, nudging him with my elbow. "You just became super lame."

His eyes narrowing, he 'pffted' and turned away. "Of all people, _you_ can't say that."

These were the moments I wish I could reminisce on.

* * *

I continued to wake up in the middle of the night. Instead of leaving the comfort of my room, I decided to relax. Overthinking was bad.

Meditating was easier in the dead of the night. Few noises were distracting, and for the ones that were, I heeded Killua's words and focused on myself and my breathing. In and out. In and out. Killua was convinced that I couldn't be taught Nen without being able to remain in a state of calm. He stated that aura and emotions were directly linked, so I would be saving myself a lot of trouble by working on calming my nerves now instead of later.

He was right. It helped a lot, and I found myself falling to sleep quicker after waking up. Sometimes I would be meditating in bed, and the next thing I knew, I'd be asleep.

Work became easier, too. The last hour of my shift when customers rarely appeared, I was able to pinpoint my nerves and soothe them.

More than once, Killua caught me in this state.

Saturday night, he had texted me, but I didn't reply until Sunday morning. I had been practicing what he told me to, then fell into a deep slumber. It was one of the few times that I didn't wake up in the middle of the night.

Then during Monday, after switching back to my evening shift, he had caught me with my forehead resting on the counter in front of me, arms situated in my lap. Apparently a customer had been trying to get my attention for a few minutes, but I didn't move. From Killua's perspective, it went like this:

_"You were like sleeping during work. And the nerdy guy with the glasses that usually comes in was poking you and worried. I told him I'd take care of it, so I checked him out and took his money. Since you know, a dumbbell could do your job."_

Then I had woken up long after closing, Killua's head resting on my own head. I wasn't sure how he got the idea of my skull being a _pillow_, but it was nearly an hour after 9pm when I awoke. I pulled my head back, Killua's own head landing on the counter with a _thud_.

I may or may not have left him there. He got out for certain though, the evidence being the angry string of texts I received a few hours later.

So on Tuesday, I made sure to stay on alert.

Fewer customers passed through than usual. The voluptuous girl, the nerdy guy, and only a handful more actually bought anything.

Then the door opened, and two familiar faces popped in.

"Oh, Killua and Gon were right. She _does_ work here." Kurapika eyed me from afar, scanning over the merchandise on the various shelves. "This doesn't look like your kind of job, Era."

Wait a second. Did this mean that Kurapika knew Gon and Killua? The thought had never crossed my mind. What were the chances of that actually happening?

I hadn't seen Kurapika in about a week during my visit to the park. I owed him a lot for that conversation because it… opened my eyes in a way. "Nice to see you again, too, Kurapika."

My eyes flittered over to the older guy wearing a nice suit, briefcase in one hand as he vigorously rubbed his chin in search of something he was looking for. "May I help you, sir?"

Not-Gon's-Dad (as lack for a better term and since I forgot his actual name) turned, making a ridiculous face. "Sir sounds too formal! Seeing as you've been stealing the attention of two of my best friends, why not just call me by name?"

Cue frown. I looked between Not-Gon's-Dad and Kurapika, trying to come up with a response. What was I supposed to say? Sorry, but I don't remember your name?

Kurapika sighed, nudging me as he whispered something in my ear. "His name's Leorio."

I gave a nod to Kurapika, my sign of thanks. Leorio was still staring at me, waiting for an answer. "O-Oh, yeah! Of course, Le..orio…?"

Leorio nodded to himself, walking forward to the counter. Kurapika leaned against it as well, his back facing me. "So, what all has Killua taught you about Nen?"

Did they both come in just to ask that? Okay, they definitely were both connected to my arrogant friend.

"Um, the basics." It came out sounding like a question.

Kurapika opened his eyes to look at me. "So I take it that you know Ten?"

"Ten?"

Leorio shook his head and stared at his companion. "Killua's been taking it slow. I'm impressed that he hasn't just shot her with his own aura."

I had no idea what was going on.

"Well, it's about time for closing," I fibbed, even though I was supposed to leave the shop open for another 10 minutes. Both of them just stared at me, Leorio shrugging as he dumped a bar onto the counter.

"Mind checking this out for me first?"

* * *

**Author's Notes: Wow, there's a scene next chapter that I'm suuuper excited to write! I almost put it at the end of this chapter, but I wasn't sure how long it would be. The Killua/Era scene in this chapter was also something I was looking forward to, and it ended up taking a majority of the chapter.**

**There's a poll on my profile regarding this story and who'd you like to see in it.  
**

**Please vote and review. C: Thanks for everything, guys. I'm having a blast writing this. I hope one day to have a SYOH, probably for Era's Exam (before all this happens).**


	6. Bittersweet

**Author's Note: Late chapter is late. This was the hardest chapter to write yet, so I'm sorry at how long it took me to update.**

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e  
l-i-a-r-s  
**

_6: Bittersweet_

* * *

I'm not sure how it happened, but Killua and his posse were sitting on the floor of my workplace, huddled in a corner, playing cards.

"Gon, do you have any fours?"

"Go fish, Leorio!" Gon cackled, laughing as Leorio drew a card from the center. Killua nonchalantly eyed Leorio's cards from his spot, earning an eye roll from me.

"Killua's cheating," I commented as I took money from a customer. It was the same boy that had found me in a state of meditation days ago, leaving Killua to check him out instead. The boy pushed his glasses up, giving me a small smile. "Thanks for coming! Please come again!" I chimed.

"I'm glad you're doing well, by the way," he remarked, pushing his glasses back up higher on his nose bridge. Nodding, he didn't say anything more as he left.

Leorio gasped, scooting as far from Killua as he could. Pouting, Killua shot me a glare. "Really? You didn't have to say that!"

I gestured to the pile of candy wrappers that littered around him. He had been sucking on lollipops, binging on chocolate bars, and popping candy drops into his mouth for the past hour. "I'm not on your side until you clean that up _and_ pay for them."

He merely scoffed, Kurapika shaking his head as the game continued.

This was a foreign event to me. Because of my upbringing, isolated with only my family, the idea of having this many friends was strange. My parents had friends who visited on occasion with their children, but calling them friends would be a stretch. None of them were my age; I was always years older or younger. I suppose that there was one boy named Kion who would be closest to being my friend, but I hadn't seen him in years. Kion also wanted to be a Hunter… I wonder how he was doing.

I glanced over to the game. Gon was laughing hysterically, and I could tell he was winning by the pile of cards in front of him. Kurapika had his eyes closed, snickering at the eldest member. Leorio was freaking out, giving Killua (who _still_ hadn't picked up the wrappers or payed for them!) a chance to peak. As if he knew I'd see, he turned to my direction, giving a cocky smile as he placed a finger over his lips.

Sighing, I looked elsewhere, eyes trained on the window. It's not like Killua had any chance of winning. Gon was in the lead by far, Kurapika in second. He was winning against Leorio, not that that was an accomplishment. I gave him the benefit and kept quiet.

"Ahahah! I win!" Gon shrieked to Leorio's dismay. The latter of the two groaned, rolling onto his back.

Maybe it was an exaggeration to say that Leorio was a friend. I had only just memorized his name. Regardless, this was the first time a friend of my friend hung around, I guess. Same thing. Still, I was happy that he was here. Killua acted differently around all of them than around me, but that was to be expected. He had probably known them for years longer than he had known me. After all, it's only been two weeks since we first met. In days, we became friends. That encounter helped me in more ways than I could say.

"Nice job, Gon." I sent him a thumbs up, tossing him one of the candy bars in the bin besides me. "It's on the house."

"Really?" Gon turned to me, smiling widely. "Thanks, Era!"

He was such a pure, innocent person... like Nuly. I wondered what was behind that smile; What he really had endured in the past. He was so strong. He and Killua had to have gotten that power somewhere. As for Leorio and Kurapika, I wasn't completely sure. Kurapika seemed to have power as well, but I wasn't as certain about Leorio. Since they were all friends, it wouldn't be surprising if they all ended up having ten times my strength.

Killua was sending me some sort of glare as Kurapika spoke. "Well, it's getting late. Leorio and I have to head out and deal with the... preparations for next week." He paused, features softening for a second. Blinking, when he reopened his eyes, he returned to normal. "We'll see you around."

The door shut, leaving me, Gon, and Killua in silence. Something I didn't understand crossed over both their faces as they stared at the door. I didn't know what the 'preparations' were, but everyone else did. It wasn't my business.

Gon returned to normal faster than Killua. "Ne, Era? How come you work here?"

It was a question that I got a lot. Compared to Nuly and Killua, I didn't like the processed, sugary grossness of sweets. The same way a vegetarian wouldn't work at a butcher shop, it must've looked strange for me to work here.

"I know I hate sweets and all, but… Well, it was hiring, and I needed a job." It was a half-truth.

"Because you couldn't get a job as a Hunter, right?" Gon had a sheepish smile, Killua's smirk slowly growing.

"You told them!?"

Killua just shrugged, finally picking up the individual wrappers that littered the floor. Gon stood up, leaning against the counter as he shook his head.

"I didn't. I told them that you didn't know Nen, which they basically figured out themselves. And it's common knowledge that Hunters can't get jobs without knowing it." He looked smug as he balled the wrappers into balls, tossing them into the trash one at a time. They each went in without an issue.

Without a response, I sighed and turned my attention to Gon. He was sucking on the candy that I had tossed him, glancing between Killua and I. Now that I looked closer, it was hard not to notice that they were both… fairly attractive, similar to Kurapika. Not that I hadn't noticed before, but up close it was blatantly obvious.

Killua had fallen back to the floor, arms and legs stretched out. His eyes were closed, making him look peaceful. He was wearing one of his vests, so his arms were exposed.

"Era, you're staring," Gon whispered, nudging me with his elbow.

Flustered and embarrassed for being caught, I quickly averted my gaze. Awkward.

"Hey, Gon, mind stepping out for a few minutes?" Killua's emeralds stared directly at Gon. Gon nodded, tossing his trash where it belonged, before heading to the door. "There's chocolate on your face, by the way!"

The door shut.

Still on his back, Killua tilted his head up to face me. "Come here."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Gon was peering inside from the window. Eyes trained on him, I slowly leaned down, hands held out. "First, pay up. And pay for Gon's candy bar, too, since you're irritating." Okay, so it was on Killua, not the house.

Killua pffted and jammed his hand into his pocket, pouting as he retrieved a fair amount of Jenny. I caught it before it slammed into my face. "Keep the change," he muttered, "since I'll be taking more than this, anyways."

Sighing, I was about to stand to deposit it into the register, but Killua tugged on my wrist, keeping me from moving far. I cocked an eyebrow at him, but his expression remained unchanged.

"What-"

Taking advantage of my speech, he took the opportunity to shove a piece of chocolate into my mouth. Alarmed, I tried to spit it out, but he held a hand over my mouth to keep it in.

"Do you know how to eat? Chew and swallow. Wait, do you know how to do that? Should I demonstrate?" I only continued to glare. It made me feel dumb as I actually did chew and swallow it.

Ugh, he was so smug! It was probably a strange sight. One of Killua's hands were wrapped around my wrist, pulling me a foot above his head. His head was tilted to the side, his other hand covering my mouth. Then there I was, looking alarmed as I ate the chocolate he forced into me.

After confirming that I ate it all, I scooted back and glared hard at him. "What was-"

He cut me off. "Was it good?"

"What?"

"The chocolate?"

"I…" Gulping, I trained my eyes on the shelves besides him. My mouth still tasted bittersweet. "That was dark chocolate. It doesn't count."

"Oh, you could tell?" Of course I could tell. Dark chocolate was the only thing sweet that I could tolerate, and it wasn't even that sweet. He grinned, arms stretching the wrapper as he read the label. "90% dark chocolate. What's in the other 10 percent?"

Gon was still eyeing us from the window. I held out a hand to gesture him in, pretty disappointed that Killua only wanted to shove a piece of candy into my mouth. I was expecting some sort of "You're ready!". Maybe it was dumb to expect him to teach me Nen that quickly.

Killua stood up once Gon entered. At once, they both exited, Gon being the only one to say goodbye.

One single candy wrapper littered where Killua was sitting moments earlier.

* * *

I wasn't too sure of my actions as of late.

For instance, right now I sat on the park bench, legs pulled up as I watched several kids run across the playground. It was an intense game of tag. When the person who was 'it' called "Timeout", the other children merely slowed, yet didn't come to complete stops. Though 'it' promised that they actually were on "Timeout", the remainder of the children kept their distance.

Glancing at my phone, the silence of it felt foreign. I kind of missed when Killua bombarded my phone with spam, as ironic as it sounded. Nuly, too, but she was currently MIA in my mind.

Tag resumed on the playground. One girl screeched as the finger of 'it' grazed her shoulder. 'It' claimed that he had gotten her fair and square, but the girl defended that he hadn't.

Maybe I should call my father.

The girl ran away to the swings, yelling that she wasn't it. The remainder of the kids told her to stop being a baby and just be 'it'. The game of tag resumed with one person less.

Or my brother.

My fingers hovered over my brother's icon, wondering what he was doing at this very moment. He wanted to be a Hunter, too, but he never once tried to enter the Exam. He was scrawny and felt that he didn't have the physical prowess to pass, especially after the stories I told him of how I shouldn't have made it though. Regardless, he and Nuly were similar in stature. I didn't doubt that with training, he'd be able to make it, but what meaning did my words hold? I wasn't supposed to become a Hunter- without Nuly, of course.

Flashbacks of Killua teaching me to meditate, on him assuring me that it wasn't my fault that Nuly hadn't passed, clouded my mind. It felt like yesterday that he told me this, but in reality, it had been almost a week. And still, every time I asked if I was calm enough, he shook his head and made me promise to wait a few days.

Glancing back up at the children, I noted that the girl who had lingered by the swings had returned, but they had stopped playing tag. Now, they sat in a circle, one of them walking around the circumference as they talked.

Hesitantly, I hit a button on my phone and brought it up to my ear. It rang twice before a lazy voice on the other end droned a quick greeting.

"Darin." I paused. He made a noise. "Hey."

My brother stayed quiet for a few seconds before responding. "E-Era?"

"Hey," I repeated.

"Hi."

An awkward silence commenced. Gosh, was everyone in my family like this? Darin and I, even though we were siblings, rarely had casual conversation. My family was one that was independent of one another. After we both passed the age of 8, dinner became whatever you could make or scavenge from the pantry. Dinner for me was usually sitting on the floor of my room, laptop in hand, as I ate a bowl of oatmeal. Maybe an apple. The bottom line is that our family lacked the engaging social event of dinner.

Mom was never home, always on missions. She was a Contract Hunter, and as such, was less of a motherly figure and more of a figure with a name. Somehow, she was still my inspiration, helping me train whenever needed. Dad usually ate in his workshop, which is what I did for a while too before realizing that I started ingesting smoke with every meal. My grandparents never left their beds unless I begged them to help me train. They weren't bedridden, but they 'never had the energy to get up' (direct quote), even though they were both Hunters.

Now that I thought about it, Darin usually ate at the kitchen table at the normal time that families were supposed to eat dinner. He would sit there, nothing occupying his time except his low quality meal, like he was waiting for one of us to come and eat with him. He always gave the invitation, but none of us took it.

"I… I've gotta go," he finally announced. Noises on the other end, the clanking of something hitting the floor. "It was nice talking to you." It was anything but.

Maybe that was why it was this awkward right now. I could've been closer to my brother, but I wasn't. I wasn't startled as he hung up, neither of us saying goodbye. I wouldn't categorize my family as messed up, or broken; We were still a family, just different. We were just independent of the needs, the wants, and the desires of each other.

And I was okay with that.

* * *

When Saturday came, it was raining hard.

I ran as fast as my legs would take me, breathing heavily as the rain continued to pound down on me. My clothes were soaked through, my hair stuck to my face and the back of my neck, and my breath was thinning, but I didn't care.

I must've looked mad, especially since I didn't have an umbrella with me.

But it only took one word to get me excited and run at full speed.

_From: Killuarrogance_  
_Park._

Or maybe it was the second word that caught me off guard.

_From: Killuarrogance_  
_Now._

I liked how he didn't have to specify which park out of the ton that occupied Yorknew. There was the one park close to my work that we had met in a number of times; The same one where he helped me meditate. I tried convincing myself that it was the humid rain that made my cheeks flush.

And when I approached, Killua was standing there, his back turned to me like he knew which direction I'd be coming from. I ran faster, pushing my feet harder off the ground as he slowly turned to face me.

My thoughts were simple: Killua was going to teach me Nen. After a week of meditating, I was about to learn what I was lacking. I would be able to feel that warm, prickly sensation that Killua had caused to pass over me, but this time, I'd be able to do it myself. Just knowing about Nen and how I was one of the few who knew what Nen was made me feel… special.

But when Killua turned to face me, my steps slowed. He wore a simple black v-neck, sleeves pushed up around his elbows. Plain white pants and combat boots adorned his lower half. His hair stuck to his face, but for some reason, it didn't look off. What looked off to me was his expression. It was a mix of fear, relief, frustration, and… anger?

"Era." His voice was calm, and something about it striked me as odd. Just as I was about to greet him in response, he shook his head, making me go silent. "I can't teach you Nen."

Silence. I continued to stare at him, not really grasping what he was saying. "What…"

"I can't teach you Nen," he repeated, sighing louder than needed.

"What."

"I. Can't. Teach. You. Nen."

"What."

And then what he was saying hit me. He hadn't called me out here to raise my hopes up of finally learning Nen. He had called me out here to crush those hopes (okay, slightly exaggerating here, but).

I pushed my hair back over my shoulders, the water suddenly feeling as if it was weighing me down. I wasn't going to learn Nen. Oh.

"That's kind of disappointing," I remarked, shrugging. "It's not like I was totally looking forward to it or anything. Nope." He looked like he was about to speak, so I spoke first. "I mean, no big deal. No worries. I'll just go back to working at the candy shop, waiting for Nuly to pass her Exam. I can wait a year. That's okay, too."

No. Don't let him speak. I cut him off again.

"Like, that's what was supposed to happen, right? I wasn't even supposed to pass the exam, so why should I learn Nen? It's like me and Nuly have this unspoken agreement. I'm not getting any jobs until she passes, and this is like the prerequisite. Wouldn't I just, like, hate myself for learning Nen if I followed through?"

I was never sure how to act in these situations.

"So, it's okay. I don't want to hate myself any more, so-"

"Shut up." Catching onto what I was doing, Killua easily cut off my ranting by speaking louder than I had. He glared hard at me, seemingly angry. I was already quiet, but he repeated it. "Shut up."

Ignored. "No, no, seriously. It's fine. I'm not angry, I just-"

"Era. Shut up for a second."

Ignored. "No, no, I mean it! Learning Nen seemed fun and all, yeah, but-"

"Era. Shut up before I make you."

Ignored. I was making him angry, and I knew it. I continued to disobey his commands, not caring if I made him angrier. Someone had to be angry in this situation. Better him than me.

"Well, if this is all, then I'd best be on my way!" I let out the robotic laugh, turning on my heel to head in the opposite direction. I wasn't sure what possessed me to say the next line, but I did, and it only made Killua even angrier. "Thanks for coming! Please come again!"

And when I began walking, strangely feeling alone, I knew I was home free when Killua didn't follow. I didn't have to turn around to know that he was standing in that same spot, watching my back as I retreated. I didn't realize how furious I was until my hands started shaking as I neared my apartment.

"You're passive-aggressive, huh?" Even though I had completely tricked myself into believing that Killua hadn't followed me, it didn't come as a surprise to see him leaning against the wall of the building next to my apartment. His eyes were locked on my figure as I maneuvered around him, entering the building.

I waved to one of my neighbors, ignoring their curious stare at the stalker behind me. Killua was following me, so he's now a stalker. I wasn't sure why I continued walking to my apartment, basically showing him where I lived.

Once I stood in front of my apartment door, key in hand, I turned to face him.

"Really, it's okay." I was sincere, but I forced myself not to look at him. "I'm just going to go inside and… meditate. Or sleep. Same difference."

Then I unlocked the door, sliding myself in. Killua jammed his foot in the doorway, pushing against my weight as I tried to keep him out. "Seriously, Killu-ah, what are you-!?" Grunting, I fell back onto the floor after Killua pushed with more force. He let himself into the room, shutting the door behind him.

His eyes moved from my figure to the contents around my room. "Your apartment is just as lame as I predicted it would be."

Ignoring the comment, I helped myself up, throwing my belongings onto my bed. I observed my face in the mirror, twisting my hair to wring the water out. Killua's reflection staring back at me made me return to the situation at hand.

Just as I was about to command Killua to get out, he fell back onto my bed, arms spread out over my blankets, pillows, and belongings.

"You know, my bed is the only comfy place to sleep in this apartment. The floors are too hard, and the couch is too soft. Move." I tried to keep my voice steady, raising a finger to point at the door. "Get out."

Killua only rolled over as he faked a yawn. _He was getting water all over my bed._ "No."

"Killua, I'm serious." I stayed in the same spot, still pointing at the door and glaring harder at his back. "Get out."

"No."

"Get out."

"No."

"I'll call security!" I threatened, finger still locked on the door. At this, Killua rolled back over before sitting up, shaking his hair out to wring out the water.

He stood up, leaving behind a giant damp area on my bed covers. Well, looks like that wasn't going to dry for a bit. Then he took a step forward, and in rhythm, I moved backwards. He went forward again. Repeat.

Realizing that I was in a bad position, I broke out of the stare down and headed towards my mirror again. I slid the hairdryer out of the drawer it was hidden in, plugging it into the wall. With this, I could drown out his speech _and_ dry my hair. Two in one.

But before I could, he spoke again, making me drop the dryer onto the desk.

"Is that an empty threat, Era? Or a flat out lie?" From the mirror, he was still standing in the same spot, shoulders hunched forward as he stared at the wall. At the place I used to be. Turning, our eyes met in the mirror. "You're angry."

I gripped the edge of the desk, turning down to break the gaze. "I'm not angry. I'm just…"

"Furious. Don't worry, I get that." He paused, thinking something over. It was quiet until he spoke again. "Yell at me."

Did he just… ask me to yell at him? Eyes wide, I turned slowly to face him, not surprised to see him looking bored. He gave an exaggerated sigh, groaning as he pushed his soaking bangs to the side. "Come on, Era. I don't have all day. Yell at me."

I looked as confused as I felt. "Yell at you? Why in the world would-"

"Because you're angry with me."

"I told you, I'm not angry."

"Really? Then how do you feel right now?"

I gazed to the mirror, watching my reflection instead of Killua. I hated how silent it was when nobody spoke. "I feel fine. Kind of tired, but fine."

"Oh, we're still lying to each other? I thought we were past that." Judging from the tone of his voice, I assumed that he was smug. "Stop being lame."

"But I'm not angry."

I heard him groan again, and looking up, I saw him march over, staring hard down at me. "You are such a bad liar that it's disgusting."

I didn't say anything else. Instead, I plugged in the dryer with shaking hands, turning the heat and intensity to the highest level that they could. Ignoring his words, I went as far as turning the dryer on, drowning out Killua, his groans, and his anger as he slammed the door shut behind him.

Funny how he ended up being the one that was angry in the end.

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the lateness and length of the chapter (it's about 1K shorter than intended), but I felt like this would be a good ending spot. I got pretty bummed when I realized that the part I was excited to write just wouldn't fit in this chapter. **

**Anyways, I hope that this chapter answers a few things, like why Era's the way she is. Her family may be seen as completely dysfunctional, but she's perfectly fine with the independent bonds that the members have- just as she's perfectly fine with not getting too close with anyone. But man, it's a certain kind of hard to write Era fully frustrated. Passive-aggressive people are just challenges in general, but I don't think she would've just lashed out at him. **

**Reviews always appreciated! Poll's still open on my page as well. I'll hopefully update quicker next chapter!**


	7. Right Recipe

**Author's Note: Another terribly difficult chapter to write.  
eimyahj16: Thanks for all the reviews! A smile stuck to my face as I read them all.  
Guest: Oh man. You have no idea how much that means to me. ;w;  
SakuraPetals13: Thanks! Don't worry. The romance's coming, I promise. C:  
TheAnonymous: Thank you, and I think we're all Killua's fans. xD And thanks for finding those typos! I corrected them the day I read your review.  
**

* * *

Maybe I shouldn't have been surprised that Killua hadn't come by during my shift in almost a week.

Actually, none of my 'friends' had. I hadn't seen Gon, Leorio, nor Kurapika since last Friday, and Killua never stopped by again since our disagreement on Saturday. Not that I blamed him.

It was Friday again, and absolutely nothing eventful had happened in the past week. Nuly still hadn't called, texted, or communicated with me in any way. Killua, Gon, and the rest of them were slowly turning MIA just as my purple haired friend. Darin, let alone the rest of my family, hadn't called either, but that was to be expected.

And I felt lonely. There were only 10 minutes left until closing, marking the start of the weekend. But when you're alone and doing everything by yourself, it kind of makes it seem like it isn't worthwhile.

Wasn't that funny? Before all of this- before the Hunter Exam, before Nuly, before Yorknew, before Leorio, Kurapika, Gon, and before Killua, my life was just as it was now: Uneventful. I had gotten used to the change of the bustling of the city and the bustling of my friends. I had found myself yearning for their companionship.

I wasn't sure why I loved my lonely lifestyle of the past when I sat alone, trained with family members who didn't have names, ate alone, and sat in the darkness watching as my father worked.

Things had changed in a matter of weeks, and I knew that there was no going back to the quiet, bland life I once called home.

Finally standing, I hovered over the shelves of candy, skimming over the myriad of labels and flavors. Finding the stash of dark chocolate, I gingerly picked a bar up, deposited the correct amount of Jenny into the register, and touched the chocolate to my lips.

My mind jumped back to Killua shoving chocolate into my mouth. It was bittersweet, both the memory and the taste.

"Oh, so you do eat candy in your free time. That's surprising, actually."

Nearly having a heart attack, I literally jolted up from my position, successfully wiping a smudge of chocolate across my cheek. I hadn't even noticed the white-haired figure looming over me as he wandered into the store, head cocked to the side as he watched for my reaction.

"No, I was just hungry, and I get an employee's discount for working here," I fibbed, smearing the chocolate that had latched itself onto my face. Gazing at him through my lashes, I wondered what possessed him to come. He looked bored, same as always, as he maneuvered through the candy racks himself. At least he showed up, right?

"I see." Finding what he wanted, he plopped down a small, single box of candy drops onto the counter. "You should be closing shop right about now, right?"

The wall clock was nearly at 8pm when I gazed at it. In seconds, the little hand hit the 8, the clock chiming the appropriate number of times before fading into darkness. I didn't have to answer his question. On cue, I approached the front, casually flipping the sign to signal that the shop was closed. "You should get going, too."

"What? No way." He leaned back down, positioned in such a way that I could only make out the tips of his hair from where I was standing. Moving closer, pulling my hair band out as I did so, I realized that he was gathering a mass of small candy samples.

He was being quiet, so I followed suit, squatting to sit next to him. His presence had returned, and he stared hard at the candy as his fingers ran over the labels. A small pile was already on the counter, and an even smaller amount was on the floor in front of him.

Unsure of what to say, I kept my mouth shut. If we were going to pretend that nothing happened, then that would be okay with me. I didn't even want to discuss it in the first place, but he just insisted on following me back to my apartment. Creepy.

After a few seconds, Killua gathered the pile on the floor and combined it with the pile on the counter. Then he turned to look at me, then he turned to look at the clock. Ten after closing. At this time, I'd be right about home.

But before I could speak, Killua pulled on my wrist, roughly forcing me to sit in one of the stools that lined the counter. He sorted through the candy before shoving the box of candy drops in my direction.

I watched him with curious eyes. Exhaling, he looked in my direction once before taking the box back, tugging the lid off, and forcing a single candy drop into my hand. "Eat it."

I leaned back in my stool, finally finding it appropriate to speak. "...What? You have to pay for all this, you know." Our eyes found the candy at the same time.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Just hold on. Shut up and eat it."

I picked up the candy drop with my other hand, rolling it in my palm with my fingers. It was bright red, a color obviously manufactured. "I'm pretty sure this is 99% sugar."

"So?"

I dropped my hand. "Why should I eat it? What I _should_ be doing is going home." 15 past closing.

He was quiet for a few seconds, his finger just barely brushing his chin. "Eat it."

"You still haven't given me a legitimate reason."

"Does it matter that much why I want you to eat it? Maybe I just _pity_ you for not being able to enjoy life's greatest gift. How about that, huh?" He was still staring at me, eyebrows arched and lips curved down. His features were always sharp, and looking into his eyes always made me feel smaller than I was.

Instead of replying, I continued to roll the candy drop between my fingers, finally biting down on the tip. It tasted like strawberries, but it wasn't as sweet as I'd thought it be. My 99% sugar claim was false.

Killua sighed in awe, hopping onto the stool next to me. "Considering that you're finishing it, I take it that it wasn't bad?"

"It wasn't bad, but saying it was good would be a stretch." Maybe I was lying, but it wouldn't be true if I said that I wasn't just a bit ticked off with him.

Groaning, he merely rolled his eyes as he prodded the mass of candy. He retrieved a thin sliver of hard candy, wrapped in bright green foliage. His gaze went from the candy to me before he dropped it in my fingers.

The label read that this one was the flavor of green apple. Motioning for me to eat it, Killua leaned forward, gaze not breaking from the candy as I sucked on it. The flavor immediately exploded in my mouth, and I dare say that it was… good.

My shock must've shown clear on my face since Killua looked smug as he spoke. "Good, huh? See, since you work at a candy store, there's crap candy and good candy. While I'm guilty of liking any and all things sugary, you obviously don't." He flipped over another one of the slivers of hard candy in his hands, reading the label on the back. "...But I know what's good and what's not. You have to know what to look for."

And it continued. We spent almost thirty minutes more in the closed shop, silently exchanging candy as I taste tested them. It was strange. I had worked in that candy shop for over a month, yet I had never felt the need to sample the inventory. My assumption that all candy was gross fell through tonight.

The clock chimed 8:45 just as I finished the last piece. It wasn't even late, but I could feel the fatigue.

"This also… is an apology, I guess," Killua mumbled, quiet enough that I had to lean in to hear. He fiddled with a chocolate bar wrapper in his fingers, gaze locked on it as he spoke. I wasn't surprised that he looked slightly flustered. Killua Zoldyck was apologizing? That's actually pretty sweet. "Not that it was my fault that you wouldn't stay and listen, but…" Scratch that. Still annoying. "I made you angry, and that was pretty freaking weird."

My mouth still tasted sweet. I had probably engulfed more candy in the past hour than in the past year. Sure, Killua wasn't exactly the sweetest guy or the most down to earth, but an apology was an apology.

"I was just, like, I dunno. I don't regret telling you about Nen or anything, but it's not something I can teach. There are two ways to do it: Deliberately and aggressively. I learned through force, the aggressive way," he continued. Feet turned towards him, I leaned forward, just grateful to hear his explanation. "Not that I'm saying that teaching you would be impossible, but… It would be difficult. I guess I could always just send my own Nen at you, but that's pretty dangerous, and you could die."

"I see."

He lifted his gaze, meeting my own eyes. "Wanna test death?"

My scoff was audible. "With someone as _unskilled_ as you? No thanks."

Things were slowly going back to the way they swung in the past. Maybe I had overreacted- I knew I had, but I had reasons to, right?

He tapped his fingers on the counter, staring at the surface, before jumping off the stool and shoving his hands into his pockets. "Well, it's late. I'll walk you home."

He wasn't asking. Shrugging, I jumped off, but not before holding my hand out. "Pay up."

* * *

I didn't mind that it was silent as Killua walked me home. It gave me time to think, not that there was much I was confused about. _I liked Killua._ It was probably dumb, but I had a tiny crush, and I wasn't going to question it.

Either way, nothing much would change. I was perfectly fine with our occasional quarrel and the silences. Our relationship was far from being simple, but it wasn't complicated, either. I only grew more conscious of his presence. I wouldn't stumble over my words or blush or stammer. No. I wouldn't play that part.

Key in hand, I unlocked the door. Killua lingered near the entrance as I entered, throwing my bag onto my bed. I observed my face in the mirror, noting the frizzled hair, before leaning on the drawer and facing Killua. "Uh, thanks."

"Yeah."

Another silence. Staring at an uninteresting point on the floor, I sighed. "...And I'm sorry, too. I don't think I would've been the one to apologize first."

"Because you're stubborn, right?" The slight curl of his lips indicated that he was teasing.

"Totally stubborn."

Another silence. I pushed myself off the dresser, trotting to the bed to remove the contents of my bag. Fulfilling Killua's wishes, I had bought a pack of the slivers of hard candy. "See you soon." My voice was quiet since I was unsure of what to say. I wasn't even sure when I'd see him again since he was unpredictable that way.

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." He nodded, hand hovering over the door knob. He began to close it, but not before stopping once, his features covered by the door. "Oh, and Era?"

"Yeah?"

"Night."

* * *

My Dad was a traditional man. He was pretty rough looking with his square shaped jawline and untamed stubble that ran from his sideburns to his chin. It was the complete opposite of my mother and grandparents, all of whom were clean cut and always in the know. The difference between the Hunters in my family and my father, the blacksmith, was obvious.

So, it didn't come as a surprise when the letter I received was from my Dad, dated just a few days back.

_Era,_

_How has Yorknew been? I can't believe that you're completely on your own now… but you are a Hunter, just as your mother was and just as her parents. I'm proud of you, love._

The letter, adorned with his scraggly, all caps writing, had the faintest scent of his sweat mixed with the smoke of his workshop. I felt nostalgic. The fact that my Dad said he was proud of me- something he rarely said- made something click for me. Before wanting to be a Hunter, I wanted to be a blacksmith. As a child, I would nag him that one day, I would surpass him. It always made me feel guilty to know that my wish fell through.

_I do wish that you would have come home in person after you completed your exam. But I know that you're growing up, and as such, our quaint home isn't enough. You're growing out of it, just as your mother had._

_Your mother's parents are doing well, but they've decided to move out of the house. They decided to go to the small retirement home an hour's walk away._

Something else stung me. I imagined my father, a gruff man, leaning over a small table as he wrote this. He was probably alone. My grandparents and Darin wouldn't have been near him.

_Did Darin tell you, love? He's going to try and become a Hunter, too._

...Dad was going to be alone. My grandparents were leaving, and Darin was going to the Hunter Exam. He would be alone.

_You made it on your third attempt, so I have no doubts that one day, he will, too. Love, be sure to visit soon. I'm not sure when you will, but please come by. I've enclosed something special for you since your birthday's soon. Take care, Era._

_Love, Dad_

Reaching into the box that the envelope was taped on, I gasped as I realized that he had included a metal chain, a gleaming piece of obsidian strung through.

Unable to keep the smile off, I hooked the necklace over myself.

* * *

In two weeks, I would be leaving Yorknew.

I began waving for a taxi to stop before changing my mind. I could walk the way home.

It had been too long since I visited home. My birthday was in two weeks, conveniently on the day that I was scheduled to arrive home. I would visit and stay there for a few days. Darin would probably be training for his exam, and Dad no doubt would be constructing more weapons.

The city was alive. I passed a group of teenagers around my age as they giggled and chatted with one another. Two children rushed passed me, one of them pulling the other forward.

I was able to make quieter, smaller chatter from the inside of the building I was nearing. The double doors were open, and various people left in groups. They looked pretty sophisticated; All but a handful were wearing suits and ties or regal black and white dresses.

Imagine my surprise when I spotted Leorio exiting, soon followed by the troubling pair.

Killua and I were supposed to be on good terms, so I wasn't sure why I forced myself to speed up and walk past, nearly bumping into a different person who was exiting the building.

"Pardon me," he hissed, his formal words not matching the angry tone of voice he carried. Pushing past me, he turned the corner.

But _of course_, the tiny scene was enough for Killua to notice I was there.

"Yo, Era!"

My shoulders hunched as I turned to face my approaching friend, followed by both Gon and Leorio. I tried to make myself look surprised, though Killua probably knew the truth. "You look, uh, nice," I commented, eyes widening at how formal he looked before meeting his gaze. His bangs were pushed to the side, yet still seemed messy, and the white suit looked like it cost a fortune. Gon had an identical suit in black, his tie a bright green. Leorio looked the same as he always did, business suit and all. "You guys, too."

While Gon beamed and Leorio shrugged off my comment, Killua merely smirked and tilted his head towards me. "I can't say the same for you."

Ouch. Cold.

"I was only picking something up, not going to a fancy… whatever," I defended, sighing as I held up the single ticket. He was right, though. My shorts that were once white had turned gray, stained with a few unnoticeable other colors. Then I had on a simple orange t-shirt that I'd had since I was 12.

"It was a funeral," Leorio remarked. Only then did I realize that the blonde addition wasn't present. As if he knew what I was thinking, he quickly added in, "One of Kurapika's friends. You wouldn't know them."

Right. Of course not. I barely knew the person I was talking to right now, anyways.

"What? Lritis? Is that a real place?" Killua commented, snatching the tickets out of my hands. "It doesn't sound real. I've never heard of it."

I snatched back what was mine, sticking my tongue out. "It's pronounced _Ly-ree-tis_. And yes, it's a real place. It's my hometown." He was still staring at me, unamused. "I'm heading back for… I mean, to see my Dad," I quickly added.

Gon decided to jump into the conversation, head cocked to the side. "Really? You're going back?"

I blinked. "Why do you sound so surprised…?"

Gon and Killua exchanged looked, the latter not looking impressed. "We thought you'd stay in Yorknew for your… you know. Your birthday."

"...How do you know it's my birthday soon?"

Killua sent me one of those '_doh'_ looks before responding. "You're a Hunter. You have a birthday. You don't know how easy it is to find information through an internet search."

"You guys… looked me up on the internet? That's so _creepy,_" I commented, internally shuddering. My eyes washed over the three boys, wondering what would come up if I searched their names. I couldn't imagine finding much Leorio, but I wouldn't be surprised if pages and pages came up with details of the younger two.

Killua shrugged, stepping back to avoid getting hit by someone exiting with a flailing child. The thought of Killua getting socked in the nose by a baby made me smile. "We had to make sure you weren't a threat. You know, make sure you weren't just… playing dumb?"

"Playing… playing dumb!? Are you kidding me?!" Truth be told, I felt pretty offended. It wasn't exactly my fault that I didn't know Nen. Besides, I couldn't learn it without Nuly. ...Right? And they thought I was dumb because of it? That was… pretty aggravating.

"Yeah, yeah." Killua waved it off. "But whatever. That's in the past, isn't it?"

Right.

* * *

As much as Killua ticked me off, he was still my friend, so it shouldn't have been strange for me to walk around town with them, right? Wrong. I was only walking next to Leorio, a few steps behind Gon and Killua, because the Zoldyck forced me to. Besides, I looked completely wrong next to them. They were all in nice dress suits while I wore a shirt I had when I was 12.

"You know, you didn't actually have to come. I highly doubt Killua would've really ransacked your apartment," Leorio offered, probably trying to make small chat. My eyes found his face, only to see him staring ahead at the pair in front of us. "...Actually, he might have."

I nodded, actually believing that he would. "I know." Truth be told, I wouldn't have really minded. Even if he had burst into my apartment, there was nothing there besides me. Plus he wouldn't have really taken anything. "...But if I'm not here, who's to stop you guys from destroying the city?"

Now that I looked at them all, Kurapika was probably the most mature though he wasn't the oldest. Killua and Gon, side by side, still reminded me of kids even if they were both older than I was. According to Killua, they all had known each other for a handful of years. They had all entered the Hunter Exam, and even though Killua failed that first time, he was definitely one of the strongest of their group at the time.

"Era?"

And then there was me. I wasn't sure how friendship that strong was. I trusted Nuly with my life, yeah, but we hadn't known each other for very long. I had known Killua and company for an even shorter amount of time, so was it crazy that I felt safe around them?

"Era."

Actually, no. Everything was crazy. The fact that I was even out here, walking with three Professional Hunters in the middle of Yorknew, was an insane fact by itself.

"Eraaaaaa."

I hadn't realized I had stopped walking until I realized that Killua was poking my cheek nonstop. "Stop it." I sighed, pulling my head away from him.

"I was trying to get your attention."

"I know."

"You weren't listening to me."

"I know."

Killua continued to observe me. Gon and Leorio had long since passed us, but both had turned around from their positions to stare at us. Killua merely shook his head towards them to usher them to go on without us. "Are you still going back to your house on your birthday?"

"Well yeah. Why wouldn't I?"

I wondered how weird the situation must have looked. Compared to Killua, I looked dirt poor. Compared to him though, that probably wasn't far from the truth.

He was still staring, blank expression on his face before he began to walk. I fell in step next to him. "You should stay in Yorknew."

"But I've already bought the ticket."

"...You have a Hunter License. You can get another ticket another time."

I wasn't sure why he was making a fuss over it. Sure, that was true, but it had been forever and a day since I'd seen my father. Just thinking of my Dad shot a pain to my heart. I missed him. "Why do you want me to stay so badly?"

Then Killua stopped walking in the middle of the sidewalk. People pushed past us as he maneuvered us both to the side. He was close; The side of his arm was pressed against my own. "Why do you want to go so badly?" he shot back.

"I haven't seen my Dad in over a month." I was looking ahead at all the people pushing by, running from one place to the next, instead of at his face. But his eyes were on me. I could tell. "Isn't that a good enough reason?"

"Mm…" When I finally turned towards him, he tore his gaze away from my face and looked as if he was in intense concentration. "No."

"Don't you ever want to see your family?"

"My family's insane."

"Then you don't understand."

It was only after I retorted that I realized how awful of a thing that was to say.

"Wait, no, Killua, I didn't-" I stumbled over my words, trying to conjure up a good enough explanation. I didn't mean it. The look on his face, pure anger, shocked me more than it scared me.

Wrapping a hand around my wrist, he roughly pulled me forward, tugging me behind him as he led me to a narrow alley between two buildings. It was quieter here; I could hardly hear the bustling of the city.

Then Killua turned towards me. "Say that again."

"What?"

"That I don't understand."

I shook my head, refusing to meet his gaze. "No. It was a bad thing to say, and I wasn't thinking straight, and I regret saying it, and…"

"There's Alluka and Gon." I could hear his footsteps approaching just before his hand came out of the shadows, forcing me to look at him. "There's Leorio and Kurapika and Zushi." His hold on my jaw was strict, but not enough for me to wince in pain. "And there's you. Tell me that I don't understand what family's like because I'm sure as hell that I know what it's like to care for someone even if it's not my crazy ass mom."

"I get it." His grip loosened but only for a split second. It was quiet and dark, the only sound and light coming from the city a few feet away. "I get it." My voice was quieter the second time.

I wasn't sure what was going to happen next. His eyes were still staring into mine, and it was more uncomfortable than anything. Letting out a long sigh, Killua dropped his hand from me, tracing a finger on my jawline. "You don't get anything."

In another second, he had already stepped back, facing the city so his back was towards me. It was cold where his fingers were.

"We should probably head back. Gon and Leorio are probably looking for us," I offered, unsure of what else to say. What was there? I couldn't say that it felt exhilarating for him to be that close. I couldn't tell him to stay. I wasn't playing that role.

"I highly doubt that," the Zoldyck mumbled back, quiet enough that I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear. Then louder: "Alright, let's find them."

And things were back to normal.

* * *

"Gon, I really don't understand why you're taking me to the airport. My flight doesn't leave for two weeks. Are you really that excited for me to go?"

A frown was on Gon's face as he replied. "No. You really don't know why I'm taking you?"

After regrouping with Gon and Leorio, I noticed that Gon was furiously texting someone on his phone. It hadn't been five minutes after we reunited that he had announced that he was heading to the airport and that I was to accompany him.

Gon looked excited for a reason I didn't know. Then again, he always looked excited. It was rare for him not to have a smile on his face or a reason to grin. I had trouble figuring out if Killua and Gon were more like polar opposites or complete twins. Recently, after seeing them together, I'd been leaning towards the latter.

"No. It's not everyday that we're alone without Killua, so you understand why I'm curious, right?"

"Not really."

His comment sent us spiraling down into silence, but I didn't mind. The airport was just up ahead, and judging from the mass of people exiting, a plane had just landed. Or maybe one was just about to take off?

The closer we got, the faster Gon began to walk. I had to jog just to keep up with him.

"I think… I think they'll be waiting by the entrance. Come on, Era!" He pulled on my wrist, his touch a lot more gentle and comforting than Killua's had ever been.

"Who-"

My voice was cut off as soon as I caught sight of them. Her back was turned, but I knew those bony shoulders anywhere. It was slow as she turned towards us, hand covering her sunhat to keep it from flying off.

Those eyes only confirmed it.

"Era, Gon. Hey!"

Nuly had returned.

* * *

**Author's Note: Things will be happening very soon. Get ready for a lot of frustration. (;**


	8. Sour

**Author's Note: I AM ALIVE. Hello, hello! It's been awhile. This chapter is about 1k shorter than my usual chapters, but I figured that I owed everyone something. I... 80% of this was written last September, and the other 20% had typed up at 4am. Be warned. Additional author's notes will be at the bottom detailing a few things.**

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e  
****l-i-a-r-s**

_8: Sour_

* * *

"Contrary to popular belief, I'm actually a good cook myself." Picking at the food on his plate, Killua flicked a piece in my direction, yet he didn't bother to look at me. I dodged the bread crumb, heaving a sigh as if my annoyance wasn't already obvious.

"Oh, really? Care to back that up, pretty boy?"

Everything that had happened in the past hour was a whirlwind of confusion. Watching the interaction between Killua and Nuly, as if things were completely normal, didn't help.

Neither Gon nor Leorio seemed to mind. Almost an hour ago was when Gon had rushed me to the airport, texting furiously to who I later learned to be Nuly. First off, how come Gon was able to text her, yet I wasn't?! A had sent a string of texts and calls beforehand, but none of them went through. But after we arrived at the airport, it became hard not to notice Nuly. She looked the same, not a care in the world, as if she hadn't just gone MIA for almost two weeks. Maybe two weeks wasn't such a long time for most people, but I was paranoid.

Then there was the fact that Nuly and Killua were exchanging casual conversation, leaning in closer to whisper things that I guess I wasn't allowed to hear. Leorio tried to make small talk with Gon and I, but all his conversation starters fell through.

The five of us- Killua, Nuly, Gon, Leorio, and I- were all situated in the famous restaurant, Green Light, located a few blocks away from my apartment. The restaurant lived up to its name. Fluorescent green lights were hung on the walls and drooping from the ceiling, casting an eerie glow on everything.

We had all long since finished our main course, but Nuly had ordered dessert in an attempt to stay longer, probably. She and Killua were getting so into their conversation that I wondered why I had come. Oh, right. Like always with him, I didn't have a say. Killua and Leorio had joined us at the airport seconds after Gon and I had found Nuly. From there, Killua and Nuly mutually decided to bring us all to Green Light.

Seeing them chat so casually struck something in me. Killua and I were never able to hold a conversation without him calling me lame or paranoid. Nuly and him were getting along perfectly. Just peachy.

"Hey, Nuly." I tried to keep my voice low enough so the surrounding tables wouldn't hear, much unlike how the pair in front of me was talking. She didn't look like she heard. "Nuly," I repeated louder.

Holding a dainty finger up in my direction to quiet me, Nuly didn't give me a passing glance as she continued to tell her story to Killua. "And then… and then she completely cut his arms off! Isn't that insane?! It's insane! I know!" The Zoldyck merely chuckled, throwing his head back slightly as Nuly touched his arm. It was a story that she had recalled to a number of people about one of the Exam's phases. I wasn't sure how she was able to so… nonchalantly talk about the gore without her stomach twisting inside out. Thinking back of the Exam made me shrivel up in guilt.

"Oh, really?" Killua's orbs flashed to my own for a split second before returning to Nuly. "Your friend never told me about anything that extreme happening. She was pretty lame while telling the story."

What.

I was fuming now, and I wasn't afraid to hide it. My anger may have had its roots in pure jealously, but their conversation was only fueling the fire. They knew it, too. I could see the way that Killua's mouth was tilted up every so slightly, and the way that Nuly leaned in closer than for friendly conversation. He had called me Nuly's friend, not even saying my name, _and_ he had said that the way I told the Hunter Exam story was lame.

The waitress cut in, dropping the dessert that Nuly had ordered in between herself and Killua, happily exclaiming that she had put two spoons and two straws in the sundae for them before leaving, so I was unable to retort Killua. It was silent for a few seconds as Nuly rose the vanilla-coated spoon to her lips, licking the top of the ice-cream off of the instrument.

Then Nuly and Killua were back in their conversation. Okay, okay. I didn't have to deal with this. Pushing my chair out, I stood up, dropped the appropriate amount of Jenny on the table, and excused myself.

"Wait, Era!"

Holding the door open, my feet turned myself around to face the direction of the voice. When I found myself staring at the faces of Gon and Leorio, a subtle disappointment creeped up my features. Of course. I shouldn't have expected Killua to have called out for me. He was too busy chatting it up with Nuly.

"Um, yeah?" I blinked in an attempt to shield my disappointment, feeling a bit better after leaving the table, but all too curious as to wonder what Gon and Leorio were doing.

Leorio was the first to speak up. "Killua all but kicked me and Gon out! Can you believe the brat!?"

I actually could. Nuly and Killua were obviously much closer than I had thought they could be- they seemed even closer than Killua and I were. Killua was pushing my buttons on purpose, and Nuly was tagging along. I wasn't sure what _her_ problem was- I mean, she never acted that annoying on purpose!- but Killua's attitude should have been something that I was used to. "I… see."

Cue awkward silence. Luckily, Gon jumped in. "Do you guys… want to go to me and Killua's place? We have an apartment right now, and uh…" His eyes shifted between Leorio and me. "Leorio… we haven't hung out in a really long time, and Era… Killua's obviously friends with you, so I wanna be friends with you, too."

The smile he gave me, as well as his words, forced a smile onto my face as well. "You know, Gon… That actually sounds pretty fun."

* * *

"No, no, no, no! Left, left, left! Go left! Why isn't this going left!?"

"Era, calm down!" Gon remarked, leaning over to bump me with his shoulder. His laugh was loud, and I found myself having difficulties holding down my smile even if I was losing badly.

It was nearly two hours past midnight, and Gon, Leorio, and I had been playing videogames after awkward attempts at starting conversation. We were playing some sort of battle game- a game in which I was still struggling to learn the correct controls. I had decided to follow up on Leorio's tactic of what he called "Button Mashing". Surprisingly, using his own tactic, I had beat him, but Gon's more systematic approach made him more of a challenge.

"Get your fist away from me!" I all but shrieked, avoiding the punch that Gon had enacted in-game. He reacted with an in-game jump, landing square on my head and knocking my character out.

It was silent as the "WINNER: GONTASTIC" filled up the screen. Leorio and I exchanged mutual glances, both of us turning to Gon with a smile.

"Wow, nice job of winning," Leorio commented, glancing quickly at Gon then at me shortly after. I couldn't place his expression. "Are you ready for your... prize?"

"...Prize?"

Oh. The slight emphasis on the last word aided with his subtle hand motion allowed me to catch on. "Oh, yes! Yes! Your prize, Gon! You didn't think that we'd let you win without gaining a prize, did you?" I cut in, suddenly scooting in closer. Leorio followed, an evil smile coating the lower half of his face.

Ignoring Gon's complaints, Leorio and I tackled the winner. Our laughs were louder than the video game's soundtrack, earning us a harsh "Shut up!" from the floor above ours.

I wiped a stray tear away, laughing as I collapsed on the ground. "Oh, oh man… My stomach… My stomach hurts from laughing too much!"

Slowly, things began to calm down, and heavy laughter faded into softer giggles. Gon adjusted his position so that he was now sitting up, casually shoving Leorio. "You know, Era," he began, smiling in my direction, "I had no idea that you were this fun when you let loose."

"Oh, really?" I sat up as well, pulling my hair back into a loose bun. "Killua usually just says I'm lame."

...And back to the awkward silence. I mentally slapped myself, gritting my teeth in annoyance for even bringing up his name. Since arriving at their place, nobody dared to mention the two that had stayed at Green Light. It was like taboo.

But of course, I was the one who brought him up. Well, better now than later. Someone had to. It was 2am, and neither he nor Nuly had contacted any of us. What were they even doing!?

"Sorry," I hastily blurted, "I didn't mean to, uh, bring him up. I was just..."

Leorio blinked, staring at me with his mouth slightly agape before pulling his gaze elsewhere. "No, Era. You're fine, really." He and Gon exchanged looks before he continued. "We actually didn't want to bring up either of them because you seemed angry."

"But… But don't forget that because of them, we all got to hang out!" Reaching out, Gon placed a steady hand on my shoulder. "This was a lot of fun, really! We should do it more often."

"Yeah." I flashed a smile, using my own hands to pull myself off the floor. Standing next to them both, I towered over them since I was standing. "We should. You guys are alright, you know."

This was fine. Gon and Leorio were both good people, and I had a lot of fun with just being with them. It was nice to be friends with people who I could hold a conversation with; Killua always lost interest (in me at least, though obviously he held some sort of interest in Nuly), and Nuly lost her concentration. Glancing over at the two situated at the couch, I noted how they were both exchanging small talk about the tactics of the game.

But still… There was something about Nuly that still led me to call her my best friend, and there was something so intriguing about Killua that always drew me back in for more.

Sighing, I dropped myself onto the couch next to Leorio.

By the way he turned ever so slightly in a way that both Gon and I could talk to him, it seemed like he was going to say something. I hastily cut him off, shoving a finger in his direction when I heard the approaching laughter.

Both the guys followed my reaction as we stayed perfectly still, heads peaked from behind the couch to watch the door. Muffled talking. More laughs. A giggle. Then silence. More laughter.

Then the door was pushed open, Nuly laughing even louder than in the halls. As loud as she was being, I expected another person from the floor above us to yell "Shut up!", but they didn't.

Her laughter stalled when she saw the three of us thrown on top of the couch, the "WINNER: GONTASTIC" screen still flashing on the TV behind us. Killua scanned the area, shutting the door with caution.

"Gon. Leorio. Era," he greeted plainly, his eyes flashing over the three of us.

"Arrogance. Nuly," I responded in an equally monotone voice.

Back to an awkward silence fueled by the disinterested stares that Killua and I were exchanging. Luckily, having Gon on my side, he pulled on my arm and gave a sheepish smile. "Wanna play again?"

Feeling my anger already leave due to the offer, I nodded and automatically turned away from the two who had just entered. "Wanna join us, Leorio?"

I could still feel Killua and Nuly's eyes on the back of my head as the oldest one responded. "Are you kidding!? I've lost every time…!" His eyes found the spare controller, and his expression quickly changed. "On second thought…"

As Gon restarted the match, I found it hard to concentrate. Killua and Nuly were still watching us. I could feel it. Without pausing the game- successfully allowing Gon to take one of my final lives in-game- I turned around, ready to tell Nuly and Killua to go elsewhere. To my surprise, neither of them were there.

* * *

The clock chimed 5 times, signaling that it was long after midnight. I wasn't sure how I ended up staying at Gon and Killua's place until 5am without falling asleep, but the fatigue had begun to kick in almost an hour ago. It became harder to force my eyes open.

"...Really, Era, maybe you should head home," Gon encouraged me. He was to my left, the controller in his hands, the game paused. I think. "You've been running your character into the wall in-game. I haven't even done any damage to you, but you're already down half your hit points."

"No, no. I've got this." I snapped my eyes open for a split second, seeing my character just jamming their head into the wall, before closing them again. The familiar sound was played whenever a character died. Feeling like I lost all responsibility, I hastily fell into a sleep.

* * *

"No, she's still asleep. Snoring? Why do you care if she's snoring- Ew, do you have a weird fetish or something?"

Talking. Someone was talking on the phone. They were loud. Too loud.

"Yes, there's probably a snore fetish! ...What? No! That's gross! Ew. Ew. Ew."

It was bright. I could feel the heat on my face. Groaning, I shifted my position, throwing my blanket over my head.

"... … …What? Oh, no. I'm still here. Era just moved. Maybe I'm being too loud?"

The voice got quieter.

"...No! I'm not going to purposely yell just to wake her up. You're sick."

The voice got loud again.

"I _know_ that it's noon, but… you didn't even end up bringing her back to her apartment until after 5am. Do you know how much sleep she's had?"

Oh, right. I did get back late last night. I was… at Gon's place. And Killua's. And Leorio was there. So was Nuly-

"No. I'm not going to just wake her up. I'm a good person, unlike you- No. Last night was just for fun! It didn't mean anything!"

My eyes suddenly shot open, connecting the voice to her words. Bending forward, I made out Nuly's form, her free arm shooting everywhere as she talked on the phone.

"What the heck?! No! You can't just show up! Do you know how pissed she'll- … … …"

I was able to hear the dead of the phone line. Whoever was on the other end had hung up.

Sighing, Nuly finally faced me again. Her face lit up, smile present, as she rushed to my side. "Era! Era! Are you alright? Oh gosh, you weren't drinking, were you? Leorio and Gon said you didn't, but-"

"Who were you talking with on the phone?" I felt around on the bedside table, easily retrieving my phone and my wallet.

She blinked, watching closely as I felt for my things. "Killua."

"Of course you were."

"Eraaaa!" Pouting, Nuly fell forward, her stomach on top of my lap and limbs spread over the bed. "Don't be like that," she drawled. "It wasn't my fault!"

"What, exactly, wasn't your fault?" Groaning after obtaining the realization that my phone was dead, I hastily pushed Nuly off. She rolled to the foot of the bed as I stepped off, plugging my cell into its charger.

It was quiet. Looking back at her, a finger on her lip, I could tell she was thinking. Debating. "Nothing," she finally let out. "Anyways, are you still tired?"

Subject changer, but I wasn't in the mood to fight it. "Kind of. Not really. I've had less sleep." My phone lit up. I scrolled through it, disappointed to learn of the lack of new messages. "Who brought me home this morning, by the way?" I highly doubt that I could've picked myself up to make it back here by myself.

"Killua." I was anticipating that. "Strangely enough, he said that it was a pain for him to have to bring you here."

"Of course he did."

"Buuuuuut," she cut in, "Even though Gon volunteered to do it, Killua went through with it anyways! Isn't that romantic?"

"Don't even bring up the subject of romance." My reply came out sharper than intended, but I didn't regret it. "I probably owe him something now."

"Owe him something?"

Half turning towards her, faking the fact that my phone was interesting, I narrowed my eyes. "You should know how he is. You spent a lot of time with him last night."

She stared at me for a few more seconds before pulling her knees up to her chin. I had a feeling of what she was going to say.

"Don't say it," I hastily cut in.

"Say what?"

"It."

She pouted further, blinking her eyes innocently. "I have no idea what you mean. I was just going to ask if you-"

"I'm _not."_

Because she stayed quiet, I honestly believed that she had dropped the topic. But as soon as I saw the slight curl of her lip, I knew that wasn't the case.

"You're jealous." I could feel my cheeks begin to heat up as her gaze pierced into me. To Nuly, I was an open book. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

Luckily, I didn't need to respond. There was a short knock on the door, and before I could say anything else, the door was being pushed open- did Nuly seriously not lock the door?! I never thought I'd say that I was glad to see Killua. ...That was the case here. His presence made everything worse. I could just tell that Nuly was grinning. I could just imagine her eyes darting from Killua to myself.

So when the white-haired, obnoxious teen known as Killua Zoldyck entered the room, I plopped back onto my bed. He greeted us both with a simple "yo", hand outstretched as he shut the door behind him. Nuly waved back, saying something quickly that didn't catch my interest. Before Killua could say anything else, Nuly blurted out something else.

"Era's jealous."

...It took a second for her words to register in my mind, but when they did, I was sitting up in the bed again and staring hard at my friend. "...What." Was she in grade school still?!

Killua merely glanced between us both, and at this moment I took noticed of the lollipop stick that was poking out of his mouth.

"Era's jealous."

"Don't repeat it," I hastily cut in. "Don't repeat false statements."

"But you-"

"For me to be jealous, I'd have to be envious of something that happened last night, yeah? In no way was I jealous of you being in Killua's company, though," I explained, shrugging nonchalantly. She furrowed her brows at me, obviously not believing it… not that I could blame her. It was something that I could hardly believe myself. "In fact, while I was relieved that you were in his company - I mean, for once, I didn't have to worry about entertaining Killua - last night actually just pissed me off. So no. Not jealous. Pissed."

When the room went back to silence, I realized my mistake. Dammit. It was obvious now. I shouldn't have gone on a tangent like that, but-

Killua stared at the wall for a few thoughtful moments before glancing at Nuly. "...Ready?"

The other girl stood up, glancing in my direction as she walked with him towards the door. "Yeah."

...Wait, what?

The conversation had changed so abruptly that I wasn't sure what to make of it. Nuly had all but dropped the jealously topic, and Killua… didn't even respond to it. He didn't seem fazed, or surprised, or curious. I wasn't sure what about his lack of empathy frustrated me (I mean, what was I expecting?), but something during that second snapped.

Yet I didn't say anything.

For some reason, for whatever reason, I had thought that Killua was coming to my apartment in order to say something to me, but he didn't. My mouth was agape as he left the room, Nuly trailing behind him and offering me an apology. I sat in silence as the door shut. I sat in silence when I realized that from the time Killua had entered the room to the time he left the room, he didn't acknowledge me. There was a quick glance in my direction, but that was it. He had taken Nuly and left the room. My brows furrowed down after understanding that I had gotten my hopes up.

He had left me with nothing but silence.

* * *

That Sunday, I stayed in bed for most of the day, fiddling with my phone and stupid mobile apps. The day consisted of lazing around, eating, and meditating.

...It was still silent.

I was slowly sorting through my thoughts.

1\. Nuly and Killua were acting all buddy-buddy last night and spent many, many hours alone.

2\. I passed out sometime during the night, but Killua brought me home.

3\. Killua came to my apartment today, Nuly claimed I was jealous, and then they both left.

4\. I was very, very stupid.

Ugh. I hated being jealous. It was ridiculous how much I could relate to the schoolgirl protagonist in most shows that gets ridiculously jealous over every other female character that so much as looks at her love interest.

Except… Killua wasn't my love interest. He was a guy I had recently met that I had somehow developed a crush on.

...So being jealous was normal, right?

...No. That wasn't it. The root of my jealousy and frustration mainly came from both Killua and Nuly, not him alone. It was the fact that the only person I could consider a best friend went MIA then suddenly appeared again. It was the fact that she had contacted Gon instead of me. It was the fact that she could tell I was jealous, yet went along with Killua's antics. It was the fact that I got my hopes up for nothing. It was the fact that I had a ridiculously huge crush on Killua and I just wanted it to go away. It was the fact that my thoughts were annoying me, and I was getting annoyed with the way I was acting. I'm 17. Not 12.

Well… whatever. I'm used to this.

Breathing out a sigh, I decided to pull myself out of bed and at least leave my apartment. I looked in the mirror and _wow_, what a sad sight. Okay. Get dressed, go out to eat, and buy some new clothes. Don't overthink. Don't overthink, Era.

So that Sunday evening, as I got dressed, went out to eat, and bought some new clothes, I tried to keep my thoughts in check.

But when you live 17 years without having many people you're close to, only your thoughts keep you company. After 17 years with them, it's hard to just push them away.

So I didn't.

* * *

**Author's Notes: Okay, I think I have some explaining to do OTL. Anyways, every now and then, I go through slumps. Long slumps. Unfortunately, once I get into slumps, sometimes they last far a long time. ...So for this fanfiction, it was over a year. I'm actually surprised I came back - normally with fanfictions like these, me getting into a slump leads to me never completing the fanfic. But I'm back, and feel free to punch me if it ever takes longer than a month for me to update again. **

**Big big apologies for how... whiny? annoying...?... Era is within the last part of this story. Stereotypical "agh i like him im jealous gdi screw this" part of a romance story. I do like diving into Era's thoughts, though. She's interesting to write just because of how... cynical she is, I guess. Eeey. And in the last chapter, I did mention to expect lots of frustration LOL. SO YEAH. Get ready for more frustration, but also fluff and romance soon as well. **

**Aaa are any of my old reviewers still alive though? Guess I'll find out. ;o**

**-Eggs / Ashe **


	9. Scalding

**Author's Note: So, I squealed a little bit after reading the detailed and thoughtful reviews on the last chapter. Honestly, it was a chapter that I was so reluctant to post, but I'm glad to have drawn out such strong emotions from so many people. I got so excited that I ended up writing 3K words last night OTL. **

**Individual responses to several reviews will be at the bottom!**

**Now for part 1 of "Here's a shovel, Kil. Have fun digging yourself out of this one."**

* * *

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e  
l-i-a-r-s**

_9: Scalding_

* * *

"...So I heard you were planning on taking the Hunter Exam."

There was silence on the other line, soon followed by a crinkling sound. I thought we were breaking up for a second, but the crinkling sound ceased and replaced itself with my younger brother's voice. "...Yeah. Dad told you?"

"Yep," I responded with a pop of the 'p' as I flipped a page of the magazine that was laid out in front of me. The candy store wasn't especially busy today, and though a few people had flitted in and out of the building, most didn't stick around. I was able to quickly ring up their purchases and resume talking on the phone.

...Too bad the conversation always went back to silence.

Talking with my younger brother was so difficult because neither of us ever had anything to say. My family was so independent of one another, and while that was good in it's own way, some of the effects - like being unable to hold a conversation with your younger brother - sucked.

...But it's not like it had always been this awkward between us. We played together as kids, but I don't have too many substantial memories from that time. The only thing I really remember is that we buried ourselves under blankets and couch cushions. We bonded over the silly fortresses carved from the sheets and pillows that we collected from around the house. I remember laughing with him as our Dad would enter from around the corner, crashing down onto the fortress and sending us both into a giggling fit. The echoes of his hearty laughter faded into the evanescent memory.

What had happened?

"...Era? I-"

His voice brought me back. I was 17, and he was 15. The memory was bittersweet. It was nice to remember a time when everything was simple and everyone seemed to get along, but there was a certain… longing it caused me to feel in the present. I know that time is over, and I can't get it back. I had screwed up. We weren't kids anymore, and as nostalgic as those memories made me, they were over. Regardless, I knew what he was going to say, and I didn't want him to say it.

"Don't say you have to go," I quickly cut in. "Please don't say it."

I could make out the sound of his breath hitching ever so slightly, but he didn't say anything more. It was quiet again as he exhaled, but I preferred this silence over the one that would've ensued if he really did hang up.

"I'm going back to Lritis for my birthday." It was a desperate attempt to keep the conversation going, and this was something that I knew he could respond to. "...Maybe I could help you train for the Exam?"

"..."

I wasn't sure what I was expecting him to say. It would have been uncharacteristically odd if Darin had jumped at the offer, but I at least wanted to elicit some sort of response from him. I wanted to know he was talking to me because he wanted to, not due to the fact that I was simply his sister. However, there wasn't any sort of substantial reply from him. I was getting sick of being left with nothing but silence. From my brother, from me, from… Killua.

Subconsciously, I gripped my phone harder and swallowed hard. Right. It had been days since the incident at Green Light, and days since Killua had picked up Nuly. It had been days since I had seen either of them. Maybe I could've texted Gon and Leorio about it, but I didn't want to. Both Killua and Nuly had pissed me off, and I was sick and tired of being jealous. I wasn't going to act the part he wanted me to play.

So I heaved a sigh and returned my attention back to the phone - not that there was much to pay attention to. Darin was still quiet. My attempt to keep the conversation going had fallen through and ended in bitter silence.

That was when the door was pushed open, the familiar chime ringing in my ears. I sat up straighter, thinking that it would be alright to hang up on Darin now. He would probably be relieved. "Darin, there's a customer. I've gotta go-" I attempted to abate my frustration, but once I glanced up and saw the familiar figure adorning white hair, my composure flew out the window.

"..." Slowly, I dropped the phone from my ear, hands trembling - why were they trembling? - as my thumb hovered over the 'end call' button.

But Killua didn't say anything. Instead, he moved to the front of the candy store, bending down in front of the counter and reaching for some of the chocolate bars lining the shelf.

I was an expert at being silent now. If we were going to play this game, then I wasn't going to lose.

That is, until he stood up, placed the chocolate bars on the counter, and leaned closer.

Killua narrowed his emerald eyes, planting his arms firmly on the counter as he leaned closer to my face and cocked his head to one side. His eyes bore into my own, and while for a second, I was completely mesmerized and lacking composure, I remembered what had happened just a few days ago.

So, leaning back in my chair, I huffed and glanced away.

I knew he was still in that position, but I refused to turn and meet his expression. After a few seconds, I heard the counter squeak. The fact that Killua had climbed onto the counter was just registering in my mind when I felt his finger gently touching my jaw, trying to get me to look at him.

He was gentle.

I wasn't sure what possessed me to turn, but I did, and I regret it. I couldn't name the expression he was making. I didn't know what it was, and that was what scared me. It wasn't regret, or hope, or sadness. It was firm, and after a few seconds of exchanging stares with him, I understood.

He was judging me. Testing me. Looking for something that wasn't there.

But then he pulled his hand back and stepped onto the floor. The counter was separating us, and I've never been more thankful. Ringing up the items and accepting his Jenny happened quickly, and soon enough his candy had been bagged, and the boy with the emerald eyes was heading towards the door. That was it. That was our simple exchange.

"Killua-"

My voice was just a whisper, quiet enough that only I could hear it. That is why I wasn't surprised when Killua left the shop. The door chimed shut behind him, and my shoulders drooped. I was glad he didn't hear, that he didn't turn around, that he didn't stay. Maybe, just maybe if he had stayed, I would've changed my mind.

But that day, my heart didn't flutter when he moved close, when he touched my jaw, when he gazed so intently at me. That day, I breathed out a sigh of relief when he was gone. That day, I realized that my crush on him was just a crush, and I was over it.

I'm not 12 anymore.

* * *

The gray of the sky paired with the breeze that blew my hair and skirt in every direction made today easily become characterized as a bad day. Few people were outside, and the ones that were looked unenthusiastic as they scurried across the city to their destinations. In fact, I was the only one occupying this park - the same one I had met Kurapika in.

Heaving out another sigh, my fingers wrapped around the cool metal of the chains of the swing that I was sitting on. My feet were planted firmly on the ground as I stared hard into the mulch. One week. One more week until I was going back to my hometown. One more week until I would see my Dad and Darin again.

Nuly still hadn't contacted me at all.

I didn't know what was going on, and that's what I hated. Killua was an asshole, yes, but I knew that from the start. Developing a crush on him was bound to end in shambles. Oh well. If he got sick of me that easily, I would have preferred him telling me straight out. My frustration towards him was warranted.

...But Nuly? That wasn't how she normally acted at all.

She was being a bad friend, wasn't she?

I was so reluctant to admit it to myself. Nuly had been the first friend that I've had in such a long time that I didn't _want_ her to be a bad friend. I wanted us to get along and share stories and hang out and -

I didn't want her to go MIA for weeks, to contact Gon instead of me, to pay more attention to Killua than me, to point out my jealousy, to leave me _again._

How selfish of me.

Swallowing hard, I fought back the tears that were pricking my eyes. No. Don't do it. Don't cry, Era. I was used to this. I could hold them back and easily force I smile. I wasn't going to cry...

...But when the first tear fell and buried itself in the mulch, I found myself hunching forward and covering my face with my hands. Why was I able to cry so easily here?

It was the realization that once again, I was alone. How ironic. The girl who had been alone all of her life was crying because, once again, she was alone. Shouldn't I have been prepared for it? It's not like I've known any of them for that long, but…

"Era?"

Freezing, my breath hitched, and I clenched my teeth. Whoever just said my name just saw me in a pitiful, pitiful position. Swallowing, I began to furiously wipe away my tears and snot and self-loathing. Why…?

"Era…"

That voice… As I slowly dropped my hands from my face, I could make out the sound of footsteps approaching. I released some sort of sound - a cross between a whimper and a squeak - that revealed everything. It was the sign that screamed just how vulnerable I was in that moment. Before I could do much more though, strong arms wrapped themselves around my body.

Gon.

My face was red, my eyes were puffy, and I probably looked like an absolute mess, but in that moment, the gray of the sky became locked firmly in my mind. It looked so, so hopeless out here, but under that pitiful gray sky, I realized that I wasn't alone. Not now, not ever again.

Nuly wasn't the only important person in my life.

Gon cared, and my Dad was there, too. The lonely lifestyle that I once called home was in the past. The way he gripped me tighter only caused more tears to fall. How foolish. I was so, so foolish.

The embrace wasn't awkward in the slightest, and I found myself being thankful when Gon plopped himself down in the swing next to mine.

We sat in silence, but that's okay. Maybe the silence isn't so bad after all.

* * *

"Okay, if you hold the controller like _this_, it's actually a lot easier to maneuver and move to the other buttons quickly! See?" To demonstrate, Gon outstretched a hand and wrapped them around his controller. "Oh, but if you want to do the Special Move combo, then you have to do _this…_"

I listened intently as Gon droned on and on about the "correct procedure" for playing video games on this console. Leorio's "button mashing" tactic obviously bore poor results when we had all played together last time, so Gon made it his personal responsibility to give me instructions. It also was a nice alternative to drowning myself in pitiful thoughts.

My gaze trailed towards the door for a second before snapping back towards Gon. Gon had made it clear that Killua wouldn't be back for a few hours, so if I wanted to avoid him, then I just needed to be out of their apartment by sundown.

...I wasn't even certain why _I_ was avoiding Killua. _I_ was the one who should've been furious with the boy, so I didn't have any reason to avoid him.

But for whatever reason, I still didn't want to see him.

"Oh, hold on." The controller was gently set on the floor before Gon reached for his cell phone a few meters away. He glanced at the caller ID, and instantly his face brightened. Huh. I wonder who-

"Leorio!" the boy chimed, smile gracing his lips. "Nah, I'm with Era. Yep, we're at my place. Ooh, you guys should stop by - … … Oh?" Pausing, Gon hummed softly, leaning back and staring up at the ceiling. "Mm, I'll ask her!" Dropping the phone slightly to cover the receiver, Gon then made eye contact with me. "There's a new restaurant in town that Leorio and Kurapika wanna try out. Want to go with them? Or we could stay here, I -"

"That sounds fine," I cut in, though my statement was probably made a bit too hastily. They were my friends, or… Gon was at least, though I could see myself befriending Leorio and Kurapika in the future. I wasn't going to allow myself to fall into the illusion that I was alone. I wasn't, but this time, I was going to put in an effort to make sure that I won't ever look as pitiful as I did when Gon found me.

The boy was an angel.

Standing up, I stretched my arms above my head and released a sigh. Gon resumed talking on the phone, getting directions to the establishment, as I zipped my jacket up over my body. The building was apparently a fast food place that had just recently opened, and the boys had been wanting to try it out for awhile. It was nice that they were letting me tag along.

"Okay! See you soon, then!" Hanging up, Gon crawled forward to shut off the game console before turning towards me once more. He slipped his keys into his pocket, guiding me towards the door, and we began to walk towards the street that Leorio specified. The cool breeze hit my face and shrouded my body in a veil of cold, but it was… refreshing.

As I normally wasn't the one to initiate conversation, it was pleasantly quiet until Gon spoke. His words, however, came as a surprise.

"I… I know that Kil's kind of rough around the edges and doesn't always seem like the nicest guy around, but he really is a good person. He really is." Gon looked sincere as he talked, and the expression he was making… I didn't want to argue with it. "He normally doesn't act like that. He's a good friend."

My steps slowed to a stop as his words sunk in, but I was quick to regain my composure in hopes that Gon wouldn't notice. "He must not think of me as a friend, then," I murmured before directing my words at him. "I didn't realize that friends kicked each other out."

"...Oh, that." He heaved out a sigh, chuckling awkwardly as a hand scratched the back of his neck. "It's okay. Leorio exaggerated on that. Killua said that he and Nuly had something important to talk about."

Um.

As earnest as Gon was, it was Killua's statement that I doubted. "...Are you sure about that? I didn't realize that 'something important' was flirting."

This time, it was Gon who stopped walking and reached forward to wrap a hand around my wrist. I was forced to stop moving forward, and in my confusion, I glanced in his direction. I was met with a fierce, intense expression.

"No! Killua… when he says it's important, he means it. I know that the way Nuly and Killua were acting was strange, but… I mean it. I don't know Nuly too well, but… Era, trust me on this, okay?" His fierce expression melted away, and he seemed almost… pleading?

I couldn't just ignore the fact that Killua was an asshole though, and Gon probably understood that much. But when I nodded slowly, he heaved a sigh of relief and let go of my wrist. We exchanged glances then started to walk once more.

There was one thing I wanted to know, though.

"How come Nuly texted you instead of me…?" Gon may not have even had an answer to this, as it was something that Nuly did instead of him, but I wanted to ask despite that fact.

"Huh? Oh, you mean when she was arriving? She… wanted her visit to be a surprise. She wanted to surprise you."

"After disappearing for two weeks, you mean."

"I'm sure there's a reason for that."

Sighing, I knew that there would be no arguing with Gon. There was always a bright side, a positive, a 'maybe' to his suggestions. Maybe he was right, though. It's not like I had been able to talk much with Nuly since she arrived again, and I really shouldn't have been jumping to conclusions as quickly as I was as of recent. Either way, there hadn't been very many chances _to_ talk to Nuly.

We arrived at the fast food restaurant sooner than I had expected, and I only noticed we were there when Gon blurted out "Leorio! Kurapika!" and started to run in their direction. I sped up walking as well, greeting the other boys with a simple nod and grin.

Leorio patted my back as Kurapika pushed open the front door, and the four of us made our way to the front.

While I was looking over the menu, thinking that I would settle for something simple like a burger, Kurapika set a hand on my shoulder. "I… heard what happened, and I don't necessarily always approve of Killua's antics."

Pursing my lips, I was only thankful that Gon and Leorio were in some sort of debate about Nen - which I apparently still wasn't going to learn thanks to a certain asshole - rather than listening to me and Kurapika converse. It shouldn't have been a surprise that Kurapika knew of what happened considering how close the four boys were, but I was still taken aback.

So instead, I took a deep breath and ordered a burger before turning my attention back to the blond. "He's a jerk. I know that, and you know that too."

"I can't argue with that, but under the cool and calm facade he puts on, he has a decent character."

Pursing my lips, I eased out a sigh and pondered why the hell everyone was telling me this. First Gon, and then Kurapika? Yes, I'm sure that under all the jerk, there _was_ a good guy. I still remember when we were in the park, the alley, the candy shop… And today, when he reached over the counter and forced me to look at him, yet in the gentlest way possible. I could still recall exactly where his cool fingers had touched my jaw. I could still recall the light pressure he applied, the expression in his eyes, the way he treated me as if I was fragile.

"Era?"

Kurapika's soft voice snapped me out of my daze, and when the blond boy nodded towards the table, I slowly trailed behind. Gon and Leorio, surprisingly, had already sat down and were digging into their respective meals.

Plopping into a seat, I whispered "Thanks for the meal", took a sip of my soft drink, then chewed off a small portion of the actual burger itself. Mm… nothing too special. I wasn't completely sure why exactly any of the boys wanted to come here.

Gon was the one who initiated the conversation at the table. Mouth still filled with food, he leaned towards me. "Ne, Era? Are you still going back to your hometown for your birthday?"

Swallowing down my food, I nodded before speaking. "Yeah. I haven't seen my family in awhile, so…"

"Your birthday's coming up?" Kurapika glanced at me, eyebrows raised and straw a few measly centimeters away from his lips. "I didn't realize."

"Mm… one week from now." Another sip of the drink.

"I see… It's a shame that you aren't staying," the blond commented. Oh man. Not Kurapika, too. Killua had guilt tripped me enough a few days ago in the alley.

Subconsciously, I gripped onto my cup harder and caused the flimsy plastic lid to shift slightly. Staring hard at the table rather than looking to Leorio, who had asked me a question, I willed myself to get Killua out of my head. He was an asshole, and I was over him. No more.

Plastering on another smile, I tried to rid myself of the icky feeling that was expanding inside me. No more. "Sorry, what was that?"

Leorio looked thoughtful as he pursed his lips and turned back to the burger in his hands. "You're out of it today, aren't you?"

"Just tired," I fibbed. My eyes trailed towards Gon, who was staring at me intensely. He saw through the lie just like that, but I was thankful when he didn't say anything else.

That was when Gon's phone buzzed against the wood of the table. His burger was dropped, momentarily forgotten as the boy checked who it was. He glanced in my direction before picking up. "...Killua?"

Oh.

"No, I'm out right now - yes, I locked the door this time. I think. Did I?"

I tried to look nonchalant as I resumed eating, but the way I had cocked my head to the side to listen in was obvious. Not as obvious as the oldest male though, considering that Leorio had leaned in close and all but pressed his ear against the other side of Gon's phone.

"I'm with Kurapika, Leorio, and Era. ...What? The fast food place we were talking about the other day. No, we're almost done. It wouldn't make sense if you just showed up suddenly since I'm sure that everyone -..."

Even from my seat, I could make out a hasty farewell from the other end followed by the static. Killua had hung up, and if I understood right, he was coming to the fast food place.

Oh, hell no.

Standing up suddenly and planting my hands firmly on the table, I was stopped only when Gon reached a hand out and wrapped his fingers around my wrist. It was an effort to keep me there, but he knew better than that.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I'm still pissed with him, though."

And that was it. Gon didn't resist when I pulled back, and none of the other boys tried to stop me from leaving. I scurried home, my shoes clacking against the pavement as the echoes of the day replayed themselves in my mind. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

* * *

I still had an hour to sleep in before I had to wake up when I heard furious knocking at my apartment's front door.

Though I initially attempted to shut out the noise, thinking it to be just another sales person, the pillow covering my ears failed to adequately block out the noise. I found myself groggily sitting up in bed, not even bothering to change out of my shorts or straighten out my top before forcing myself towards the door.

Maybe if I had gotten a little more sleep, I would've been smart enough to check through the peephole before opening the door. Then again, by knowing who it was, it was obvious that he wouldn't have left until I answered.

So I opened the front door, and immediately my eyes widened. It was Killua, but for some reason, I expected it. I expected him to be the one to come knocking at seven in the morning.

I didn't greet him, and he didn't greet me. Instead, he positioned his foot in a way that would make it impossible for me to shut the door in his face. Smart.

Yet he didn't force himself inside the room, nor did he even ask. The boy just continued to stare at me as if he was waiting for me to say something first. Nope.

After a few minutes of this standstill, Killua removed his footing from the door and exhaled. "You never did it."

I merely raised an eyebrow and tilted my head to the side, not understanding what he was talking about. "What was that?"

"The last time you got angry, I told you to yell at me, but you didn't."

This time, it was my turn to exhale, except my sigh was annoyance at the fact that this was _ridiculous._ "You woke me up an hour early just to say that?" The cool and calm facade aided with the monotone voice was something he was able to play off so well. I could never tell what he was thinking past that expression of his. I never knew.

Now that he wasn't blocking the door, I could've shut it, but I didn't.

"So do it now. Yell, scream, whatever. It helps a lot, trust me. You're irritated." I expected him to move closer, making it a challenge, but he didn't. If anything, he stepped back.

"That won't help anything. Maybe if I slept in longer, I wouldn't be irritated."

"I highly doubt that a little sleep would get rid of how pissed off you are at me."

Pursing my lips together, I glanced away and refused to look back. I couldn't argue with that statement. He probably thought I was overreacting at the whole thing - I even _cried._ But it was a big deal to me. I thought I was friends with him and Nuly, but if friendship was defined by how they were acting the other day, then I wanted no part in it.

"Yell."

I didn't understand why he wanted me to scream at him so much.

"Say something, at least."

Realizing that I was still quiet, my grip on the door loosened, but I refused to meet his face. "I want _you_ to say something, Killua. Not me."

I wasn't the one who had to talk and scream. No; that was his job. _I_ didn't have to warrant my actions, _he _did. _I _wasn't supposed to give an explanation, _he _was.

"What do you wanna know?"

Snapping my head up at him, I was surprised to learn that he didn't look smug at all in that moment. He looked innocent, almost as if he didn't find himself at fault for this whole thing.

I didn't realize that I could get more pissed off than I already was.

Hands trembling, I lowered my eyes again to the floor. "...Why?" My voice came out shaking, and I wasn't sure what the reason was. "Why did you-"

I never got to finish my question, as Killua seemed to know what I was going to ask before I said anything further. And of anything that the conceited personification of arrogance in front of me could've said, he chose the worst of it. "Because I'm an asshole."

The door slammed shut so fast that I didn't realize I was the one who did it. Nails digging into the wood of the door, I stayed in that position. I didn't move for at least 10 minutes, silently hoping that Killua would push the door open or knock again or give a legitimate explanation for what had happened.

But when I opened the door, hoping, praying that he was still there, I was met with the disappointment of silence.

* * *

Gon had promised that he, Leorio, and Kurapika would be sending me off at the airport.

It was my birthday today, and I wanted nothing more but to get home and greet my Dad. I missed his workshop. I missed the smoke and the sights and the sound of metal thumping against metal.

But even if I was only going to be gone for a few weeks maximum, Gon insisted that he and his friends send me off. That was a pleasant surprise in itself, but my flight was scheduled to come in five minutes. None of them had arrived.

Exhaling, I checked my phone for the umpteenth time. No new messages. Where were they…?

Both Gon and Kurapika had texted me about it last night, so I was certain that they didn't forget. Maybe they were having trouble getting to the airport or finding my flight? Sighing to myself, I knew that I couldn't keep waiting. Any second, my flight would be called up, and I'd have to go.

Yet when that happened, I slowly dragged myself to the back of the line, still hoping that they'd appear. Just a glimpse of them, and it would be alright.

...That didn't look like it would be the case.

Just as I was next in line to hand in my ticket, the sudden yell of my name from across the room caused me to abruptly spin around on my heel. There, running and waving like mad men, were Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika.

I waved back as the flight attendant tapped me on the shoulder, holding her hand out expectantly to take my ticket. I slid it into her hand just as another voice entered the scene.

"Era!"

Freeze.

This time, turning around came slowly. Killua, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere, had somehow moved in front of Gon and was approaching at a dangerously fast rate.

"Era, don't-"

His voice was cut off by the louder intrusion of the flight attendant. She was hastily gesturing for me to enter in fear that I would hold up the flight.

Inhaling, I gazed back at the four. Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika were all saying something to Killua, but he didn't seem to be paying attention.

For a split second, the possibility of not boarding the plane crossed my mind. Killua didn't want me to board.

...But when did the deciding factor in my life become what a boy wanted?

If there was something he wanted to say, he had two weeks to do it. It's not like I was going to be gone for too long, regardless.

When I boarded the plane, I didn't look back.

* * *

**Author's Note: Okay! First thing's first: Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I was obviously extremely excited, which is why this chapter came out so quickly. /sweats**

**Also, I'll be editing previous chapters to fix up some plot holes and inconsistencies. I finished editing Chapter 1, but these changes are very minor, so no need to go back and read them.**

**Here are a few responses:**

**Aschubel:** **Hey! Nice to see you around still, hehe. I love long reviews and 'rants', so don't apologize. xD Not even gonna lie - Gon is probably my favorite character in this story haHA. Best savior. **

**I'm emotional:** **I agree that all the bad (and in such a short time too, yikes) is outweighing the good! Maybe we should give Killua five or six shovels to dig himself out of this one.**

**HauntedHill:** **The fact that you remembered this story really touches my heart aa ;_; Oh! But sorry if my last update was misleading - the story isn't even close to ending! I intend for it to be at least 20 chapters minimum. There's a lot to explore, and if it wasn't obvious by this chapter, it includes her bonds with Gon/Leorio/Kurapika as well as dealing with her family. C:**

**kri:** **You don't even understand how flustered I got omg that's such a huge compliment thank you Q_Q**

**I tried to respond to as many as I could without this A/N getting too obnoxiously long, haha. Thank you all so much for anything! See you soon. ;3**


	10. Broil

**g-e-n-u-i-n-e  
l-i-a-r-s**

_10: Broil_

* * *

Squished between a muscular man chomping down on the better part of a sandwich and a busty woman who had made _absolutely sure_ that her thick designer purse would be sitting with her rather than in cargo, it was blatantly obvious how uncomfortable I was feeling during that plane ride.

According to the feeble flight attendant who came on the speakers moments ago, we were nearing our destination. Thank goodness. The left side of my body was covered in perspiration thanks to the muscular man who _insisted _on pressing his faux-covered arm against my bare skin, and my right arm was going numb after being smashed against the woman's leather purse for over three hours.

Why, oh why did I not reserve sooner to get a window seat?

Soon enough, that flight attendant - now my savior - came on the speaker and announced that we were preparing for landing. Pressing my back against the seat and squeezing my eyes shut at the awful sensation that was about to make me nauseous, I only released a shaky breath after the plane went still. The lady next to me was the first to stand, and I wasn't going to wait around on the airplane any longer. Hauling my much smaller bag behind me, I followed the mass of people off the plane and into the building.

Before getting to the cargo station, I halted in front of a map. There was a bus route that would take me directly from the airport to a nice spot just a few miles away from my house, but it wouldn't be leaving for another hour. Perfect. Enough time for lunch.

So after getting my luggage - which involved a small mishap with a color blind old man who seemed 100% positive that my purple luggage was actually his, leading me to open the bag and accidentally reveal more of my undergarments than I had planned - I stopped by a burger bar. Imagine my surprise when it turned out to be part of the same chain that I had visited with Gon, Leorio, and Kurapika.

Regardless of the fact that the burger I got last time was too plain for my taste, I ordered the same one.

Eating lunch came slowly, and I only turned my thoughts to the four boys once I began to munch on my burger. I was too preoccupied with my uncomfortable predicament on the plane to even _think_ about them.

Yet finally, the goodbye that Killua had dramatized was passing through my mind.

I couldn't make any sense of his actions anymore. He had been so gentle in the park and candy shop, yet turned around just like that when Nuly came back. Then the asshole had the nerve to say "Just because." when I questioned him about his actions. And _then_ \- oh, this was my _favorite _\- after all of that, he expected me not to board my flight.

_Please _tell me why he thought that would even work.

...Then again, it wasn't like I had caught more than two words from him:"Era" and "don't", but I could probably make an assumption of what his next phrase would've been.

With a final bite, my burger was finished. I crumpled up the paper and brought my tray over to the trashcan, dumping it inside before turning away.

Haha, trash. Kind of like what Killua was.

Ooh, so bitter.

Heaving a sigh, I checked the wall clock only to find that I still had a while to go before the bus would be departing. Dropping myself back into my seat, I took this chance to retrieve my phone and power it on.

Almost immediately, messages of missed calls followed by an incoming call flooded the screen.

The number wasn't one that recognized, but I brought the phone to my ear and decided to answer regardless. Sitting up and lugging my bag behind me to find a quieter location, I didn't click Answer Call' until I could hear the ringing.

"Hello?"

Pause. "Era?"

"That's me… Who is this?" The voice sounded familiar - a soft, gentle tone - but the static on the other end distorted the sound enough that distinguishing who was on the other end became more of a challenge.

"Oh. My apologies. It's Kurapika. Gon had tried calling you to make sure that your flight had landed safely, but he was unable to get through."

Ah. That explained all of the missed calls then.

"I didn't turn my phone on," I explained, leaning back and sliding down onto the floor. My bottom hit the cool ground, and I emitted another sigh. "I'm going to be boarding a bus soon to get home."

"I see." There was shuffling on the other end, then the blond boy cleared his throat. "I hope you have a nice time there, Era. Happy birthday."

Laughing lightly, I nodded even if he wasn't there. "Thanks, Kurapika. I'll bring back souvenirs for everyone, 'kay? Anyways… I'm gonna head towards the bus stop. Let's keep in contact."

After saying our goodbyes, I heaved out a long, drawn out sigh. I didn't move for a few minutes, simply staring up at the ceiling and, for once, not thinking of anything. When I finally did move, it was to check my phone once again. Like Kurapika had said, Gon had called. What I didn't expect was to see one single missed call from Killua.

Not even a voicemail. As I pulled myself off the ground, I shot Gon a quick text to let him know that my plane had landed and I was now heading home.

Once that was settled, I began to head in the direction of the bus station.

Pushing through the doors of the airport, the cool air hit my face and caused me to shiver on instinct. Right. Lritis and the surrounding areas weren't characterized as 'tourist spots' or anything of the sort - in fact, they were one of the last places you'd want to head to on a vacation - but I would get used to the chilly air once again within a matter of day. But for now, I made sure to open the front compartment of my luggage, pull out a light jacket, and drop it over my body.

Clicking my tongue, I stood on my tippy toes to peek over the group of people that were in a collective effort to block my path and line of vision. Luckily, the group separated for just a second, long enough for me to make out the blue tint of the bus. Heading in that direction, I stood in line before boarding.

When the bus driver gazed at me expectantly, holding a hand out to collect the Jenny that would pay for the bus fare, I froze. The wad of Jenny that I could've sworn was in my pocket on the plane had seemingly disappeared into thin air. The driver cocked an eyebrow, and I knew he was ready to throw me off the bus if I couldn't give him the right amount of money.

"You-"

"Wait, wait, no! Hold on…" My voice was a mumble that faded out when I bent down to fish out something from my bag. A few people behind me obviously were disgruntled at how I was holding up the line, but they could wait. In another second, I had flashed my Hunter License towards the driver. Wide eyed, he took it into his hands and glanced it over before accepting that it was real. He slipped it back into my hands and allowed me to pass.

I didn't realize that my legs were shaking until I had sat down in a vacant seat. Bringing out my license had gotten me a few stares - as expected, considering that I didn't look like I was Hunter material - so out of instinct, I held the License close to my chest. Once I had calmed down, I slipped the plastic back where it had came from. Gotta keep that safe.

"Are you really a Hunter?"

The entrance of a new voice startled me, but I quickly gained my composure. There, staring at me, was a boy with deep blue hair and vibrant orange eyes. His orbs gazed towards the seat next to me, and after understanding his silent question, I hesitantly nodded and scooted over.

Yet even though he seemed completely harmless after sitting down and heaving a long sigh, I shifted to pull my bag closer. Caution. The License was worth more than my own life to nearly everyone.

"Mm? Well, are you?" I didn't realize that I hadn't given him a proper response until he looked towards me again, eyes dancing with curiosity.

"Um…" I gazed up towards a group of burly men who had passed us and sat a few seats behind me. "Well, I completed the exam."

"Impressive," he cooed, eyes shutting. The boy leaned back in his seat, looking unnaturally calm as he extended his legs. "Both of them?"

...Wait, what?

"I-"

"That hesitation means that you haven't, right?" The bus began to move, and I curled my limbs closer to my body. "You can't see?"

That was when it clicked, and I understood what he meant. By now, 'seeing' only had one meaning that it correlated with. "I… I know about Nen," I murmured. Dang it, I _really_ didn't want to hear this talk right now. Killua was enough -

Killua.

As much as I wanted to blame him for my current stance on Nen - knowing of it but being unable to learn - I did appreciate the fact that I _knew_ about it. I wasn't in the dark like most of the world, and that day he apologized to me… seemed _genuine._

Maybe that was why my feelings spun out of control so quickly. His personality could change just like that, and it drove me nuts.

Snapping myself out of the daze, I gazed towards the boy. Speaking of which, who was this guy…? He obviously knew of Nen, which was strange in itself, but…

"Are you a Hunter, too?" I asked.

He pursed his lips and looked towards the opposite end of the bus, shrugging slightly. "Not officially. I've never completed the exam. Do I look like Hunter material to you?"

Even when he was standing, it was obvious to tell that this boy adorned a slender, seemingly fragile, figure. And there was something else about him - something off that I couldn't name - that made me believe that he wasn't a Hunter.

But then again, I didn't look like a Hunter, either. "Do _I?_"

"Touche." The boy glanced me over, slowly drawing his eyes from the wall to my body and gazing down my figure. Even if I wasn't being physically touched, I shivered and forced myself to look away. Something was off with him, but I couldn't name it. Something was very, very off.

It must've been luck that the bus halted at that moment, and after gazing around, the boy slowly stood up and sent me a tepid glance. "This is my stop."

"I see." Nodding in his direction, I watched as he slung his bag over his shoulder.

He was beginning to walk towards the front of the bus when he halted. Turning towards me, yet not enough to reveal his face, he muttered six words:

"Nice to see you again, Era."

* * *

It was another twenty minutes before the bus arrived at my spot, and during that time, I was having an internal struggle.

What the _hell_ was that? No - _who _the hell was that?

Maybe the 'off' feeling that was so deeply ingrained in my mind about the boy had something to do with the subtle familiarity. This feeling of uneasiness was one that I felt before. No mistaking it, yet I couldn't place his figure, his face, his voice. It was so similar, so within reach, yet so distant.

Pushed out of my thoughts when the bus ran over a small pothole, I turned around in my seat. While listening to the pitter-patter of the rain on the window, I noticed the misty fog that hung over the fields and houses. It was familiar. A smile slipped onto my face when the small town came into view. Lritis.

A second later, the bus came to a grinding halt. Holding my bag close and dragging my luggage behind me, I skipped off the bus and nodded to the driver. A few other people - notably the group of burly men I had seen earlier - also exited the bus.

There was something about the people of Lritis that I just adored. Maybe we weren't the friendliest bunch, but something about the town just seemed… homey. My eyes darted across the area once I stepped off and breathed in the misty air. Sure, the light sprinkling of the rain would be annoying as I walked home (considering I hadn't packed a rain jacket), but it would be bearable.

Even though my house was technically considered to be within the town limits of Lritis, it was just barely. My house was far enough in isolation, surrounded by trees and far from most other humans, that it was almost as if we didn't belong to _any_ town. In fact, most citizens of the town didn't know we were there. Our house was far enough away that when we wanted to pick up mail, we had to come into town ourselves. The route to my home was that far away and that obscured by trees.

Luckily, I knew the way.

The route started past the town hall and down the shopping district. I would continue down that path until the buildings faded into the background, the path became twisted, and the trees became thick. The fog that always covered the area would make anyone who didn't know the way well become lost, but I was used to it.

However, what I wasn't used to was people following me.

In my (now) 18 years, nobody had ever followed me to the forest. It wasn't a pathway that most people used, save for my family, so it was obvious when I wasn't alone. Turning on my heel, eyebrows raised, the figures became familiar: The three men who had rode the bus and gotten off at my stop. Holding my bag closer to my body, I had a feeling I knew what they were after.

"May I help you?" I chimed, and for some reason I was using the same voice that I always used in the candy store. Hopefully the naive facade I was putting on would hide the shaking of my legs, knees knocking together every few seconds.

They were still a bit away, but after my greeting they moved closer, stepping faster. One of the men donned a large burn mark down the side of his leg, another had multiple, thick scar wounds covering his arms and shoulders, and the last looked perfectly normal. Well… at least until I saw the skull carved into the side of his head. Brutal.

Swallowing hard, I let go of my luggage and stepped forward, all while hugging my small bag closer to my body. Scar Man held his hand out expectantly, and all three of them looked me over. "Your License?"

That was what I figured. I didn't look like I could be a Hunter, anyways… _Surely_ it would be easy for them to simply take it from me. My heart was pounding, and though I tried to step back, Skull Guy wrapped a meaty hand around my wrist. "We really don't want to get in a scuffle with a pretty little miss like yourself," he murmured. "But we want that License."

I wondered if they were able to hear the pounding of my heart. It was ready to burst. This simple piece of plastic was worth so much - enough that all three of them could live in a life of luxury for the rest of their lives. Of course they wanted it.

"I can't just hand it over," I mumbled. My legs felt like jello. _No._ It was when the man with the burn stepped closer, reaching a hand out to take my bag, that I completely freaked out.

_I_ was a Hunter. _I_ had passed the exam. _I_ shouldn't have been the one to be scared. If they were trying to get my License, then they obviously weren't Hunters themselves. I had passed one of the most brutal and challenging exams, and I wasn't ready to give that all up.

Side-stepping, I tugged on Skull Guy's arm so that Burn Dude would collide with his companion. Luckily, it worked. Momentarily stunned, Skull Guy was taken off guard by my motion. Right after bumping into his companion, I pulled my arm away.

I didn't have time to relax. The third man lunged toward me, but that was easier to dodge. Dodge, dodge, dodge. That was the epitome of what I did in the Hunter Exam, and I was able to get out of Phase 3 unscathed because of that, but it was impressive to the examiner, right?

"We really didn't want to have to do this!" One of them barked. Their voices collided together, and it was in that moment that I realized that the light sprinkling of the rain had turned into a downpour. My face was wet, my hair was sticking to my skin, and _crap_ all my belongings were probably getting soaked.

All three of the men surrounded me, and one by one they tried to tackle me to the ground. My dodging was successful, though afterwards I felt a stinging pain in my arm after one of the men scratched me, I noted the tinge of red running down my arm. Blood…?

Distracted, I ducked just in time to avoid another swing of an arm. It looked like Skull Guy was the one with the knife. I wasn't sure where he pulled it out from, but judging by the fact that neither of the other two were equipped with weapons, it was probably safe to say that he was the only one with a knife.

Clutching a hand over the wound, I just barely avoided a sharp blow to the stomach. They were shouting something to each other, and the words directed at me were laced with obscenities. Three against one… It really wasn't fair.

The rain was pouring down now, and by the time I had registered that one of the three wasn't with the other two, it was too late. The water washed away the painful shriek I let out when the blade came in contact with my shoulder. Pain and rain. Those were the only two things I was absolutely sure of in that moment.

No… Not yet.

A hand latched itself around my bag, pulling me forward and into the mud. Someone was pressing down on one of my legs. Forcing myself off the ground and trying to ignore the way my shoulder was screaming, I lifted a leg and connected my foot with one of their faces. I could hear a disoriented grunt. More commands. Yelling.

Another attempted stab, though this one only skimmed my forearm. I was covered with mud and water and sweat and blood, and besides the sharp kick I landed on one of their faces, I hadn't done all that much damage.

Why had I passed?

"Era!"

Flashing lights. Screeching. Mud was in my mouth, my hair, my clothes. Heavy footsteps faded away, and lighter footsteps came closer. When did I hit the ground a second time?

My body was sore as I was lifted up, and once my eyes just barely opened, I was able to recognize the soft face guiding me towards the car.

It didn't make any sense why my mom was there, but by the time I was set in the car, it didn't matter.

A sense of calm, of relief, of _home_ washed over me. As I could hear the metal machine starting up, I let the pitter patter of the rain bouncing off the car lull me to sleep.

* * *

Warm, safe, and comfy.

It was the sound of talking that woke me up, but I didn't immediately move. I allowed my eyes to dart around the room while keeping my body still. Mahogany, glass-topped coffee table. Woven floor mat. Old grandfather clock that chimed every 15 minutes - _ding dong ding _\- oh. Like that.

The blanket wrapped around me was tucked in such a way that I looked like a caterpillar. Upon further inspection, I recognized the patches of fabric and text sewed in. It was the quilt that my grandmother had made when I was born. 18 years later and it was still ridiculously large.

"-went alright. A lot better than my last mission."

"Hear that? Maybe you should become a Contract Hunter, too."

"I think I'll pass."

The voices registered in my mind immediately, and upon hearing them talk, I jolted up and glanced over the cream colored couch I was set in. There, to my surprise, was my mom, dad, and brother all sitting around the dining room table.

The table went quiet when I abruptly sat up, and I forced myself to peel my eyes away from the table to look between my parents. They had stood up and rushed toward my side, glancing me over with worried expressions.

Love.

Blinking, I remembered. I was out in the rain, defending my License, when my mom came out of nowhere and swooped me away. My hand automatically went to my tender shoulder, and for the first time since waking up, I noticed that I was in a fresh change of clothes. I could feel the bandages that lined my shoulder, my arm, my torso.

If I wasn't as dazed as I was right now, I would've felt undeniably pathetic.

"Era?" My mother placed her hands on both sides of my face before moving one towards my forehead. "You're warm. Being in the rain probably didn't help."

I glanced toward the table. There was Darin, still in the same position. He didn't move, but I could see his expression. He was staring at me, wide eyed and mouth slightly agape as if he didn't know what to say.

When I tried to stand, my dad appeared on my side of the couch. His arms embraced me gently, careful not to apply too much pressure to any of my wounds. "Don't move too much, love."

I wanted to cry.

There I was, on my birthday, and I had gotten the best gift of all. It wasn't the fact that my mother was, for once, home and not on a mission. It wasn't the fact that my dad hugged me, or the fact that Darin gave me such a genuine look. It was the fact that when I had woke up in my house - my real house - my mom, dad, and brother were all sitting around the dinner table.

I didn't realize how much I had longed for that image until I saw it myself.

Slowly, my family all migrated to my side of the couch. I pulled my legs up, allowing my Mom and brother to sit on the cushions next to mine, while my dad brought the rocking chair closer. The questions, as expected, came gradually.

The first questions were about what I was doing there with those men, and when I told my mom that they wanted my License, she gave me _the look._ It said she understood completely. There was a lack of female Hunters in comparison to male Hunters, so, unfortunately every time I would bring my License out, I should expect something similar.

Then came the questions about the Hunter Exam. I could feel my face turn white, and suddenly the sensation of wanting to cry came back. I swallowed my tears down. No. No weakness. I told minor details, quick to steer the subject away from my pathetic success and towards Darin's own entrance into the exam.

Yet that conversation ended quickly, and it was obvious that my younger brother didn't want to reveal much more than I already knew.

I wasn't sure how long I had been asleep, but soon enough it was dark out. My mom announced that today, she'd make dinner. My father ruffled my hair, whispered a 'Happy Birthday' to me, then disappeared to his workshop.

I would go to his workshop later, but for now, I wanted to go to my room. I dragged myself up the stairs slowly while holding onto my shoulder. Third door on the left.

When I pushed open the door, my luggage and small bag were already there. Besides that, everything was just as I had left it. Same yellow walls. Same squeaky bed. Same white dresser. However, it was a lot more… quiet than I remembered.

Dropping myself onto the bed, I curled into a ball. It hadn't been too long since I was home, but the room felt foreign to me. Yorknew and its people always moved. There was always noise - always something to do.

I could smell dinner being prepared from my room, but if I remembered correctly, that was the smell of burnt ham. It would be awhile until dinner was actually prepared and approved by my dad.

So I closed the door, basking myself in the silence for a few seconds before pulling out my cell phone.

Another missed call from Killua, yet it looked as if he didn't bother to leave any sort of text message or voicemail in its wake. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it - maybe pity? - but I called him back.

The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Then it went to voicemail.

I didn't bother to leave one, either.

So I dropped my phone to my side, letting out another sigh, when my phone started vibrating again and caused me to visibly jolt. There, on screen to signal who it was, was the dumb selfie of Killua that he had taken a few weeks again from when we were still on good terms.

I hesitated but eventually answered. "Hello?"

I didn't know why I was so nervous to be talking to him, but I was. Maybe it was the fact that he was just so, so unpredictable, and I hated that. I hated not knowing if we'd be friends one day and enemies the next. I hated not knowing what he was up to and what he _really_ wanted to say. I hated it… but I didn't hate him. No. Not yet.

"Hi."

There was his voice. Cool, calm, smooth. Not fazed at all.

"...Hi."

There was my voice. Fidgety, awkward, nervous. Not cool at all.

"I'm not gonna say it," he murmured.

When I shifted in my bed, the whole mattress squeaked. Well. That was one thing I didn't miss. "Pardon?"

"It's your birthday today, yeah?"

Oh, right. I narrowed my eyes at his question, considering that it was rhetoric since he already knew the answer. He and Gon had confessed to searching me up on the internet a few weeks ago. How creepy.

"Wha-"

"And what do people normally say on birthdays?"

I squinted up at my ceiling. "...Are you talking about 'happy birthday'?"

"Yep. That. I won't say it."

I went quiet long enough for my eyebrows to curl down and my glance to shift towards the wall. I… didn't even know what to say in response.

"Era? Still there?"

"You-" I squinted hard at the wall. "You called me to say that you _won't_ say 'Happy Birthday'. Okay. That's normal."

He huffed on the other line. "It won't mean anything unless it's in person. I wanted to say it before you got on your plane, but…" His voice trailed away. "You left."

"I told you that I was going home on the day I bought my ticket."

He went quiet, and while it was silent in my room, I remembered that day. I could distinctly remember Killua pulling me towards the alley, fingers wrapped around my chin and forcing me to look at him. He said he cared about me, but right now, I didn't know. Nothing made sense.

"I meant it, you know."

"Pardon?" I questioned. The entrance of his voice took me by surprise.

"That day in town. When I said I cared about you, I meant it."

His words cut through me like a knife when I realized he was referring to what I was just thinking of. Abruptly sitting up, I hunched forward. He couldn't just say that. No.

"Era? You keep dying-"

"Stop this." I cut him off. "Killua, stop it."

The scent of burnt ham only lingered, now replaced by what I could make out to be potatos and carrots. Maybe my Mom gave up on making dinner. That was one of my Dad's favorite dishes to prepare, and I loved it. But right now, I didn't have much of an appetite.

"..."

He didn't respond, and I was filled with both a feeling of relief and disappointment. I wanted to hear what he had to say.

"I don't get you." My voice was barely audible.

"I don't get myself, either." It took a second for him to respond, but when he did, his voice was different. The teasing, slightly mischievous tone I was used to was missing. "I don't get a lot of people. But most of all, Era, I don't get you."

He wasn't _supposed_ to get me. Nobody was. I had purposely built a wall and isolated myself from the inside. It was something I originally got from being in a family like my own, but over time, that wall hardened. I couldn't tear it down even if I wanted to. I only let people get so close.

I was okay with that. Because in the end, in a day or a week or a year or a decade from now, it would save me from a lot of heartbreak. People weren't supposed to get me, and I wasn't supposed to get them.

"..."

"Era! Dinner's ready!" My mom's voice pushed past my bedroom door, and upon hearing it, I momentarily dropped my phone, covered the receiver, and yelled back that I would be down soon.

But upon drawing the phone back to my ear, I realized that I was still shaking.

"I need to go, Killua."

"What?"

"I'll see you when I go back." I was just about to press 'End Call' when he burst.

"You never show any emotion. I've seen you raw once, in the park, when you were telling me about the Hunter Exam. Why do you just… go along with everything? Yell. Scream. Punch a pillow."

"I-"

"Y'know, I could even volunteer to be that pillow. Go ahead. Yell. Scream. Punch me."

"Are you a masochist?"

"Not exactly."

"Then why-"

"Aren't you angry?"

Was he an idiot? I narrowed my eyebrows, hearing footsteps coming up the stairs. Either Darin or my mom, probably. Yet I didn't hang up. As infuriating at this was, I wanted to keep talking with him.

But I didn't. When I saw my brother standing in my doorway, hand barely touching the doorknob, I remembered where I was.

A week away from Yorknew would be good. Without another thought, I hung up and shut my phone off.

_Yell. Scream. Punch a pillow._

If I did, he'd never know.


	11. Spices

**Author's Note: lmao im sorry i come back with a semi-boring chapter :^)**

* * *

"Too slow!"

The look of surprise etched onto his face was the only reassurance I needed. Rather than be cruel, I stopped my foot just before it connected with the side of his face, saving him from having to deal with a bruise.

Darin's eyes - previously shut - began to open, watching with furrowed brows as I lowered my leg back to my side. Besides our choppy breathing, all was silent as we didn't break eye contact. Still locking eyes, I moved back to a safe distance.

"What the hell are you so flexible…" he murmured. "But you're still faster. You should've knocked me down."

"But you can hit harder. My arms are basically jello," I countered. "Plus I didn't want to hurt you too badly…"

He huffed, obviously displeased. "BS. I can't even land a kick on you, let alone a punch."

"I…" Darin was right. "Yet. You can't land a kick on me _yet._"

He didn't respond, instead choosing to stare towards the forest by our house. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke up. "Well… This is enough for today."

"Oh." I blinked, pausing for a few seconds. We had only sparred for a few rounds, so too much time couldn't have passed. Regardless, the way that Darin had retreated to his bag and fished out his phone settled it. Our mom had been the one that pushed me to train with him, after all. The match was one-sided in my favor, but it was to be expected. I was a Hunter. Darin was a prospective one.

Heaving out a soft sigh, I slipped my bag over my shoulders and followed him inside. There was little interaction between us as we made the trek to the house - in fact, other than when he held the front door open for me to pass through as well and I said "thanks", we didn't say anything to each other at all.

I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I came back. Our relationship was the same as when I had left.

My mom pushed herself off the couch when we entered the room. She patted Darin's head as he walked past - in which he offered a displeased grunt - before turning towards me.

"Era, would you like to go into town with me today?" she questioned. Her smile was so bright that even if I didn't want to go, it would've been impossible for me to say no. Plus, this was a rarity in herself. I wasn't sure when her next mission would be, so it would be better if I jumped at every opportunity that I had with her.

So after agreeing, we made plans as to head to lunch. I walked beside her as we exited the house, but to my surprise (when I figured that we'd be driving), she merely grinned and commented that she would see me there. Then, she pushed off and started to sprint towards Lritis.

It took a moment for her action to register in my head, but as soon as it did, I had pushed off our porch and followed behind her. We had done this a few times before in the past. Whenever she wanted to go into town (on the occasion that she was home), we would always race. Needless to say, I've never won against her, but I've gotten close. I was speedy and agile, but short sprints rather than long distances were my specialty.

I hadn't had a proper run since going to Yorknew, and it was obvious by the way my running was subpar to how it used to be. Trying to breathe from my stomach, I pushed myself forward and out of the woods until the path became recognizable, the trees grew thin, and the buildings came into view.

My mom was standing outside of the cafe we had decided to meet up. I could see her phone in hand. Knowing what she was doing, I pushed myself forward with all of my might. Last stretch.

When I abruptly stopped in front of her, she clicked a button on her phone. "Two minutes and twenty-six seconds!" she chimed. "Not as good as before, Era!"

I was still bent over, hands resting on my knees as I caught my breath. The time she read was how long it took me to arrive from the time that she got there. I was almost two and a half minutes later than she was.

"Well, it's alright." She moved forward just as I stood up straight. "I'm sure that you've been working on other things in Yorknew, right?"

After a light pat on my shoulder - cue wince - she entered the cafe, leaving me out in the cold. I scurried inside shortly after, accepting a menu from the man at the counter before finding where my mom was seated.

Her statement was still clouding my mind when we ordered. "_I'm sure that you've been working on other things in Yorknew, right?" _It was almost a reality check - what _had_ I been doing in the last few months? Chasing a boy? Working at a candy shop?

No, that wasn't all. I had been trying to convince Killua to teach me Nen. It was actually pretty pathetic the more I thought about it.

My eyes, half-lidded, dropped to the tablecloth in front of us. My mom thanked the waiter before glancing in my direction, brows furrowed. "Era? Are you alright? You look pale."

I snapped out of my daze and forced myself to make eye contact with her. "Yeah, I'm fine! I was just thinking about the spar with Darin, y'know?" It was a lie, and it was almost ridiculous how easily I was able to come up with it.

"Oh," she murmured, nodding as she brought her glass of water to her lips. "I see… Darin's been training hard. Since you guys are a bit closer in skill level, I had thought that it would have been a refreshing match for him. Looks like you clearly outmatched him still, though."

"Yeah…" I watched as my mom took another sip. Did I really need Killua to be the one to teach me Nen? Surely, my mom could be the one who-

"So, what have you been doing in Yorknew? Combat? Work?"

"I… The mental part of being a Hunter, I guess." It wasn't entirely a lie. Relaxing was step one, after all. I suddenly found my napkin more interesting than the conversation. "Actually… I want to ask you about that."

Her face instantly brightened, a reaction that I was used to getting. My mom absolutely adored talking about being a Hunter, and she loved to tell stories and give advice that went along with it. "Sure, sure! What is it?"

I exhaled slowly, folding the napkin over, and reached for my own glass. "It's about Nen."

Her eyes widened, mouth agape before she regained her composure. "...Ah. You've learned about it then, right?" She offered a small smile and set down her glass, clasping her hands together to set her chin on.. "What do you want to know?"

"Well… how to do it. I want a teacher, and you're my mom, so…"

It almost baffled me how the Hunters in my family never mentioned Nen. Almost. Before, Killua had stated that it was a public secret, and from the way that people had interacted with me when the topic of Nen came up, I understood that it was some sort of test. A final test to enter the world of Professional Hunters.

My mom continued to stare at me, lips pursed, before dropping her hands back to her side. It took a long time for her to respond, and when she did, she said something that I didn't expect. "...Era, are you stable right now?"

"...What?" I swallowed hard, grip tightening around my glass cup.

She didn't make eye contact with me as she leaned forward, staring hard into the table. "Nen is… directly tied to your emotions, Era, and you've had this strange air around you since you've gotten back from Yorknew." This was the moment that she chose to meet my gaze. "Why is that?"

The first person to pop into my mind was Killua. Then came Nuly. Then came the faces of the other contestants in the Hunter Exam.

"Mom, I…" The sigh that left my mouth was heavier than I had anticipated. "You know that I've always been paranoid. I've always been…. anxious. About everything."

"That's true, but…"

Then our waiter came back, setting our plates and dishes in our respective seats. I forced out a "thanks", as did my mom.

After he left, the table went back to silence. "I don't want to feel so helpless." It was a quiet confession. Everything - from the Hunter Exam to Yorknew to when those thugs in Lritis tried to take my License - made me feel unworthy of what I had accomplished. "I just…"

"Era, you're strong. You aren't helpless," she assured me.

"But I feel like I am," I countered. She didn't respond. We sat in silence, forks just barely touching the food in front of us. Finally, I attempted to break through this tense atmosphere. "...Please?"

When my mom began to move again, this time jamming her fork through her meal and lifting it up to her mouth, I figured that the silent refusal to respond meant that it was a no - that she wouldn't teach me after all.

But, after she chewed and swallowed, she gingerly placed her fork back on her plate and lifted her head to face me.

"Alright."

* * *

Like Killua had told me in the past, and like my mom had told me at lunch, Nen and emotions were directly linked. My mother advised me to slowly learn to manually open and close the aura nodes that lined my body. She was also teaching me one of the Four Major Principles, called Ten, which was where I could keep my aura nodes open while allowing my aura to flow around me. Coincidentally, this could be accomplished through frequent meditation.

My mom wasn't sure how long the process would take, but she made it clear that she wouldn't go any further until I could do it. That could take days, weeks, months, perhaps even _years _just for me to see any results. What really pushed me forward was the fact that my mother said that due to my upbringing, it most likely wouldn't take as long as it did for others.

It was, unsurprisingly, much easier to meditate here than it was in Yorknew. I didn't have to worry about the stray sounds of technology or people or animals - our house was isolated enough that it was silent. The only thing I focused on was the consistent rhythm of my breaths. In. Out. In. Out.

Even if I was unable to see any visible results, I definitely felt different. My aura was warm. Comforting. I wanted to continue.

* * *

I ended up staying for longer than I planned. The next two weeks progressed with a similar routine each day. I would, like always, scavenge for breakfast among our pitifully empty cupboards. Two hours of meditating normally followed, and some days, my mom would push Darin to spar with me. He obviously wasn't happy when that happened, but he reluctantly agreed. At the very least, he was getting faster; My kicks failed to make contact with him as frequently as they had when I had just returned back.

After lunch at home or in town, I spent a lot of time in my Dad's workspace. He told me some of the hilarious stories and events that had happened during my absence. He asked for my advice when designing some of his weapons. He gave me a feeling of nostalgia that wrought open my heart, making me almost not want to go back.

I also spent as much time as I could with my mom. We frequently made runs to Lritis, and over the course of these two weeks, the time between us shorted. I made sure to practice physical training as well - including long runs - and by the end of the two weeks, I was able to arrive at our meeting location before she could even retrieve her stopwatch.

In my free time after dinner (which normally consisted of "burnt-something" made by my mom), I continued to meditate. I wanted to prove that this was something that I wanted to do. I wanted to learn it.

This is why I no longer felt guilty about learning Nen without Nuly.

I was going to learn for myself. It would be an attempt to feel stronger and worthy_. _I wanted to prove that my achievement of passing the Hunter Exam wasn't a fluke.

These thoughts forced my eyes open. I stared hard at the blank wall in front of me before slowly standing up. My trip to Lritis had already lasted longer than I had expected, but I didn't feel any need to head back to Yorknew.

Mom had been called in yesterday, leaving us with a cheery goodbye and the promise that she'd stay safe and be careful. Something immediately felt off after she left. My Dad went back to his workshop, and Darin crawled away to his room.

She had, however, told me prior to leaving that I was improving at a rate faster than she was expecting. Whether it was due to genetics or the constant meditation, I was absolutely ecstatic.

My eyes found the phone situated on my desk. I hadn't actually checked it in a few days, though I had made sure to inform Gon that I would be staying here longer than expected.

With a shrug, I gently picked it up. Three messages from Gon, one from Kurapika, two from Leorio. One from… Nuly.

Gon's messages were all pictures of what he was doing: Fishing, eating out with Kurapika, even a picture of Leorio playing tag with some kid. Kurapika's was a short "I hope you're doing all right". Leorio's was a string of text and symbols followed by an apology (because apparently he butt-texted me?).

Then there was Nuly. It was a text saying that she was sad that she didn't get to say goodbye when I left, and that she was leaving Yorknew again since her father had finished whatever work he was doing. She mentioned that things hadn't gone how she wanted them to. She ended the text with an apology.

I wanted to throw my phone into the wall.

The text had been sent a number of days ago, meaning that she was most likely long gone out of Yorknew. Whenever I decided to return to my apartment there, she wouldn't be there.

I slumped onto the ground. Leaving things like this gnawed at my insides, but there was nothing else I could do.

I only looked towards my phone again when I heard it vibrating.

It was a call, and the caller ID in bright blue letters stated that Gon was the one who initiated it. Curling my knees toward my chest, I picked up. "Hello?" My voice was shaky. I couldn't explain why.

"Era!" Gon chirped immediately after I had picked up. "We haven't heard from you in awhile. Are you coming back so-"

He didn't finish his sentence, as I could hear him squeaking as the phone was taken from his grasp. After a bit of static, another voice entered. "Era?"

The soft, tender voice on the other line had to have been Kurapika. "Hey," I greeted, smiling even if they couldn't see it.

"Are you doing alright?" he asked. "Staying for longer than you intended, I presume?"

It took a few moments for me to respond. "I… Yeah, I guess so. I'm going to stay for even longer, too."

This time, it was Kurapika who paused. "I see. Stay safe then, alright, Era?"

"I will. Thanks, Kurapika."

When the phone went back to silence, I assumed that he had hung up. However, the sudden, hushed breath made me think otherwise.

"Era…"

"...Yeah, Kurapika?"

"Are you sure?"

I blinked, my lips pushing together at his question. "Hmm? Yeah, I'm actually doing better than I have in a long time. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. That must be it," he offered, quickly dismissing his previous statement. "I was just curious. You… sound different, somehow. Anyways, I must go. Gon and Killua are participating in some tournament today, and I need to watch. We'll talk later."

"..."

"...Era?"

"Oh, sorry!" I blurted, shaking my head. "I dozed off for a second. Tell them I said 'good luck'."

"Will do. Well, Gon's actually here right now, and so is Killua, so I'll just put you on speaker-"

_Click_.

I won't admit what caused me to do it, but in that second, I immediately hung up, eyes wide and free hand sprawled across my mouth. My eyes didn't leave the phone screen, instead staring hard at the simple gradient background that replaced the call screen that had been there moments before. Shortly after, I held the power button and flipped the phone over, sliding it to the other side of the room.

So pitiful.

* * *

With my mother gone again, things had reverted, strangely enough, back to how they had been prior to my leaving for the Hunter Exam. It was… weird. I felt weird, but I guess this was something that I was used to.

Today, I opted on sitting on a stool in my Dad's workshop, watching carefully as his eyes gazed over his latest creation. It was a thin, shiny sword that had been filed to a sharp point. What was interesting was the grandiose, sweeping metal design that made up its hilt. A rapier.

"When are you heading back again, love?" he inquired, eyes only glancing up in my direction for a split second.

"Four days," I whispered. He knew this. But the way that I saw his brows furrowed only confirmed my thoughts: He didn't want me to go.

We remained in silence until finally, he lifted the rapier towards the suspended light above the table, turning the blade slightly as it caught the light. "How is it?"

"It's beautiful." That was when he finally chose to look at me, returning my soft smile. "It's really beautiful."

"I'm glad you think so. Can you hand me the scabbard to your right?"

Obliging, I reached for the obsidian colored sheath and handed it towards him. He nodded as thanks, gently inserting the sword into it.

"Please make sure to come visit again."

My shoulders hunched forward. "I will. I promise."

He set the rapier gingerly onto the table between us, stretching his arms toward the ceiling while releasing a slow, drawn out sigh. When he finished, he looked towards me and said something that I wasn't expecting.

"...Did you know that I almost became a Hunter?"

"What?" My brows furrowed down as I leaned forward. "You guys never told me that."

He let out a soft chuckle. "Yup. I didn't take the Exam per se, but I did know Nen. Your mother was telling me that she was teaching you it as well."

I nodded as I leaned backwards in my seat, eyes flickering towards the dusty wooden ceiling that had a single bald light bulb suspended from it. "I've only learned Ten."

"I see. But she told me that you were improving at an impressive pace. I'm sure that you'll be a Nen expert in no time."

"Hah. I hope. So, um, why didn't you take the Hunter Exam if you knew Nen?"

"One of my grandparents taught me Nen, actually, though I was never that good at it. Plus I didn't want to actually become a Hunter, love. I much rather enjoyed creating. That's why I'm a blacksmith."

"Mm… I see."

"My grandpa thought I was being stupid. He said that I could still be a blacksmith _and_ a Hunter, but I… I don't know. It didn't appeal to me. He was, however, ecstatic when I brought your mother home one day. She had just completed the Hunter Exam. In fact, it was my grandfather who taught her…"

I listened intently to the story, eyes never wavering and mind never drifting. Though I had been here for over four weeks already, it seemed like there was still so much I needed to catch up on. But I knew - and my Dad knew - that I couldn't stay forever.

* * *

Yorknew during the evening was absolutely beautiful. Streetlights paved the path, and it was rare for the streets to be empty.

Lritis, on the other hand, was the opposite. Only a few lights were scattered here and there, thus leading me to depend on the few sources of lights coming from the streetlamps and shops that were still open. I mumbled quiet curses to myself as I tried to find an open grocery store or market. We were nearly completely out of food, save for the old, mushy apple sitting on our island table in the kitchen. Less than appetizing, definitely, but even more so, it wasn't enough to sustain three people for dinner.

So instead, I announced that I was heading into town to purchase groceries. Between my father being in his workshop and Darin's eyes being glued to his game device, I doubted that either one of them acknowledged what I had said.

But when I found the market, I halted.

"You said her name was Era Arlene?"

"Yeah. About thisss tall, dark hair, green eyes. Small build, right?"

There, standing in front of the bulletin board of the grocery store, were the very people that I hadn't expected to see. No - they shouldn't have been here. There was no good reason for them to be.

But then one of them turned around, and there was no way that I could mistake those striking emerald eyes.

It was something that I wasn't ready for. Shortly after one turned, the two next to him forced themselves to look in my direction as well.

On the left, conversing with a man in front of the grocer's, was the familiar spiky hair of Gon. On the right was the taller, somewhat older looking male. And in the middle…

"Killua," I murmured. "Gon. Leorio. Why are you guys…"

I couldn't finish my sentence. Almost immediately, Gon pushed off the ground, lunging forward towards me and wrapping his (muscular) arms around my smaller frame. He squeezed me with much more force than was necessary, yet I welcomed the embrace.

"Era!" he choked out. "We thought something had happened to you-"

"What?" I narrowed my eyes, gently removing his arms from my body. "And why would-"

"It's because we were in the middle of a phone call when the line suddenly 'cut out'. None of us could contact you since then, and it's been - what? Two weeks? Four since you've actually been in Yorknew?" Killua cut in abruptly, staring hard at me with an icy gaze. I returned it.

Straightening my body, my eyes couldn't help but glance between the three men in front of my. The other civilian who Gon was speaking to had turned around to head back inside. Seeing his retreating form reminded me of why I had come out here in the first place.

"I… need to pick up groceries," I stated, subconsciously picking my legs up and moving them towards the front door.

"Are you ignoring me?" Killua finally piqued in, and from the corner of my eyes, I could see the way that a single eyebrow shot up, mouth curved to one side. "After we all came to see you-"

"_Which you didn't need to do."_ I pointedly mumbled, refusing to look at any of them. "Coming here was like a break from Yorknew. I didn't ask for you guys to come after me."

I was able to step through the sliding glass, but the footsteps behind me confirmed that the three men had followed me inside.

"But Era, we were worried. You didn't respond to any of our calls or texts or anything," Leorio finally admitted.

My shoulders hunched forward at that, but my footsteps failed to cease as I reached for a basket to place my items in. With them following behind, I began to pick up the items I needed.

"Sometimes, I don't check my phone. Isn't that normal?" Apples. Pears. Bread.

"But you always respond within a few days." The whining voice was Gon's.

Pasta. Meatballs. "Sorry? What am I supposed to say-"

"I have expected you to be dead." Killua.

"Well, I'm not." Chips. Fruit snacks. Juice. "You guys can head back now."

"I was worried about you, though." It was Killua again.

That one statement was enough to cause me to stop dead in my tracks, filled basket in one hand while my other fist was clenched tight. Did he just…?

"You can't just say that." In a swift glance, my grocery basket hit the floor, and I found myself taking heavy steps toward the emerald-eyed boy, finger pointing accusingly in his direction. "You can't just _say that._ After everything you did, you can't just claim that you were worried about me."

"But I was." His voice was calm. His voice was calm and smooth, and I wanted to punch him for it.

"You can't just come to my hometown all of a sudden - completely unannounced - when a big reason I left in the first place was fucking because of you." My voice was steady. I was surprised that I wasn't yelling. But, after thinking about everything Killua had done, he wanted me to yell, right?

Surprisingly though, I saw his eyes widen. Surprised? I doubted that he was.

"Era, stop-" Gon tried to cut in, but I didn't listen.

"So stop trying to play the victim." My finger retracted, hand falling limply back to my side. "Just stop it."

And with that, I turned on my heel, reached down towards my basket, and continued on through the aisle.

To my shock, none of them followed me. There were no footsteps behind me as I reached check-out, bagged my items, and exited the store.

It was dark on the trek home.

* * *

After preparing a sub-par dinner myself (plain pasta noodles since I had forgotten sauce), I chose to retreat to my room for the remainder of the night.

A much needed session of meditation occurred, and I was able to calm down my jittery nerves. About an hour later, after staring up at the ceiling for a few seconds, I reached toward the floor to grab a pillow that had fallen. That was when my finger brushed against cool metal. My phone.

Hesitantly, I wrapped my fingers around the smooth surface and brought it to my face. As it powered on, I could see my own reflection.

I wasn't prepared for what popped up. 64 messages, 27 missed calls, 8 voicemails.

To my surprise, a majority of them were from the boy who I had blown up at earlier today. With reluctance, I began to scroll through the messages - many of which were worried - and then the voicemails.

"_Era? Yeah, uh. Gon's really worried about you. So are Leorio and Kurapika. Stop being so lame and call one of them back. You're probably not checking your phone, I know. Lame."_

"_Yo. I think we're going up to Liritis to, um, visit. Uh. Gon was the one who suggested it. We'll be there tomorrow probably."_

"_..Hey, Era?"_

"_I'm- Wait, no. I mean, we're coming right now."_

With my phone flat against my chest, I kept my gaze locked on the ceiling. Four of the eight voicemails had been from Killua, and in the last two, something about Killua's voice had shifted.

I rolled over, reaching for the plug on my dresser to attach my phone to.

Don't get your hopes up, Era.


End file.
